Convolutions
by Maggie Eaton
Summary: A few months into their marriage, Jack and Sam are facing rough times. No copyright infringement intended. WARNING: Violence. Complete.
1. Drifting

Title: **Convolutions**

Author: Maggie Eaton

Summary: A few months into their marriage, Jack and Sam are facing rough times.

Classifications: Angst, Romance

Spoilers: Minor Season 9

Archive: Special Thanks to the creators and writers of Stargate/Stargate SG1 for lending me their wonderful characters to play in my enjoyable but profitless imagination. I'll be returning them shortly.

Notes: Response to ATST Challenge 11, using the words 'He shone above them as an angel' and/or the word 'Separation'.

**1. Drifting**

Jack was sitting on the small balcony of his Washington apartment. It was late afternoon and the chill was keeping his Guinness cold. The day was dreary around him and he was angry. Brooding. Sam hadn't been here in weeks and even worse; she didn't seem to miss him anymore. She was too busy going through the gate to God knows where and doing God knows what with Mitchell. Oh, he had the reports. He'd read them all. That didn't stop the pangs of jealousy that were gripping his heart like a vice. They were drifting apart and he didn't know how to stop it.

He closed his eyes and her image appeared instantly. She was smiling and running towards him, anxious to be with him again. How long ago had that been? He'd picked her up at the airport and swung her in circles with his strong arms. He could hear her laughter, feel her breath on his neck...the winds of happiness surrounding them. He'd even noticed the smiles of passersby as they laughed and kissed, obviously thrilled to see each other again.

And then they had the argument.

It started as a simple conversation, but it blew out of proportion quickly, swirling around them like a tornado, wild and out of control. He didn't want her to give up the Stargate, just ease off a bit. Take some downtime, relax, and maybe even take a vacation with him. She understood. She wanted that, too, but it was difficult and he wasn't cutting her orders anymore. She warned him not to interfere. She wouldn't have the people at the SGC think she was getting favors from him. He took that to be the "General's daughter" conditioned response kicking in and backed off. They had discussed all of this before. All he wanted was to protect her, to keep her safe and alive, to spend the rest of their lives together. But she was adamant. No interference. And he had reluctantly agreed just like he always did, giving her what she wanted, never telling her how much he needed her there with him.

He glanced at his watch. It was 7:00 pm. She was probably still in her lab, head bent over some alien technology. He stood and went inside the apartment, picked up the phone on the desk and dialed the SGC.

"This is General O'Neill, is Colonel Carter on base?"

"Let me check, Sir." There was a dead silence as the call went on hold while they checked the roster. "The Colonel is not available at this time, Sir. Could someone else help you?"

"What about Landry?"

"He just left for the day, Sir."

"Give me the officer in charge then."

"Yes, Sir."

More silence as the call was transferred.

"Colonel Davis."

"Davis, this is O'Neill. Where's SG1?"

"General! They're on a mission, Sir. Scheduled to return in a couple of hours."

Jack glanced at his watch again, a hint of disappointment spreading across his face.

"Anything I can help with, Sir?"

"No, no. Just checking in on the kids. Everything going ok?"

"Yes, Sir. No indication of any problems. Standard meet and greet."

"Until all hell breaks loose." Jack's stated flatly, speaking with the voice of experience.

"Yes, Sir, but we don't expect any trouble, all's fine for now. Should I call you when they return?"

"No, don't bother. Thanks, Davis."

He waited for the final response and replaced the phone in its cradle, tapping it with his fingers for a few seconds before moving away, accenting the growing pain in his soul.

oOo

Hours later SG1 stepped onto the ramp and headed for the infirmary for their medicals. Colonel Davis caught up with Sam and fell in step beside her.

"So, no problems, Colonel?"

"Nope. Just as expected. Rather boring, I'm afraid. Daniel made some progress with the locals though. He and Mitchell will fill you in."

"That's good. Any mission without problems is a good mission."

"Yeah." Sam chuckled. "Better than coming back on a gurney!"

"Uh, Colonel. General O'Neill called in a few hours ago."

"For me?"

"Well, he was asking about SG1."

"Did he leave a message?"

"No. I told him you were scheduled to return in a few hours."

"Ok. Thanks, Davis."

She kept on walking as Davis stopped and watched the team walk away. The connection between them was missing; there was no banter, no laughter. SG1 had changed. They were silent and somber now, no resemblance to the SG1 O'Neill had commanded. He felt a pang of remorse as he watched them walk away. They all missed the old SG1, full of life and mischief but there in a flash if your ass needed saving. It just wasn't the same without O'Neill.

Daniel hurried his steps until he was beside Sam and then he matched her pace, staying beside her as they walked.

"Everything ok, Sam."

She turned a confused look on him. "Fine, Daniel. Why do you ask?"

"No reason. Just seemed a bit cool back there."

"I guess I don't like the General checking up on me."

"He cares about you, Sam. That's all."

"Right." She stepped up her pace and moved away from him, continuing on to the infirmary without another word.

oOo

Her phone was ringing when she walked in the door of her house and she hurried to pick it up.

"Carter."

"Hey, gorgeous!"

"Hi, Jack."

"Just getting home?"

"Yeah. Just walking in the door actually. Everything ok?"

"I guess. I just…miss you."

"I know. I'm sorry, but it's been really busy here and even if I were there, you'd be at work."

"Things have settled a bit now. I'm getting home earlier."

"That's good. You need the rest."

"I rest better when you're here."

"Jack…."

"When are you coming back, Sam? Any idea?"

"Not really. We're going out about three times a week and with the technology being brought back by the other teams…."

"Other teams? What about SG1?"

"We aren't really doing much exploring. We seem to be assigned to lots of diplomatic missions lately."

Jack chose to ignore the slight accusation he heard in her voice.

"So, you're bored?"

"Restless, maybe. Davis said you called. Checking up on me?"

"What? No. I just wanted to talk to you. Is everything ok?"

"Jack, you aren't influencing SG1's orders are you?"

"Sam. I told you I wouldn't and I haven't."

"It just seems…"

"Want me to talk to Landry?"

"No, I can do that for myself. And besides, he talks to Mitchell, not me."

Jack was silent as he digested the twang of bitterness in her voice.

"Mitchell?"

"Well, he's in charge of SG1, Jack. You appointed him, you should know that."

"Sam, you weren't there. You were at 51 at the time! And then with me, here."

"It was my team, Jack. My command."

Jack felt his knees weaken and the floor seemed to ripple beneath him. There it was. She blamed him for losing command of SG1. And she was right, he had assigned Mitchell the command but only because she wasn't there.

"Sam you must know how much confidence I have in you. I would never…"

"How would I know that, Jack?"

"Sam! Don't be ridiculous! You know how much I trust you! You wanted R&D."

"I know you love me, Jack, but I'm not sure how you feel about me as commander of an SG unit."

Jack shook his head in disbelief. He was being blind-sided by this. He hadn't expected it, although maybe he should have. Sam had had to fight her way up through the military ranks, battling her gender as well as the normal standards and in her eyes; he'd taken away her first real command. He started pacing as he tried to reassure her.

"Sam. How can you not know that? I trust you with my life and anyone else's. In the field or elsewhere. You've already proven yourself to be a worthy commander, time and time again. You've got the experience, the intellect…"

"But not SG1." She interrupted.

"Sam!" Frustration was spilling liberally into his voice now even though he was trying to control it.

"Well, if you trust me and respect me as an officer then I guess it's my own fault. I should never have gone to Area 51. Maybe I shouldn't have gone to Washington, either."

That hurt. Jack felt his chest clinch, he was losing her and he could feel panic rising in his throat. He hadn't waited eight years to lose her after just a few months. His mind was racing furiously trying to find the right words to assure her, to bring her back to him. He wanted to hold her, to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless, to make her understand. But she was in Colorado and he was in Washington.

"Sam, I'm coming home. I'll be there tomorrow."

"No, Jack. You can't just walk out on your job and you know it."

"Some things are more important than the job, Sam. You're more important. I love you and whatever this thing is, whatever's wrong, I want to fix it."

"Not now, Jack. Please, just give me more time."

"Sam! No…"

"Please, Jack?"

There was a long silence as he stared at the blank wall in front of him, picturing her in his troubled mind. Then he let out a sigh, threw up his hands and against his better judgment, gave in. He would stay in Washington and she would stay in Colorado.

"Ok, baby, whatever you say. But I'm coming soon, I promise."

"Ok, Jack and thank you. Goodnight."

"I love you, Sam. I love you so much."

The phone clicked in his ear and he felt tears threatening to well up in his eyes. His heart was breaking, slowly, painfully shattering into a million pieces and all because of Mitchell.

Three weeks later he was again sitting on his balcony, thinking about Sam and how they had drifted apart. He called her everyday but it hadn't seemed to help. He couldn't seem to get out of Washington but he'd be damned if he let this continue. He had to find a way out of this, Sam was his life, his salvation, his happiness and he wasn't about to lose her because he'd assigned a hotshot pilot command of SG1 as a reward for saving all their lives. It was wrong. It was all wrong and he had to fix it soon.

The doorbell rang and he slipped inside, setting his bottle on the hall table. He glanced at his watch and against all reason, hoped it was Sam. But then reality kicked in. She wouldn't ring, she'd just open the door with her key.

He swung the door open to a young attractive woman dressed in a smart business suite. She was smiling in a very friendly manner as he studied her.

"General Jack O'Neill?"

"Yeah, I'm Jack O'Neill."

"Then this is for you, Sir. Please sign here." She held out a small clipboard for him to sign and when he returned it, she handed him the envelope.

"Thank you."

He said the words absent-mindedly as he closed the door and walked over to the chair. The envelope was no surprise, he received couriered papers on a regular basis, but as he started to tear into the package, he noticed this one was from Colorado.

He sat heavily in the chair and pulled the papers out. A single sheet of stationary drifted to the floor and he leaned over to retrieve it. Holding it up, he realized it was Sam's familiar scrawl and laid the envelope down to read her words.

"Jack,

I hope you can forgive me for this, I think it's for the best. I'm sorry.

Sam."

He laid the note on the table and lifted the typed pages up again, reading slowly the words stamped across the top. It was a legal document and a frown deepened the worry lines across his forehead as he read.

Samantha Carter O'Neill

Vs.

John J. O'Neill

His hands started to shake and the words became blurred as he struggled to make sense of something that could never make sense to him. Was she divorcing him? He scanned the pages quickly and his eyes locked on the words "legal separation."

"Damn you, Carter!"

He spit the words distastefully from his worried mouth and then threw the papers across the room as he rose from the chair in a rage. He crossed the room to the phone and dialed her number, but hung up before it even rang then quickly dialed his superior officer and requested emergency family leave.

An hour later, he was packed and ready to walk out the door. He stopped and gathered the offensive papers and shoved them in the outer pocket of his bag. He looked around the room. Her influence was everywhere and in the short time they'd spent here together, she had etched her memory into every crevice. He turned back towards the door and opened it, muttering as he went.

"Not this time, Carter. Till death do us part, remember? You don't get rid of me that easily!"

He turned off the light and headed for the airport, he'd be in Colorado in a few hours and this time he wouldn't give in. This time he'd fight for what he wanted.

TBC


	2. Taking Steps

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to review the first chapter. It's so good to hear from you and I hope you continue to review as the story progresses.

One special note to "mcguire": Thank you so much! I hope to hear from you again and that you also share your opinion with other authors. Your opinion does matter, otherwise I'd probably just throw this in a drawer somewhere with all the others! LOL. Please continue to read and review.

I have incorporated my response to a group (As The Stargate Turns) Challenge using both the phrase _'follow the leader'_ and the word _'Brave'_ in this chapter. Or in Teal'c's infamous words "Two birds with but one stone."

See Chapter 1 for disclaimer and other general information.

…_and now on with the story._

**Convolutions **

**Chapter 2. Taking Steps**

Jack settled into his seat and stared out the window. The plane was only about half full and due to the late departure time most everyone would be sleeping, everyone except Jack.

He watched solemnly as the city lights disappeared and he felt the plane level off at cruising altitude. The attendant brought him a drink and he tossed it down then asked for another. She smiled and trotted away, returning a few moments later with his request.

_Sam_. What the hell was she thinking? Did she really expect him to play this stupid "follow the leader" game without a fight? What had she twisted up in that super brain of hers that could possibly rationalize their separation? She loved him. He knew that to be fact, had known it for years. Why was she suddenly ready to throw that away? His mind searched but found no answers, refusing to believe he was going to lose her over a command decision, he changed tactics.

_Maybe_ it was him. Had he done something to make her doubt their relationship, his commitment? His mind played back her last visit. Everything had seemed great to him then, of course they hadn't really talked about work. They'd been so glad to be together that the subject just hadn't come up. Her happiness had been genuine, her smile warm and real. He would have known if she was hiding something, wouldn't he? They'd spent their days in bed, at the park, had taken in a movie and even had dinner with a mutual friend that was stationed temporarily in Washington. Nothing out of the ordinary and so he had assumed the argument was finally over – settled, history. He hadn't mentioned SG1 and neither had she.

Jack poured his second drink and swirled the liquid mindlessly around the glass. Experience told him that Sam had all the answers although she might not share them with him. She could be as closed off as he could and he didn't look forward to battling it out with her, but he would if it came to that. He wasn't going to just walk away – not this time. She was worth fighting for. But first, he'd try talking. He wasn't very good at that and words often failed him, but he'd try. Maybe he should just demand an answer. He deserved that much and it wasn't like Sam to be unfair. And leaving him now, without any explanation would be incredibly unfair.

He checked his ticket for arrival time and grimaced slightly as he realized there was a stop in Dallas to change planes. This wasn't an Airforce jet that would streak across the skies nonstop and reach the base in a few hours. It would be a long flight, but it would still get him home. Suddenly he was very tired. He should try to sleep.

He struggled in the small space, trying to stretch his legs, trying to find a comfortable position. Finally, he shifted his mind into combat mode, the one that allowed him to sleep anywhere, the one that allowed his physical machine to rejuvenate and his mind to rest even though part of him remained ready and alert. He laid his head back against the seat, ignoring the discomfort and concentrated on sleep. Suddenly the air around him stirred slightly and he grasped the hand on his shoulder almost before it touched him. The young attendant jumped, startled by his sudden movement. Jack looked up into surprised green eyes and smiled as he released her arm.

"Sorry, ma'am."

"That's all right, I'm sorry to startle you. The captain saw you come aboard, Sir and wondered if you would like to move into first class. There's plenty of room, General and you'll be more comfortable there."

Jack looked at his knees pressed against the seat back and started to stand.

"That would be nice, thank you."

He settled in and a few minutes later fell into a dreamless sleep, exhausted from his work and the added stress of trying to solve a problem he didn't really understand.

It was 0500 before he reached the house. It was dark, almost foreboding as he stood outside staring at the darkened windows. A light snow drifted silently to earth around him and the brisk air felt refreshing against his face. He was tired. Even in first class, it had been a long flight and for the first time that he could remember he wasn't excited to be home. He wasn't even sure it was home anymore and although he didn't want to admit it, that scared him.

He stepped quietly onto the porch and slipped his key into the lock. A small sigh of relief escaped him as the key turned easily unlocking the door and dispelling the barely recognized fear that she might have changed the locks. At least she hadn't taken that step yet, hadn't barred him from her life completely.

He moved down the hallway and pushed gently against the bedroom door where Sam was sleeping. The house felt warm, comforting and he smiled as his eyes fell on her relaxed form. She was wearing a little pink strappy tank top and shorts, resting on her stomach with one leg peeking out from beneath the covers. Her arms were wrapped around the pillow, as she cradled it against her head, her face relaxed and her tousled hair falling randomly across her face.

She was tired, exhausted, otherwise he would never be able to sneak up on her like this. Oh, she slept soundly when she was home, a direct opposition to her sleep on missions, but still aware and waking at the slightest sound. He fought against the urge to brush the hair from her face and kiss her cheek, finally stepping silently into the bathroom.

He brushed his teeth and undressed, hanging his uniform haphazardly on the hooks on the door. She'd hate that, but it was the least of his worries, right now. He was tired and he needed her, his emotions were alternating between wanting to feel the comfort of her against him and dreading the rejection if she pushed him away. Those thoughts brought back the anger, the pain he'd experienced as he opened that damned envelope and he quickly forced it to the back of his mind, locking it away, if only temporarily. He was home. He'd fix it somehow, he'd do what he had to do to make it right again.

When he returned to the bedroom she had turned on her side and her bare leg was now dangling over the edge of the bed, her arms free of the pillow and relaxed at her sides. He stopped short, taken aback by her innocent beauty. There was no sign of the brave soldier he knew her to be. That persona had slipped away, hidden in sleep, replaced by the beautiful creature that he loved so completely. His heart swelled in his chest as he watched her sleeping peacefully, totally unaware of his presence. Slowly he moved to the bed and gently lifted her leg, placing it back onto the bed as she moved slightly against his touch. He paused and smiled when she didn't awaken.

With all the stealth he could manage, he slipped into bed beside her, careful not to touch her or rouse her from sleep, hoping to avoid any confrontation until morning. He stretched out on his back and relaxed into the pillow as the comfort of the familiar bed caressed his body, then he closed his eyes waiting for the shelter of sleep to engulf him.

He was drifting away when he felt her stirring beside him. He pulled his mind back to consciousness as she turned and snuggled into his naked chest. Her arm moved around his waist, tugging slightly as he lifted his arm to make room for her and she nuzzled her face against his neck.

"Jack?"

She wasn't awake, but had sensed that he was there and in sleep sought the comfort of his embrace. He suddenly realized that his body had tensed up as she moved against him and shook his head slightly. How had they let this happen?

Pulling her against him slightly, he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"It's me, baby. Go back to sleep."

Her only response was to snuggle closer against him as he wrapped both arms comfortably around her and closed his eyes. She was in his arms. He was home. Everything else could wait until morning.

A few hours later a warning signal triggered his brain and he was immediately awake. He lay still as his trained senses went on silent alert, still pretending to be asleep as he searched for whatever had awakened him. Suddenly he realized that Sam's hand was moving across his chest, her touch slow and gentle. When it stopped, he covered it with his own, squeezing gently and a slight smile tugging at his lips.

"Jack, what are you doing here?"

He opened his eyes, pressed his lips against hers softly and then smiled warmly.

"Morning. I live here, remember?"

He held up his left hand and wiggled his fingers, indicating the ring that rested there.

"No, Jack, you live in Washington. I live here."

He stared quietly at her for a moment. She was still lying in the crook of his arm, her body pressed against his and her head tilted back so that she could look into his eyes.

"That's only temporary, Sam. My home is wherever you are."

"I know you got the papers, Jack."

"Yeah. I got them."

He looked down, away from her eyes, feeling pain and anger beginning to replace the thrill of waking up beside her.

"Well, then?"

He caught her eyes again before he spoke, making sure his voice was soft and free of the anger he felt.

"I think you owe me an explanation, Sam. What the hell is going on?"

She was still lying against him, watching him closely, and she hadn't tried to pull away. He was reading a lot into that simple inaction. Sam wouldn't hesitate to push him away if she didn't want him to touch her. He pulled her slightly closer and allowed his hand to stroke the soft skin of her arm as he waited.

"Tell me."

"It's not that simple."

"It was simple enough that you served me with legal papers without even talking to me first. How complicated can it be?" A bit of frustration slipped into his voice and he saw something flash across her eyes, something he didn't quite recognize. "Sam?"

He felt her hand press firmly against his chest and with one quick movement she was standing beside the bed.

"I have to go to work, Jack. Let's not do this."

"I'm not leaving until I know what's going on."

His voice was still soft but Sam recognized the determination coloring it and knew he meant what he was saying.

"I have to shower and get dressed."

She turned and walked out of the room, leaving Jack alone and more confused than ever.

He heard the spray of water as the shower came to life and pushed up from the bed, slowly standing to his feet. The room that had felt so warm last night, now felt a bit chilly and he wondered if that was because he'd just left his warm bed or if it was the distance he could sense growing between himself and Sam. Running his hand through his hair, he crossed the room and pulled on a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. He glanced at the bathroom door, then at the clock on the nightstand and started down the hall to the kitchen.

He moved efficiently about the kitchen, making coffee, toast and eggs. He was almost finished when she appeared in the doorway.

"Hey! Coffee's ready!"

She smiled slightly and moved to pour them both a cup, leaving his beside the pot as she moved to the table and sat down.

"Want some breakfast?"

"You shouldn't have come here, Jack. I told you I needed more time."

"And I told you I was coming soon."

"That was three weeks ago."

Jack stopped in mid-stride at the accusatory tone of her voice.

"I know baby, I'm sorry. It's hard to get away."

"But now, suddenly, you're here."

Confusion filled his eyes.

"Sam, I always want to be here. You know that, don't you?"

She looked down, wrapping both hands around the cup and pushing her chin forward.

"I'm not sure I know anything anymore. I can't get to Washington, you can't get home and…"

"And?"

"Everything just feels wrong, messed up…"

Jack sat the pan back on the stove and moved towards her but she was already standing up to move away.

"Sam?"

She stopped and turned towards him.

"We talked about this. We promised not to go to sleep or walk out hurt and angry."

"I'm sorry, I have to get to work, Jack."

He followed her to the door watching as she pulled on her jacket on and reached for the door. He didn't want her to just walk out like this but he didn't really know how to stop her.

"Sam!" He almost yelled as his frustration overwhelmed him.

She turned towards him and was surprised at the pain reflected clearly in his dark eyes. She looked down and fiddled with the zipper of her jacket, knowing that she was hurting him and hating herself for it. Finally looking up again with a faint smile, she tried to lighten the situation.

"It's okay, Jack. I'm not hurt or mad."

Turning quickly, she reached for the door but he stopped her, his hand covering hers as she grasped it.

"Sam?" He paused, waiting for her to meet his eyes. He spoke slowly and distinctly, separating each word. "I am."

Their eyes locked for a long moment and he could see a deep sadness that he'd never seen before and then the beginning of tears as she looked away.

"I'm sorry, Jack, I have to go!"

She tugged the door open and went through it hurriedly. She didn't stop or look back, just climbed into her car and drove away.

Jack stood in the doorway staring after her and thinking that she was right, everything did feel wrong. Then he slammed the door forcefully and cursing softly, walked away.

TBC - 


	3. Spilled Emotions

Thanks for all you reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

trtlsoup - New life. New house.

See Chapter 1 for disclaimer and other general information.

…_and now on with the story._

**Convolutions **

**Chapter 3. Spilled Emotions**

Jack walked into the kitchen and looked at their untouched breakfast, a glaring symbol of his failure. Eggs were still in the frying pan on the stove, a cold, sticky mess now, and toast was standing tall in the toaster, it's pleasant aroma having completely dissipated. Sam's cup sat alone on the table, half filled with the cold black liquid. He picked up the cup, starting toward the sink in an automated movement and then stopped looking down into the cup.

"She didn't even stay long enough to finish her damned coffee!"

As the last word left his mouth his anger exploded and he hurled the cup across the room, watching it smash against the wall and create a dark stain as the spilled contents trailed slowly towards the floor.

He ran restless fingers through his short, unruly hair and grimaced at his own frustration. Coffee, he needed coffee. He crossed to the pot and picked up his own cup, momentarily forgetting it was cold; he took a huge gulp and immediately squeezed his eyes shut against the distaste of the cold bitter liquid as it filled his mouth and fueled his anger. He swallowed quickly and then propelled the cup forcefully across the room, striking the wall with a small explosion as it joined its partner on the kitchen floor. His eyes followed the fragmented shards as they skittered across the tiled floor and in less than a heartbeat his arm was sweeping forward in a broad, furious motion. He struck his mark dead-on and the coffee pot went flying across the room. The toaster was next, clanging loudly as he swept it from the counter and left it to dangle precariously by its cord, toast and crumbs falling randomly around him. He turned quickly toward the stove and lifting the frying pan banged it down repeatedly on the counter, sending eggs flying over the sides and splattering helter-skelter across the counter and floor, his arm absorbing the jolt of his rage with every blow. The plates followed, joining their cousins as useless fragments torn apart by an unrelenting rage.

With nothing left to punch or destroy and their breakfast now decorating the entire kitchen, he stood and surveyed the results of his anger. He released a deep sigh as one hand fisted and folded against his hip while the other rubbed slowly backwards across his forehead and hair. He shook his head and muttered aloud, "Jack O'Neill, you are one stupid son of a bitch!" Eventually he looked down at his bare feet, cursing softly as he found himself completely surrounded by numerous pieces of broken glass. Having no other choice, he moved carefully across the room, avoiding as much glass as possible and balancing on one foot to remove the rest as he went.

When he finally reached the hallway, he went to the bedroom, finished dressing and then straight out through the front door. It was cold but not snowing and as his feet struck the gravel of the driveway, he started jogging. By the time he reached the end of the block he was running full tilt, pushing his muscles with every stride, feeling his heart begin to race in his chest and burning up his anger. He kept on running and pushing until his muscles were screaming at him to stop, his breath crystallizing the air in front of him as he huffed out chunks of warm carbon dioxide and sucked cold, fresh air into his lungs.

And he kept running. His strong arms pumping as his feet slammed against the hard surface of the street, both actions propelling his sizable body forward and blurring the quiet beauty of the snow kissed landscape around him. He didn't slow, or pause, he just ran. But even with this powerful exertion, his mind continued to work, to question and analyze, searching for a solution. He thought back to the years that he and Sam had worked together on SG1. They had built a concise, almost perfect field unit. It was magic. It had been from the first moment they'd stepped through the Stargate together. The communication had always been there, expanding and improving with each passing year. He knew what she was thinking with a simple look or a gesture. She could do the same. They hadn't needed words. And he had held on through all that time and turmoil, loving her from a distance but never allowing himself to actually acknowledge his feelings.

Then he'd been promoted. And promoted again. Shortly after receiving news of the second promotion, she had requested transfer to Research and Development, wanting to continue her work on the alien technology they had procured off-world and effectively moving herself out of his direct line of command in the bargain, she left the SGC. And he was glad. He'd never have _asked_ her to do it, but he _was_ glad. She'd be safe on earth and even though she was thousands of miles away, that was better than millions of light years.

After that, it had been a natural progression for them to come together. "Someday" had finally arrived and Jack at last, came home. Daniel had saved him all those years ago, but Sam…Sam was his journey's end, Sam was home. He didn't know if he could live without her now, but he knew he didn't want to find out.

Jack's breathing was ragged now, almost gasping, as his legs struggled to keep moving. His vision was blurring and he felt light headed as he consciously slowed his pace. His mind was playing the same scenarios over and over, but his anger had dissolved and exhaustion was creeping in, slowly overpowering him. But he kept going, kept running, pushing until finally the world spun out of control and he staggered, falling hard against the curb.

"Dammit!"

He managed to utter that single word and reach toward the pain in his head before his eyes closed and the world went dark.

"Sir? Sir, are you all right?"

He groaned and grimaced deeply before opening his eyes. A young woman was kneeling beside him, staring with obvious concern into his face. He started to sit up and felt her hand pressing against his shoulder.

"Maybe you should just stay there for a minute. How do you feel?"

"I'm ok." He spoke the words before he'd finished the mental inventory that he'd become all too familiar with over the years. His mind was still a little confused as he took in the hard surface beneath him and the snow covered landscape around him. "Head hurts a bit. And my knees, but other than that…I'm fine."

"Ok, well just rest for a minute. What happened?"

"Uh, I was running, stumbled on something…must have hit the curb when I fell."

"Maybe I should call an ambulance?"

"No, I'm fine, really." He smiled and pressed against the asphalt, pulling himself into a sitting position. "Ow."

"How long have you been running, if you don't mind my asking?"

Jack blinked, trying to clear his vision and stammered a bit as he answered.

"Oh, I don't know…years…all my life."

Her amused giggle startled him and he looked up at her.

"What?"

"I meant, just now…today. How long have you been running? How far?"

"Oh!" Jack lifted his arm and looked at his watch, surprised at the time. It was almost noon. "About three and a half, I think."

"Miles?"

"Hours." He pressed his fingers against the painful spot on his head and recognized the familiar warm, stickiness soaking through his hair. "Crap!" He muttered quietly.

He didn't see her facial expression change in surprise as he answered. Nor did he notice her studying him closely, wondering if he'd really been running for that length of time. He looked to be in good shape and seemed to be running almost full out when she saw him fall but she doubted that a man of his age could run for three and a half hours.

"Sorry, I don't have anything to put on that. Are you sure you don't need an ambulance?"

"No, it's fine, just….messy."

He smiled for the first time since regaining consciousness and the young woman seemed to relax a bit. She pulled a water bottle from her belt and offered it to him.

"Take this, then. You must be thirsty."

Jack gulped at the water, realizing he was probably dehydrated or very near so. Then he looked around, trying to get his bearings. He actually wasn't that far from home and thought he could make it there on his own, after a short rest.

They were sitting there on the curb, resting, when a police officer stopped to check out the situation. He, too, offered to call an ambulance, but Jack refused. He just wanted to go home and finally, after some basic first aid, the officer offered to drop him off. Jack stood slowly to his feet and was just about to tell the officer he could make it on foot when the world started to spin crazily again. He reached out and grasped at the woman's shoulder steadying himself against the vertigo and smiling crookedly.

"Maybe I'll take you up on that offer after all, Officer."

"Sure thing."

The cop stepped closer to Jack just in case he started to lose his stability again and they moved towards the car. Jack thanked the young woman, finally introducing himself and then slid into the police cruiser. In a few moments they were driving away.

The police officer saw him safely inside his house before he drove away, advising Jack to have someone look at his injury and Jack agreed. He walked towards the kitchen and across the littered floor. Crunching glass beneath each step, he filled a glass with water and drank it down, then filled it again and sipping at it slowly started towards the bedroom.

He was tired and nauseous and thoughts of Sam were once more dominating his mind. He grabbed a towel and pressing it against the still bleeding cut, collapsed on their bed. Her smell assaulted his senses as he relaxed into her pillow and snuggled into her memory. The hand he had pressed against his head slowly relaxed, dropping limply away as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Sam screeched into the driveway at 1630 and hopped out of the car, hurrying towards the house. General Landry had transferred the call from a concerned police officer to her lab once he realized the call concerned O'Neill. It hadn't sounded serious, but when Jack didn't answer either the house or cell phone, she'd begun to worry.

She pushed open the door and called out to him immediately, pausing to listen for his voice. Silence. Complete silence. Only the kitchen light was on and she started towards the doorway, gasping slightly as she reached the entrance. The room was wrecked, broken glass littered the floor and remnants of food were scattered about, some clinging to the walls and cabinets, even a few bits on the ceiling. Her eyes widened as they moved about the scene. A skillet was balanced precariously on the cabinet edge near a dangling toaster and the handle of the coffee pot lay close to the opposite wall. Either they'd had a vandal break-in or Jack was in a rage. Even though she was betting on Jack, her anxiety was increasing as she called out to him again. Reaching behind her, she pulled out her handgun and started slowly down the hall.

"Jack! Where the hell are you?"

She was already moving towards the bedroom as she called out to him and released an audible sigh of relief as her eyes recognized his relaxed figure lying on the bed.

"Jack? Jack!"

She tugged gently at his shoulder and he rolled easily towards her, exposing his bloody head and the towel beneath it.

"Jack, oh, God! JACK! Wake up! Can you hear me?"

She was shaking him now and not very gently. Her pulse was pounding in her throat as her eyes took in his pale face and the blood soaked pillow. She reached over to gently touch his head, trying to find the injury.

"Jack, can you hear me? Wake up, Jack, open your eyes!"

She was sitting beside him on the bed and when he didn't respond she reached for the phone. She was already dialing when his fingers brushed against her arm.

"Sam?"

His voice was soft and scratchy as if he'd been sleeping for a long time.

"Jack! Are you all right?" She slammed the phone down in its cradle and turned back to him. "What the hell is going on?"

"What?" He paused, closing his hand around her arm and squeezing lightly. "Sorry, baby, I didn't realize you were here, I thought I was dreaming. What time is it?"

He moved his hand against her skin, stroking her arm softly as he stared, a bit confused, into her concerned eyes.

"It's, I don't know, about 1700. Jack, your head…how bad is it?"

"1700? And you're home already?"

Sam let out another loud sigh.

"Yes, Jack. The police called the base to see if we were missing a General. When Landry realized it was you, he transferred the call to me and they told me they'd brought you home. Now, what happened? You don't trip and fall, Jack, at least not on earth."

"Ow! Stop!" He pulled away and yelled angrily as her hands moved across his skull, exploring the injury. "Sam, don't! I'm fine."

"So I see. I've been calling, Jack, if you're fine, why didn't you answer the phone?"

"I was sleeping! Now, will you stop?"

Ever the bad patient, Jack pushed her hand away.

She slapped his away in return.

"No, you stop! I think you're still bleeding. You probably need stitches, now let me see." She turned his face to the side and pushed the hair away, his blood oozing slowly around her fingers. "You've got one hell of a bump and a good sized cut. What did you hit?"

"Ouch! Sam! Hit? Wha da ya mean?"

She released her hold on him and he turned to look at her.

"Jack, are you sure you're all right?" She couldn't tell if he was just trying to annoy her or if he really couldn't keep up with the conversation. "You fell, remember? What did you hit?"

"Oh, yeah! The curb. I hit the curb but I'm ok, Sam."

"Come on, can you stand up?"

He was slurring his words and his eyes looked a bit strange as he tried to focus on her; she suspected that he had a mild concussion.

"Yes, but I'd rather stay here." He reached his arms around her and pulled her down against him. "I just got home. I've barely even seen you."

His eyes were smiling warmly, teasing her silently, as he held her against him. She pulled her hand away from his head and held it up for him to see. It was covered in fresh blood.

"Oh."

"Now, come on. Let's go. You need stitches and if you're a good boy maybe Dr. Summers will give you a lollipop." She wiped her hand on the towel quickly and stood up, preparing to take his weight if he started to fall. "Easy, you might be a little dizzy."

He sat up too quickly and the world started spinning again.

"Whoa! Ya think?"

She chuckled and although his head was pounding, the sound of her laughter warmed his heart as he looked up at her smiling face.

"You look a bit drunk…_Sir_." She quipped, still chuckling.

"Very funny, Carter. Now, help me!"

He reached out an arm and she slid beneath it, helping to lift his sizable frame to a standing position. They both swayed momentarily as he stood and Sam thought for a second they were going to fall, but she spread her feet further apart and held him, finally stabilizing them both. He turned to look at her with a small, goofy grin forming on his lips.

"Ok?"

"Yeah. You?" She grunted softly, shouldering his weight, as they moved across the room. "Sure you can do this?"

"Yeah, it's ok now, I'm not so dizzy."

She felt the strain on her muscles relax considerably as he straightened and shifted most of his weight off of her.

"I swear, Jack, that Irish temper is going to be the death of you!"

"What temper?" He asked, confused again, thinking maybe he had a concussion because he couldn't seem to keep up.

"I saw the kitchen." She answered flatly.

"Oh. I uh…spilled the coffee."

Sam looked up at him, eyebrows raised, only to see that patented "adorable little boy" look that he invariably used when he was in trouble.

"And then decided you'd _break_ the dishes instead of washing them?"

His eyes flickered, closing momentarily as blackness threatened to engulf him, but he could hear a hint of amusement in her voice and he fought against it.

"We needed new ones, anyway!"

She chuckled slightly and opened the car door, helping him into the passenger's seat. When he was situated and belted in, she started to close the door and he called out to her again.

"Sam?"

"What?"

"We needed a new coffee pot, too."

He watched as she closed her eyes and bit down on her bottom lip, shaking her head side-to-side slightly. He was still talking as she closed the door and moved around the car.

"And a new toaster! Maybe a set of cookware…."

It took about two hours to get Jack cleaned up and patched up then they were on their way home again. The mood between them had changed and they were now driving along in silence. Jack was watching her, wondering what he'd missed. She'd been almost normal on the way to the base, reacting automatically to his injury and openly showing her concern for him. Now she was more than quiet.

"Sam?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"When? What do you mean, Jack?"

"Something's…I don't know…_different_."

Sam glanced over at him but quickly returned her gaze to the road ahead of them. After a long pause, Jack spoke again.

"I'll fix it you know…the kitchen. Clean it up, replace it…whatever."

He waived his arm around loosely, which to him meant fixing the whole universe if that made her happy.

"Ok."

'_Ok? That was it, just ok? So it wasn't the kitchen.'_ He sat quietly for a few minutes, fighting against the sedatives trying to think clearly about the day's events and everything that had happened since the papers were delivered to his door.

"Did something happen at the base?" He saw the signs of tension flash across her face as she sought an answer for his question. "Ok. Let me rephrase that. _What_ happened at the base?"

"You didn't notice anything?"

"Not really."

"The sideways glances, the whispering and giggling as we passed?"

"Oh, that. Yeah, I guess. What about it?"

"It happens a lot, Jack."

His brow became deeply furrowed as he listened, trying to concentrate on her words.

"Ever since I came back to the mountain…and it seems even worse when you're here."

She grimaced a bit, staring at the road intently, as she spoke the last sentence, knowing how it sounded.

"Ah!" '_Well, here we go, he thought, back to me_.' So what's it about, Sam? Rumors? What?"

"Us, Jack, you and me. But mostly me."

He was quiet for a moment and when he did speak, his voice was filled with quiet exasperation.

"Damn! I thought those would stop now that we're married!"

"What?"

Sam almost shouted the word and Jack looked at her, clearly surprised at her reaction.

"What?"

"What do you mean '_you thought they'd stop'_? Are you telling me this was going on before?"

"Sam, I'm a little foggy here, but surely you knew there were rumors about us."

"About me, my rank, my command ability, Jack? About me "_sleeping_ my way to the top"?

"No! Just whether or not we were…." His voice trailed off as he registered the look on her face. "They're just jealous, Sam. They can't accept the fact that you're so damn smart so they make up something they _can_ accept!"

"I don't think that's it and it's getting harder and harder to deal with. Suddenly, I'm not Colonel Carter or even just Sam anymore…I'm the General's wife or Mrs. O'Neill or some other things that aren't nearly that polite…and it pisses me off!"

Jack chuckled involuntarily and she shot him a killer look. He threw up his hands in response.

"Sorry, sorry! I know it does but you don't have to take that crap from anybody. Just tell 'em to go to hell!"

"They don't say it to my face, Jack!"

"Well, we'll figure something out."

"Easy for you to say, General, _Sir_." She emphasized his title strongly and then continued in a voice dripping with contempt. You'll be in Washington!"

"Sam…"

"You ordered me back here, Jack! I should've stayed in R&D…"

"Sam, Landry requested that you be reassigned here, he needed you. Mitchell needs you! And I thought you didn't _want_ me making decisions on a personal basis!"

"I don't!"

"Well, then what did you expect when Landry calls me up and asks for the best scientist for SG1? Did you expect me _not_ to recommend you?"

"Dammit, Jack!"

"It'll blow over, Sam! Just give it some time."

"That's just it, Jack, it won't. Have you forgotten Dad was a General? It never goes away."

Her tone had changed to one of defeat and Jack didn't like the sound of it at all. He could handle the yelling and fighting as long as it led to eventually working things out, but it didn't appear that was likely to happen anytime soon. He took a deep breath and rubbed a hand across his forehead.

"We knew it wouldn't be easy."

He glanced over at her trying to lighten her mood with a warm smile but she just stared at the road.

"Sometimes, it sucks being right."

"Yeah."

Jack watched her for a moment and then laid his head against his palm. His head still hurt and his addled mind was searching desperately for a solution. He wouldn't let it end like this, not like this. He'd find a way. His eyes fluttered as the drugs began to take hold and when he spoke the words were soft and slurred.

"There's always a way out, Captain." Then his eyes closed completely and he relaxed into the drug-induced sleep.

"Captain?" Sam repeated the word in surprise but he didn't answer and when she looked over realized that he was sleeping. "Captain."

It was a statement this time, her mind already traveling back to Antarctica and Jack's insistence that they would get home, practically ordering her not to give up even though he knew they were hopelessly stranded. Then she cursed herself for starting this in the first place. He was hurting and probably not thinking very clearly and she was… Hot tears trickled down her cheeks and she wiped them quickly away, reaching across to stoke his arm.

"Jack, are you ok? We'll be home soon."

"Sam..."

The drugs had really taken hold of him and the word was little more than a whisper. She glanced over every few seconds, checking on him, wondering how she was going to get him into the house alone. Finally, she picked up her cell phone and called Daniel.

Daniel answered on the second ring.

"Hey, Daniel."

"Hi, Sam! What's going on?"

"I was wondering if you could meet me at the house, Daniel. And Teal'c, if he's with you."

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Is something wrong, Sam?"

"Jack banged his head and the doctor gave him some pain meds. He's completely out of it and I don't think I can get him inside alone."

"Jack? Here? Now?"

She chuckled softly. She'd thought the grapevine at the SGC would have reached him by now.

"Yeah. We're almost home though. Where are you?"

"Oh, we're at my apartment. We'll leave right now. Meet you there."

"Thanks, Daniel."

With both Teal'c and Daniel, it was no problem getting Jack inside. They took him to the bedroom, stretched him out on the bed and were barely breathing heavy from the effort.

"Thank, guys! I'm not sure I could've done that again."

"What you did it already?" Daniel asked her, puzzled. "When did he get here? And what happened?"

"He got here last night and went out jogging after I left this morning. Apparently, he stumbled or something and fell. Hit his head on the curb. When I got home he was unconscious and I took him back to the base to Dr. Summers."

"Jeez, only Jack!"

Sam chuckled again. "I know! Well, thanks for helping, we'll be fine now."

"You sure? We can stay."

"Thanks, Daniel, but you go ahead with your plans. He'll probably sleep until morning now."

"Ok. Well, just call if you need anything."

Sam nodded and looked down the hallway to see Teal'c already walking toward the kitchen. He bent down and picked up a shard of glass that he'd seen glistening in the light that was drifting into the hallway. Sam took a deep breath. She had hoped they wouldn't see the kitchen.

"Colonel Carter, there seems to be…"

Daniel walked around him and glanced into the kitchen, freezing in place with his mouth gaping open.

"Holy, crap! What happened, Sam? I thought you said Jack fell in the street?"

"He did Daniel."

He looked back at her, completely surprised and only half believing, he waited for her to supply more information. She looked at Teal'c who was also staring in anticipation of her answer. She unconsciously furrowed her brow and pressed her lips together in thought before speaking.

"Jack spilled the coffee."

Then she just shrugged and smiled as if it happened everyday and hurried them out the door.

TBC -

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	4. It Happens

Thanks for all your reviews! Please keep them coming! So happy to finally post this chapter for you and hope you like it. Either way, let me know.

_**Previously –**_

_She looked at Teal'c who was also staring in anticipation of her answer. She unconsciously furrowed her brow and pressed her lips together in thought before speaking. "Jack spilled the coffee." Then she just shrugged and smiled as if it happened everyday and hurried them out the door._

**Convolutions**

**Chapter 4. It Happens**

Jack awakened to a nagging headache and the faint smell of strawberries. Sam. His lips turned up in a crooked smile as he studied her. Then he chuckled aloud, still confused by this beautiful complexity that he'd married. He refused to believe that she'd cuddle up to just anyone like this, so why the separation papers? What was going on in that super convoluted brain that he couldn't possibly understand?

'_Damn headache!'_ He turned away from Sam planning on getting some Ibuprofen from the bathroom cabinet and smiled when he saw it sitting on his nightstand along with a full glass of water. He downed a few of the tablets and lay back against his pillow, stroking his forehead unconsciously. In a few seconds she moved against him again, snuggling into his body, squirming until she'd found the perfect spot and then sighing into his shoulder. He pressed his lips against her hair and left them there, drinking in the sweet smell of strawberries and waiting for the headache to subside.

They'd been lying there for a long time when Sam started to whimper and stir beside him. She was mumbling in her sleep, dreaming. She never did this off world, but he'd learned quickly that she did it often at home, her mind didn't seem to rest even when she was sleeping, tossing and turning, rehashing events, solving problems. He'd heard her say some pretty strange things, most of which he didn't understand so he just hugged her against him and waited.

Her hand pressed hard against his chest as she tried to escape his embrace. More mumbling and then suddenly, "Dammit, Cam! No!"

Jack froze as he felt every muscle in her body tense.

"Stop! Don't…."

Her voice trailed away as Jack watched and waited, totally confused and wondering what the hell she was dreaming about. Then she began to whimper softly and even though there were no real tears, the sound of her suffering sent shivers up Jack's spine. He was about to wake her when she yelled out to him.

"Jack! Where are you…can't find him…Daniel! Where….no…don't…Jack, please. Daniel, help me."

She was crying now, tears running freely down her cheeks from her still closed eyes. That was it, Jack couldn't watch this anymore.

"Sam, wake up, baby. I'm here. I'm right here."

He was kissing her face and hugging her close without even really thinking about what he was doing, just wanting her to wake up – trying to pull her out of the nightmare.

And suddenly she yelled. "Mitchell!"

"Hey, Sam! Hey, hey, hey. It's me. Mitchell's not here! Come on, everything's ok, I got you, baby." He leaned back and brushed the hair out of her face and smiled as she opened her eyes. "It's me, baby. You were dreaming. We're ok."

Her voice was full of confusion as she stared at him still not completely awake.

"Jack?"

He pressed a soft kiss against her lips and pulled back to grin at her.

"Yeah. Who else? You ok, now?"

"Jack? Oh, God, Jack!"

She kissed him solidly, pressing herself against him along the lengths of their bodies, her sudden passion taking Jack by surprise as she wrapped herself around him and held on, kissing him aggressively.

Jack held back for only a moment, wondering in the back of his mind why she was calling out Mitchell's name and then he let his emotions and her passion take control. She moaned softly against his neck as his hands made short work of her clothing, leaving her bare against him and then her lips were on his again. Searching and furious, attacking his mouth with the savage desire that he had yearned for.

He rolled them over and pulled away from her lips, searching her sleep heavy eyes. She was driving him crazy. He couldn't hope to keep up with her moods lately and he had no idea why she was pressing against him now, moving seductively beneath his weight. He slid one hand down her body and she gasped loudly, grabbing his hair as his fingers brushed lightly against her skin. He felt her move, adjusting slightly and spreading her legs for him and he stopped thinking about everything else. All he wanted was to make love to her.

She teased and petted, slowly coaxing him deeper into her soft embrace and then exploding beneath him like a wild fire blazing out of control, darkening the world around them and devouring all the oxygen, as it pulled him into the inferno.

"Sam."

He groaned her name in a tense whisper as he moved against her, lost in the blinding passion that surrounded them. This was his Sam, his wife, the woman he loved and needed but tonight she was different somehow, dark, scared, almost desperate in her passion. Suddenly her nails were digging into his back and her body was clenching around him, pulling him along in its wake as her fire finally consumed him.

The room was silent around them now and they lay still against each other, cradled in each other's arms. Jack was drawing in great gulps of air, as Sam struggled for her own breath beneath him. He pressed his lips against her neck, kissing her softly, intimately on the tender skin below her ear and holding her close.

"I've missed you, baby."

His hands stroked her skin gently, lovingly as he spoke and she pressed her face against his.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Sam. Let's just fix it, whatever it is. Let's make it right, ok?"

"I'll try."

"That's all I want. Don't give up on us, Sam. We can do this, together we can do anything!"

His hands were now running through her hair, stroking and calming her with his touch.

"Loving you wasn't the problem, Jack. Still isn't. But…"

"Let it wait till morning then, ok?"

She looked into his pleading eyes and knew it wasn't too much to ask. She'd missed him and knew that he'd missed her, too. The problems weren't solved and hadn't magically disappeared but she felt safe and loved in his arms so it wasn't hard for her to agree. She smiled as his hand again slid along her body, stroking her gently.

"Ok. Until morning." She smiled into his eyes and then frowned suddenly. "How's your head?"

"About a 7, I'd say."

"On a scale of one to ten?" She asked puzzled.

"Nope. Richter's."

Sam giggled against his shoulder. "Need something for it."

"Just had it. You're the best possible cure." He placed a light kiss on the end of her nose and gave her a half smile. "I'm fine, Sam."

"Ok, but medicine might work better."

"Had that, too." He grinned.

"When?"

"Just before we…before you woke up."

"Oh."

"Don't suppose you want to share what you were dreaming about?"

A dark cloud settled quickly over her face as Jack watched.

"Not just now, ok?"

"Ok." Jack settled against her, relaxing but still letting his hands roam over her body. He just hoped it was him that she was making love to and not some fantasy lover, or worse…someone else. He pushed that fear away and pulled her close. "I love you." He whispered.

"I know." She whispered back to him as she wrapped her arm around his waist and snuggled closer.

"Sam, do you have fantasies…picture someone else when we're making love?"

A deep frown creased her brow. "I thought we were going to talk tomorrow."

"Yeah. We are…so, do you?"

"No, Jack. I've never felt the need. I can barely think at all with you...doing what you do." She smiled warmly as her voice trailed off and she looked into his somewhat worried eyes. "There's no one else, if that's what you're thinking."

His eyes turned a deeper shade of brown as she watched and a small twinkle reappeared. "Good answer." He pulled her into a deep, gentle kiss that successfully conveyed all of his unspoken emotions for her and then he whispered against her ear. "Good night, baby."

"Jack, you know I really don't like that "baby" thing."

"Yes, you do." He teased. "You just don't want anyone else to know it."

She giggled against his neck and echoed his words. "Good night, baby."

"Sam, that's gonna get you in trouble."

"Oh, yeah? Well, what's good for the Colonel is good for the General, I say."

Jack kissed her forehead, laughing as he pulled her closer. "Go to sleep, smart ass."

But he was smiling as she relaxed into him and he fell asleep listening to the beat of her heart against his chest.

* * *

Jack opened his eyes slowly, listening to the loud banging and soft cursing that had interrupted his sleep. He rolled over to where Sam should have been; already knowing she wasn't there but somehow hoping she was. His head was pounding again as he rose slowly to get dressed. Another loud bang invaded his senses, causing him to stagger slightly.

"Sam!"

He yelled knowing she probably wouldn't hear him and got a stabbing pain in the head for his efforts. The headache tablets were still on the nightstand and he reached for the bottle, swallowing several before he started down the hallway.

The tinkling sound of glass being dumped into the trashcan greeted him as he stepped into the hallway, followed swiftly by several low curses and the sound of the lid being slammed down, rather forcefully. _'I'm in big trouble'_ he thought as he walked slowly towards the kitchen.

He stepped into the doorway and watched her for a second before speaking.

"Morning."

She was momentarily startled and whirled on her feet to face him, broom and dustpan in hand.

"Here, give it to me. I'll finish up."

"No, you're barefoot and besides, I'm almost finished."

"Sam…."

"I said it's all right!" Her voice rose almost a full octave as she shouted her frustrated reply. "Really, I'm almost done. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shout but what the hell were you doing, Jack? Trying to destroy everything we own?"

"No, just…some of it." He quipped brightly and then grinned but was met with her cold angry stare.

"What happened? What were you mad about, Jack?"

"What was I mad…?" He trailed off, unable to believe she didn't know. Ok, truth time. He'd just tell her. "Not what, who. You, Sam. I was mad at you."

"Me? What did I do? I wasn't even here!"

Her voice was still strained as she looked at him in confusion.

"You served me with those damned separation papers, Sam! That's what you did or have you forgotten that little titbit already?" Now Jack's voice was raised, too but he hadn't moved from the doorway. "And then…you wouldn't even sit down and have coffee! You just walked out in the middle of it!"

"We weren't in the middle of anything, Jack, I had to go to work! You know that!"

"That's just an excuse, Sam and you know it. I deserve better than that from you. I expect more than that!"

"Jack, you don't understand…"

"You're right about that, Carter! How about explaining it to me? Explain to me that you don't want to see me anymore but then make love to me the way you did last night!" He stopped and waited, his eyes, overflowing with anger, daring her to answer but she remained quiet. "No? Then how about just starting with why you're yelling Mitchell's name in the middle of the night!"

Sam froze for a second and then slammed the broom and dustpan to the floor, scattering the last remnants of Jack's rage across the room again.

"Mitchell? He has nothing…" She never finished that sentence, glancing into his eyes and away again. She wasn't ready for this argument. She wasn't prepared so she unconsciously used her tactical experience against him, diverting him from the real issues. "Dammit, Jack! You can be so…. infuriating! You can't even decide who you're talking to…your wife or your subordinate!"

"No, I'm perfectly clear on that…or at least I was until recently! You, on the other hand, seem to be having a problem with it!"

"Yes, dammit, I am! And is that not allowed? One minute I'm saluting and "yes, siring you" and the next I'm in your bed! And you push me, Jack! Do I always have to be your perfect little scientist with an answer for everything? That's pretty damned hard to live up to, Jack!"

"Carter!" Jack moved across the room and stopped just inches from her face, shouting and staring down at her as he would a new recruit, but Sam didn't flinch. He knew what she was doing and he intended to stop it here and how, he wasn't going to let her distract him and avoid the issues. "I want to know what's going on! Stop all this bull shit and tell me the truth! Just tell me! You can start with what were you dreaming about!"

"None of your damned business!"

"Oh, well that's good, Carter! That's really going to help!"

All reason had gone out the window. They were both furious and yelling and Jack thought maybe this was what it was going to take. Maybe she had to totally lose control before she'd give in.

"Oh, shut up, General!"

"Hey!"

"You get mad and destroy the kitchen but I can't even throw down a broom without you getting bent out of shape and going into your 'general' act!"

"Broom! That has nothing to do with this and you know it! You're avoiding the issue, Sam, and that won't solve anything. So if we have to scream until we're senseless, then we have to! But I intend to find out just what the hell is going on!"

"Um, morning guys!" Daniel's voice squeaked just a bit as he spoke into the moment of silence. "Are we…. Yeah. Good morning!"

He repeated the words and pushed his glasses up on his nose, smiling uneasily as he realized that he had just walked in on round three of something miles short of marital bliss and quickly decided to feign innocence.

"Daniel, what the hell are you doing here?" Jack's tone left no room for misinterpretation as he glared at his friend. "It's not even 0900 yet!"

"Yeah, I know! Well, I uh, saw the mess last night when we brought you inside and I thought you might want coffee this morning…so, I, uh, brought you some. A new pot and some…coffee."

He held the items out towards Jack and Sam, reminiscent of a peace offering.

Jack and Sam turned to face each other, glaring harshly and silently agreeing to put this argument aside for now. Then Sam turned back towards Daniel, smiling.

"Thank you, Daniel, that was very thoughtful." She looked around the room uncertainly for a moment. "I was just looking for the coffee!"

"Oh, is that what you're doing?" Daniel stood calmly watching his friends as they struggled to deal with the uncomfortable situation. "Funny, it didn't sound like that from over here."

"Daniel!"

Daniel immediately recognized the warning tone in Jack's voice but paid little attention.

"Is everything ok, Sam?" He watched closely as Sam moved to start the coffee.

"Yeah, Daniel, everything's just "peachy" as the General would say. We were just cleaning up."

She flashed a sarcastic smile at Jack that no one in their right mind would interpret as sweet and Daniel flinched slightly.

"Um, I should go…" He pointed a thumb over his shoulder towards the door nervously, unable to pretend innocence any longer.

"No, Daniel. Stay. Sit down and have some coffee. It's good to see you!"

"Yeah?"

"Of course, Daniel. When haven't we been happy to see you?"

Sam was trying to smile but the strain was obvious. Daniel had known them long enough to know they were both pissed and the two of them together – angry, could be a powerfully destructive force.

"Well, there was…ok, forget that. So, Jack, when did you get home?"

Sam looked at him with a questioning glance and he shrugged his shoulders slightly as he tried to make light of the situation. Sam shook her head and let an honest smile cross her lips for the first time since he'd arrived, suddenly amused at his unease.

"Ok, Daniel. We were fighting. Satisfied?"

"Well, I kinda got that, Jack. I can still go…"

"Hey, they don't call you diplomatic for nothing, huh, Danny?" Jack was smiling, sarcasm dripping from that "kill me if you can" smile that Jack liked to use on the Goa'uld.

"Are you two putting me on? Or is there a problem?"

"Both." Jack snapped back.

"Ok. Well, is it serious? Maybe I can help?"

Daniel was frowning, wondering if he even wanted to know or get involved. This wasn't a team thing; it was Jack and Sam. Passionate, protective and volatile all in the same breath, dodging and weaving so quickly that only they could keep up.

"Oh, yeah, big time! And no you can't!"

"Jack!"

Now Daniel was confused, he knew they were fighting, really fighting when he arrived but they had turned it off just as if they'd flicked a switch. No, he wasn't sure what was going on but he knew that Jack was still very upset. His confusion mounted as he looked from one to the other.

"I thought we were friends. I was just offering to…"

"Yes, Daniel. I know and we are. Besides, you brought coffee. And I have a rule about not shooting the guy that brings the coffee!"

"Ok, Jack. That's good, I guess." Jack's mood was jumping all over the place and with amazing speed. He'd never seen this particular "Jack mood" before and it puzzled him.

"Yes, it is!"

Jack smiled and slapped Daniel on the back, tromping out of the kitchen and slamming the bedroom door a few seconds later, hard enough that the dishes in the cabinets rattled and Daniel jumped. He looked at Sam with a worried expression as she quickly turned away.

"Dammit!" She muttered and threw a cup against the wall.

"Sam?" Daniel asked quietly.

"What?" She snapped and then immediately apologized. "Sorry, Daniel, it's just…"

"Ah, it's ok. You don't have to explain, Sam. It happens."

Sam looked up at him with surprise clearly written on her face.

"What? Fighting?"

Daniel nodded slowly.

"You and Sha're?"

"Oh, yeah!" He chuckled. "Only she didn't throw dishes at the wall, she threw them at me!"

Sam smiled and then giggled, wondering what Daniel had done – or what Sha're had thought he'd done.

Daniel let out a sigh of relief with his laughter. Now if he could just get through to Jack, make him realize that maybe things weren't as serious as they seemed…but smiling was probably hoping for too much.

Sam and Daniel sat at the table, sipping coffee and waiting for Jack to return. When an hour had passed, Sam walked down the hall to check on him. She pushed open the door to find him sleeping on their bed so she closed the door and returned to Daniel.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. He's sleeping. It's probably his head injury or the meds."

"It's ok, Sam. I can see him later…when he's feeling better. He's still upset."

"If he were that upset, he'd still be here fighting, Daniel."

"Maybe he doesn't want to fight with you, Sam. He loves you, you know."

"Yeah, I guess I do."

_TBC -_

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	5. Impressions

Thanks for all of you that are reading this fic and a special thanks to those who reply or review. You keep me going! As always, all mistakes are mine! Hope there aren't many! Enjoy!

This chapter includes the challenge words and phrase from As The Stargate Turns group Challenge #16_"Are you positive that I have to do that?"_ and_"broken"_.

**Previously - **

"_Maybe he doesn't want to fight with you, Sam. He loves you, you know that."_

"_Yeah, I guess I do." _

**Convolutions**

**Chapter 5. Impressions**

Sam was still sitting at the table drinking coffee when Jack came into the kitchen. He was barefoot and wearing sweats, his hair tousled more than usual. Sam looked up at him and thought how handsome he was, how adorable, but she didn't say those words, she just watched as he poured a cup of coffee.

"Hungry?" She finally asked.

"Yeah, a bit."

"How about an omelet?"

"Sure, that'd be great." He sat down at the table as she stood up to start his breakfast. "Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"It's ok, Jack. Don't worry about it. It's my fault anyway. Eat your breakfast and we'll talk. Ok?"

"Yeah, ok."

Sam sat the plate in front of him and then took her chair across the table from him.

"Well, Jack if we're going to talk about this calmly, maybe we need some rules. I won't yell if you don't yell. And I'll try to be as honest as I can. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Oh, and no throwing things either, especially not dishes."

He smiled at her warmly, reflecting the teasing twinkle back into her eyes.

"Do we have any that aren't broken?" He grinned mischievously but then agreed. "Ok."

"None of this is your fault, Jack. It's me. I just can't seem to deal with all that's happened. I guess I've put things off and they finally just got to be too much. But none of it's your fault."

"Sam…"

"Just listen, Jack, please."

"No, Sam, I'm part of this. I won't just sit here and do nothing."

His voice was low and soft, but insistent. Sam nodded. He was right, but it wasn't going to make it easier.

"It's not just one thing. I can't just say 'this is wrong' and fix it. It seems like everything is wrong or almost everything. I guess things just haven't turned out the way I expected. It's all a lot more difficult than I thought it would be."

"For instance?"

"Well for one, you're in Washington and I'm here. We never see each other. Most of the time it doesn't even feel like we _are_ married. We've haven't even lived together in this house! I suppose I have an idea of what marriage should be like and this…just isn't it. I miss you, Jack. It's almost the same as you being my CO. I can't find a logical solution…"

"And your brain won't let go. It's like a festering wound."

She looked up into his smoky eyes, surprised at his attentiveness and understanding.

"Yeah, I guess. Everyday I go into the SGC and listen to this snickering in the hallways or whispering in the mess about "Carter and O'Neill", about being the "General's girl" or that the "General must be enjoying that piece of ass!" Or sometimes, it's just the opposite! 'I must be such a bitch that the only way you can live with me is to stay in Washington! Or how you've got such a great life, free to have all the other flavors plus me on the weekends!' It never stops! And the next thing you know some smart ass Lieutenant is remarking about how women are too emotional for command, especially married women! That "their minds are always somewhere else," not on the mission! Even Cam makes little snide remarks and he's my CO! And then I find out there's a pool! A goddamn pool, Jack, on if and when I'll get pregnant! It just goes on and on! Landry doesn't seem to respect me, not to mention that Mitchell is leading SG1 even though he has no experience and I'm expected to just follow any idiotic decisions he makes! I'm the official repairman for the SGC! Just tag along, fix the gate and keep my mouth shut!"

Jack laid his fork on his plate and took a sip of coffee, gathering calm, adjusting his response and then looked back at her, seemingly unaffected by her ranting.

"When did all this happen, Sam? Why haven't you said anything before now?" '_Good_' he thought. '_The calm, efficient commander, not the bad ass lunatic commando_.'

"Because…you're in Washington, Jack!"

"No shouting, Sam. Remember? And I call you every night."

"I'm sorry. I know; I'm just so frustrated!" She fisted her hands above her head and started pacing across the room.

"I can see that. We can fix some of this…or you can."

"How?"

"You're an officer, Sam, you've earned that respect and you're entitled to it. Don't let them get away with it, if you hear that bullshit call them on it! God! You always have in the past, why not now?"

"I'm beginning to think that was your influence, Jack and I never had that respect to begin with. Maybe it was always you and I was just sharing in it."

"I don't believe that, Carter!" Jack didn't like the sound of that reasoning; he didn't like it at all. "You've always been a strong command, your tactics are dead on and you're smarter than anyone else out there! You're just…nervous or something."

"Right! Because…?"

"I don't know!"

"You see? It could be any of those things. Maybe I _am_ emotional, maybe my hormones _are_ going crazy but then again, maybe I just don't have the abilities I thought I had. And if I fail, it's because I'm a woman, too emotional for the job; if I don't it's because I married a general! I can't win this game and there's no way out of it."

"Sam, I haven't said anything! And certainly nothing like that! You've let them shake your confidence…that's all!"

Sam was very quiet for a few minutes, when she looked up at him again she was calm and she locked onto his concerned gaze.

"What if they're right, Jack?"

"What?" '_She's confusing me on purpose now'_, he thought, as he stared back at her, totally lost. She was calm and controlled, her eyes laced with steely determination as he spoke again. "No."

"It's possible, Jack. I have to find out."

"How? How are you going to find that out?" He asked the question and almost immediately knew the answer, squeezing his eyes shut against the heartbreak that washed over him. She was smart, she had tricked him, led him to her own conclusion and it was too late, too late to go back now. "By leaving me."

When she didn't answer, he finally looked up at her, dreading what he would see in her eyes.

"It's only temporary, Jack, like Washington. And we can still see each other…."

He cut her off. His anger was flaring again and despite the dominating calm in his voice, he was close to losing control.

"So let me get this straight, Sam. Being my wife is having a detrimental affect on your career, making you unable to perform your duty as an officer and commander but being my girlfriend and lover _won't_?"

She pressed her lips together, unsure of how to answer. "Not if we keep it quiet. I know it sounds crazy, Jack, but…"

"Sounds crazy? _Sounds crazy_? It doesn't just sound crazy, Sam; it is crazy! Shouldn't our being together make us both stronger? And sneaking around to see my own wife?" He shook his head and continued. "I thought that was part of the reason we got married, so that we didn't have to do that! I've never asked you to give up your career and I never will. It's part of you. I understand that!"

"I know, Jack." Her voice was low and controlled. She realized she wasn't going to be able to make him understand and a regretful resignation slipped into her voice. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm not explaining this very well."

"No, I guess not."

"You have to let me do this, Jack."

He searched her eyes hoping to find the love and happiness he'd grown accustomed to seeing there but finding only an unsettling determination laced with sadness.

"Are you positive that I have to do that? Because my gut says it's wrong. We aren't competing against each other, Sam we're a team. And there's no shame in that. We can and we _should_ do this together."

He rubbed a hand across his forehead, trying to drive away the nagging headache that was getting worse by the minute.

"Jack, please, trust me enough to do this. I need to know for sure and then I can make a decision."

Her eyes were pleading, silently begging him for a chance. She watched him. She needed to do this, but she didn't want to lose Jack either. There was no easy solution. He wasn't moving, he was completely still and that worried her, Jack was never still.

"I thought you'd already made that decision. I guess I was wrong."

He stood up and walked out of the room, leaving her behind to watch as he slipped on his jacket and walked out the front door.

Jack sat in the car for a few minutes, his heart pounding in his chest until finally he started it up and drove away. He wandered around town for an hour thinking over their conversation. His head hurt and he was nauseous but somewhere deep inside, he knew it wasn't the concussion. She was blaming him for everything in one breath and saying it wasn't his fault in the next. She didn't want to be his wife, but it was ok to be his lover. No wonder his head hurt. Jack was starting to wish he'd fallen in love with someone else, someone less smart, less challenging but then…she wouldn't be Sam.

He drove to O'Malley's and drank steadily for two hours. It didn't even seem to touch the pain. He'd come to Colorado intent on fighting for her. All he had to do now was figure out how. His mind worked on the problem as he sipped on another beer but he wasn't getting anywhere. He was still angry and suddenly his world wasn't such a happy place anymore. He'd taken emergency leave to come home and spend time with her, straighten things out and now he was sitting in a bar alone, getting bombed. And where was Sam? Probably at the base by now, working on some super project that only she could understand and dodging the rumors that were tearing his world apart.

Another hour of drinking and numerous scenarios and Jack still had no solution. Finally abandoning his search in favor of oblivion, he was alternating between chuckling at his beer and slipping into a mood so dark that he would be invisible in the night.

"Hey, Jack!"

"Thomas! How are you?"

Jack looked up and tried to smile, he started to stand but Thomas waived his hand, indicating for him to stay where he was.

"Everything ok, Jack?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Joe says you've been here for hours. Where's that pretty blond that was with you last time? Carter, was that her name?"

"Yeah. I married her."

"You did? Well, congratulations Jack! That's terrific!"

"Thanks. I thought so, too but…."

"Ah!" Thomas smiled knowingly. "Woman trouble, huh, that explains it! Have a fight?"

"Sort of."

"Well, what are you doing here? Get you sorry carcass up and go after her! She's in love with you, Jack, unless this old Irishman has suddenly gone blind and crazy!"

"Yeah, maybe I should do that." Jack started to stand and staggered slightly as he started to walk.

"Whoa! Whoa! Wait a second, Jack. Let me get you a cab, I don't think you should be driving."

"I'm ok, Thomas!"

"Sorry, Jack, can't let you do it. I'd never forgive myself. Have a seat."

Jack knew he was right; he shouldn't drive, so he slid back into the booth. A few minutes later there was a pot of coffee on the table and Thomas poured the first cup.

"Drink up, my friend, I'll be back."

Jack was just finishing his third cup of coffee when he felt her fingers on his shoulder. He caught them and pulled them to his lips without looking up. He didn't need to look up to know that it was Sam.

"That's going to get you in trouble someday, Jack."

"Not a chance, baby." He grinned up at her as he tugged her into the booth beside him and raised his hand to get the waitress' attention. "I'd know you anywhere."

"Right!" She laughed and his smile brightened. "How'd you know I was here?"

"I heard you."

"What? How? I didn't even say…" She turned to look at him and he was grinning. As she held his gaze realization dawned on her. Her footsteps. He'd heard her footsteps.

Jack smiled broader as he saw her expression change and knew that she understood.

"You do it, too, Sam."

"No, I can't, Jack…"

"You can, you just…don't. Not when you're…home, but in the field you always knew where the rest of us were. You listened. You recognized each one of us but when you're here you…turn it off or something. I don't."

Sam stared at him for a moment. "Never?"

"Hardly ever. It's an old habit, kept me alive on more than one occasion."

"Yeah, I know."

"So have you."

"What?"

"Kept me alive…more than once. I've been thinking about all the times you took command and dragged me half-dead back to the gate. You've fought enemies most folks haven't even dreamed of…and you're good at it, Sam. I can't believe someone or something has convinced you you're not."

"I told you it was hard to explain."

"Maybe it's just an excuse."

She brought her eyes up to meet his and held them locked in her gaze as she slowly shook her head. "I don't understand. What do you mean?"

"Maybe, it really isn't all those other things. Maybe it's me…us. Maybe we rushed all of this and you're feeling…I don't know…trapped."

"That's not it, Jack. It's not about you."

"But the solution is?"

Her eyes grew wide as she stared at him. She should have known he'd take the blame, maybe she had and that's why she hadn't wanted him to come home.

"I love you, Jack and I know that you love me. I'm counting on it, in fact. I just need to find the answers on my own this time – I need you to trust me, please."

"I trust you, Sam. I just don't agree with your solution. I think you're wrong this time…as hard as that may be for you to accept." He paused, watching her consider his words. "What's up with Mitchell?"

"He's a loose cannon. Rash decisions, smart mouth, loud and sometimes obnoxious. He's taking too many chances with all of us."

"Remind you of anyone?" Jack chuckled as he spun his beer in his hand.

"No. It isn't the same at all. It feels out of control, Jack and there are still some really bad guys out there. I don't feel safe anymore."

"Did you ever?"

"When you were…" She paused mid-sentence as she reminded herself of her own weakness. She had felt safe with Jack on SG1, but everything had changed when he was promoted. "It's just all different now. And Cam is inexperienced, he scares me."

"So, it's all professional concern then, nothing else?"

Sam looked into his eyes, her own moving rapidly back and forth as they searched his features. "I'm not even going to answer that, Jack!"

He held her locked with his eyes a moment longer before he looked down, "Ok, then, I should do some checking, talk to Hank…."

"No! Jack, you promised."

"Yes, I did but if he's putting the teams in unnecessary danger I have an obligation to check it out and not just for your sake, although that's more than enough…"

"I can handle it, Jack. Don't do anything; let me try to work it out first. I shouldn't even be talking to you about this!"

"I guess that depends on who you're talking to, Sam, your husband or General O'Neill."

She looked up into his intense brown eyes. His stare was calm but penetrating, he was watching her too closely and he knew her too well.

"I guess I'm having a little trouble separating the two."

"Yeah, I noticed. Look…" His cell phone buzzed in his pocket and Sam saw a small grimace flash across his face as he automatically reached for it. "O'Neill."

Sam's mind drifted away as Jack talked on the phone, she was only catching a word now and then, but it didn't matter. She already knew the reason for the call. Jack's demeanor told her it was someone higher up and she'd listened just long enough to determine that they needed him back in Washington.

"Yes, Sir. I understand…"

Sam looked up at him and he tried to smile.

"Yes, Sir, I'll do that. Thank you."

He snapped the phone shut and looked back at her, his face was calm but there was a new coldness in his eyes.

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, peachy."

She waited for him to say something more but his lips were pressed tightly together and the coldness in his eyes had spread over his face.

"You sure, Jack?"

"Just business, Sam, don't worry about it."

'_Right_,' she thought. _'I'm married to the head of Homeworld Security. Crisis is the standard mode of operation.'_ There was no point in pressing him for an answer; she knew he wouldn't, _couldn't_ tell her.

"So when do you leave?"

"I don't know, yet, a few days maybe…or a few hours. They'll call again if things change."

"Let's go home, Jack. You aren't solving anything here."

"No. The car's outside."

"We can get it later or Daniel and Teal'c will help get it home."

"Uh, no, I might need it before morning. I'll just stay a while longer, you go ahead." He was pouring another cup of coffee and avoiding her eyes, his mind was obviously far away. "I don't want to keep you away from whatever…"

"Maybe I'll stay, too."

"You don't have to do that. I'm fine."

"I know. I'm really sorry, Jack. I've done such a bad job of this, I wish I could make you understand…"

He didn't even look up so she stopped talking and they sat there side by side, shoulders touching but worlds apart.

Jack's mood didn't improve even though they stayed and ordered dinner. They ate in almost total silence with just a sprinkling of casual conversation. He wasn't even really hungry but he knew she must be and that he'd need the energy if they called him back during the night. So he ate. And tried to smile. When he ran out of excuses to stay, he paid the check and they left, each in their own cars, driving towards home.

He took his time, driving slowly, carefully, dragging out the time it took to get there. '_God_!' He thought, _'I never thought I'd see the day I dreaded going home with Sam.'_ He shook his head and kept driving, watching the lights of her car pulling further and further away and as they disappeared, he realized he wasn't going to stop her - he had to let her go.

TBC -

* * *

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	6. Agreement

_Thanks for all your responses. Hope you enjoy this chapter_

**Previously** - '_God_!' He thought, _'I never thought I'd see the day I dreaded going home with Sam.'_ He shook his head and kept driving, watching the lights of her car pulling further and further away and as they disappeared, he realized he wasn't going to stop her, he had to let her go.

**Convolutions**

**Chapter 6. Agreement**

It was Monday morning and Jack was still sleeping. He rolled over, unconsciously reaching for Sam, needing to feel her against him, longing for her, even in sleep. When his arm came to rest on the empty space beside him his eyes opened and he stared into the darkness.

"Sam?"

He opened his mouth wide preparing to call out to her, but stopped short. As his mind came fully awake so did his memory and his shoulders slumped a bit in resignation, she was down the hall, in the guest room.

He lifted his muscular frame from the bed and walked silently across the room and into the hall. Pushing open the door, he admired her sleeping form sprawled carelessly along the length of the bed. Peaceful and beautiful, she slept in almost the same position he'd found her three days ago, one leg dangling free of the covers and her hair tickling her face. He leaned against the doorframe and watched her, already regretting giving in to her, but convinced it was either that or lose her completely. So he had agreed, in theory at least, to go along with her, to give her what she wanted. They would separate. And as far as the world was concerned, she would be free but he knew his heart would never let go.

Jack crossed the room silently and ran one finger lightly along her arm. She turned towards him without waking and he stood there a long moment just looking at her before he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against her cheek. She mumbled his name and a small smile tugged at her lips as his hand stilled her movements. He didn't want to wake her; he wanted her to sleep because while she slept, she still loved him. He allowed himself a few more moments of watching her and then walked away to prepare for the rest of his life.

He showered and dressed quickly then began to repack the small bag he'd brought with him. He was just zipping it closed when he heard Sam approaching quietly behind him. Taking in a deep breath, he turned to face her.

"Hey!"

She was smiling, her hair tousled from sleep and she seemed small, almost nervous as she approached him.

"Hey."

"Are you…leaving?"

"Uh, yeah. Washington called and you…don't really want me here."

"Jack, I thought we agreed…"

"I agreed…I didn't say I'd be happy about it." His voice was harsh even though he tried to maintain an even tone.

"It's only temporary, Jack, I promise. Let me work this out so and then we can figure out what to do…how to be really happy."

Jack drew his lips back quickly in a tight grimace.

"Yeah, I want you to be happy." Memories of her days with Pete flashed across his mind in brilliant Technicolor and he quickly pushed away the thoughts of torturous days ahead. "That's why I'm leaving. Well, I better get going. I've got a few things to take care of before I leave."

"Are you going to the SGC?"

"Yeah, I have to see Doc before I leave, tie up a few loose ends, meet with Landry…." He waved his hand in the air as he spoke.

"I'll drive you."

"No, thanks, I've got the rental. I'll have to be at Peterson later and you'll be…busy."

He was struggling for control, forcing himself to be calm and emotionless.

"When do you leave?"

"Anytime I want. I'm a general, remember?" The sarcasm was heavy in his voice and Sam flinched knowing he was using it as a front. "They'll have a jet ready whenever I'm ready."

She nodded her head up and down quickly as she kept her eyes locked with his. "Ok, see you on base then."

He slipped on the jacket of his dress blues and she stepped into his space brushing her hands across his shoulders and tugging gently at his tie. She lifted a hand to his cheek and caressed it softly, lovingly as she leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips. His arms came around her and he pulled her close, pressing his lips against hers in a gentle, deep kiss, drinking in her essence and knowing it might be the last time he held her. Suddenly he pulled away and stepped back, his tongue tracing his lips while she stared into dark eyes that were holding her immobile.

"I love you, Sam. I always will."

He watched as her eyes darted across his face, their movement almost frantic as she watched him and he could see that she was suddenly unsettled and unsure. Sam opened her mouth to speak and he waited, hoping but she only shook her head slightly as tears welled up in her eyes. His hand caressed her cheek tenderly and then he moved to pick up his bag and walked quickly past her towards the front door. She followed him, dabbing at her eyes and trying to swallow the tears that were threatening to fall.

He opened the door and glanced down at the table to pick up his keys when his eyes caught sight of the papers he had hastily stuffed into the pocket of his bag as he was leaving Washington. He set the bag on the floor and retrieved the crumpled papers. He studied them for a moment, skimming over the words before turning back to her. He was hurt, but he was also angry.

"Do what you have to, Sam, find your way again, but don't expect me to sign these." His frustration overwhelmed him suddenly and he flung the papers at the table as if they were burning his hands. "And don't expect me to wait forever."

He set his jaw and his eyes were as cold as a frozen wasteland as they drilled into her, enforcing those final words. Then he pulled on his hat, setting it low on his forehead, picked up his keys and walked out, closing the door softly behind him. She didn't hear him cursing softly as he crossed the snow kissed lawn.

Sam stood frozen for a moment then reached out to pull the curtain away from the narrow window beside the door. She watched him toss his bag in the car, get in and back out of the driveway. As he disappeared down the street she leaned against the frame and whispered, "I love you, Jack."

**Two hours later at the SGC –**

"So, Doc, what's the verdict?"

Jack was buttoning his shirt as he smiled at Dr. Summers.

"Well, General. You're in remarkable health! Maybe, I should be asking what your secret is. These results could be those of any healthy 35-year-old! Do you have any complaints?"

"No, I'm fine. Head still aches a bit, but other than that, I'm ok."

"Well, the headaches should disappear over the next few days. How about your knees?" She was reading as she spoke to him. "It says here you've had several surgeries and on-going problems with them in the past. Have they improved since your change in assignment?"

Jack was chuckling under his breath as he slipped his jacket on.

"I skinned them up a bit when I fell, but just between you and me, Doc, they're fine."

Dr. Summers squinted her eyes as she looked up at him. "They're fine? I don't think I understand, Sir. You should…"

Jack gave her a look of frustration tinged with amusement, the one he used on Daniel when he just refused to see things Jack's way.

"Doc, my knees are fine. There's nothing wrong with them, see?" Jack did several quick deep knee bends without a hitch and the doctor's mouth dropped open. "Might be best if you didn't put that in the chart though." He smiled broadly at her.

Her eyes were wide and she dropped the chart down to her side, staring at him in disbelief. "But, General…"

"Doc, it's just something we have to do. Doc Frazier started it. She was sort of protecting me from the outside world, helping me look normal. You know about Baal, right?" Dr. Summers shook her head as he watched her. "Well, I haven't had any problems since then. Seems the bastard did me a favor after all but we don't exactly advertise it. That's the reason I still come here for my physicals, so it's our little secret, ok?"

"I understand, Sir."

"So all you have to do is tell me the truth and then write down," he pointed to his chart, "what everyone else expects to see for someone my age and history. Keeps the brass happy and keeps the bad guys wondering."

He smiled at her warmly as he saw real understanding flicker in her eyes.

"Yes, sir. So you really are fine then and my tests aren't wrong."

"No, Doc. Your tests are bang on, I'm sure."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it, Sir. I like my patients to be healthy. So, this means that I'm your physician of record and if something happens to you, they'll send you back here?"

"Or they'll send for you, but with any luck you won't see me again for a year, at least not as a patient! The Pentagon is dangerous, but not in a physical way. Nothing like gate travel."

Dr. Summers smiled and sent him on his way assuring him that his secret was safe and she'd make the proper notations. But a sudden thought occurred to her and she ran to catch him before he stepped into the elevator.

"Sir?"

Jack stopped and turned to her with a questioning gaze as she looked over her shoulder and around the hallway to make sure they were alone.

"Sir, does Colonel Carter know?"

Jack dropped his eyes to the floor and then smiled up at her devilishly, "No, not exactly. And let's keep it that way for now."

She nodded her head and walked back towards the infirmary as Jack waited for the elevator, smiling as he considered that Sam actually should have questioned his health, but never had. Oh, he'd continued to complain about his knees and go on about getting old but she'd been around him enough to know differently, maybe, he realized, she'd didn't care enough to notice. His shoulders sagged a bit as he continued telling himself that he'd been a fool, a blind fool and maybe she'd never really cared at all.

"Everything all right, Sir?"

Jack looked up to see a young airman staring at him with concern and realized he'd stopped dead still and was just standing there, immobile in front of the open elevator doors.

"Yeah, fine, Airman. Just peachy."

He smiled and stepped inside the car, pressing the button that would take him to the floor that housed Landry's office. It was time to get this meeting over with and get back to Washington, before he lost it. When the doors opened again, he squared his shoulders and stomped off down the hallway, making sure that his attitude and determination made him completely unapproachable.

"Come!"

"Hello, Hank."

"General! I heard you were here. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Just wanted to check in before I left and see if there's anything you need."

"Well, more funding would be nice! Other than that, I think things are going ok. Is there something on your mind, Jack?"

"How's Mitchell doing?"

"Still a bit unsteady, but he'll get there."

"You mean if he doesn't kill his team first?"

Jack's eyes were cold and slightly threatening as Hank furrowed his brow at their silent implication.

"Well, no, I didn't mean _that_. He just needs a bit more experience – a little more time to get up to speed. He'll be fine and he's got the experience of SG1 backing him up."

"You need to be sure about that, Hank. It can get pretty hairy out there when you least expect it. He's in command, he has to be ready for anything."

"I understand that, Jack. I've been sending them on a lot of diplomatic missions, taking it one step at a time until he can really get his feet under him. Have you had complaints?"

"No, no, just wanted to see how he was adapting. It's a totally different assignment for him, plus it's hard to judge his progress from just the reports, but I have every confidence in your judgment."

"Glad to hear it. I know he's new at this but I really think he'll be ok with Colonel Car…" His voice trailed off and he met Jack's eyes with an unasked question.

"No, Hank. She didn't say anything. I'm just doing my job. I'm leaving for Washington in a few hours so if you have anything to say, now's your chance."

The warm smile in Jack's eyes relaxed him and he smiled back at his old friend who was now also his commanding officer.

"Ok, Jack."

They discussed all the teams and their assignments for the next hour or so and Jack was reassured that Hank really did have a handle on things. He knew there was some unrest on SG1, but he didn't quite know the nature of it. He was trying to let it work itself out and Jack agreed with him. The other teams were doing well, although there had been casualties, not as many as there had been earlier in the program. Jack promised to try for more funding and stood to leave, shaking Hank's hand and then clapping him on the shoulder affectionately. He had reached the door when Hank called out to him.

"Try not to worry too much, Jack. I'm doing everything I can to protect her….to protect all of them."

"I know you are, Hank. Thanks."

Jack stepped through the door and ran head long into a preoccupied Daniel.

"Daniel!"

"Jack! Sorry, I was just reading…"

"Yes, I see that. Want to get some lunch?"

"Well, sure Jack. Are you meeting Sam?"

"Uh, don't know. She had some work to do in her lab."

They were walking in the hallway with Daniel still staring at the text in his hands.

"Oh, well, what are you doing here then?"

"Just checking in, I'm leaving later today."

"Oh! I didn't know you'd be going back so soon." Daniel closed his book, turning all his attention to Jack. "I was hoping you'd be staying a while, Sam really misses you."

Jack turned to look at Daniel as they walked.

"What makes you say that, Daniel? Isn't she staying busy? I mean between you going off world and her research, I wouldn't think she'd even notice."

"Yeah, well that's one reason it took you so long to marry her, Jack," Daniel chuckled at Jack's comment, "she misses you, trust me. Are you two ever going to stop playing this game and just admit you need each other? Come on, let's go get her to join us for lunch."

Daniel stopped as he encountered the strange look in Jack's eyes. It was an unfamiliar sadness, almost regret.

"No, better not. She said she'd be really busy today. Maybe I'll stop by later."

They were sitting down at the table before Daniel spoke again, grinning broadly as he watched Jack set a container of blue jell-o onto the table beside his red one. He chuckled aloud as Jack met his eyes, "Just like old times, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"I thought you said Sam wasn't joining us?"

"She's not."

Daniel smirked and nodded at the dessert still in Jack's hand.

"Damn! Old habits die hard, I guess."

"Jack, what are you guys fighting about?"

"Nothing, Daniel."

"Yeah? Well, sometimes those are the worst kind. Is it really 'nothing' or is it that you don't know?"

"Daniel, I'd rather not…"

"I just can't believe that after all the years you've waited, all you've been through…it just has to be something silly."

Jack flashed a heated warning glance, but Daniel being Daniel, either didn't notice or chose to ignore it.

"I mean you already know each other so well, you've both seen the good, the bad and the ugly long ago…you're not even really living together, so what…." Daniel froze as he stared at Jack. "Forget I said that. She misses you, Jack and she needs you, no matter what she said."

"I tried, Daniel."

"So that's it? You tried. End of story?"

"No! At least, I hope not. It's out of my hands, Sam's calling the shots."

"Jack! Come on!"

His voice was softer now, he'd seen the pain in Jack's eyes and he recognized it for what it was, a deep, intense sadness.

"It's a long story, Daniel."

"Jack, you know I'm your friend. I just want to see you guys happy and that offer to help still stands."

"Thanks, Daniel."

Jack focused on his plate and on _not_ looking at Daniel, he didn't want him to see the emotion that was welling up inside as he thought of losing Sam again. His mind reeled and spots flashed in front of his eyes as he struggled to reinstate his military stoicism. Slowly, the general took control again and he began to eat with a vengeance, swallowing his emotions as Daniel watched, growing more and more worried, as his friend disappeared into the hardened soldier.

When they'd finished, Jack picked up the untouched blue jell-o and walked back to the food line picking up a chicken sandwich. Then he met Daniel at the door and without a word they started down the hallway towards Sam's lab.

"Is she doing this often, Daniel?"

"Huh? What?"

"Skipping meals. Working all hours."

"Oh, well, sometimes I guess. You know Sam."

"She'll work herself sick if no one stops her you know. Don't let her do that, ok?"

"Sure! No, of course not, Jack. I'll try to watch her a bit closer."

"I'd appreciate that." Jack pushed open the lab door and Sam didn't even flinch. She was staring at the computer screen but her mind was obviously miles away. "Are we disturbing you, Colonel?"

Daniel threw a confused look at Jack as he addressed Sam so formally. Sam jumped just slightly and stood, just as she would for any general that entered her lab.

"Uh, no, Sir. Sorry, I was busy, I didn't hear you come in."

"Skipped lunch again?"

Sam lifted her arm to glare at her watch. "Uh, yes, Sir, I supposed I did. I was working I didn't realize..."

"Yes, well, I brought you this. I thought you might be hungry."

He smiled and his eyes were like warm chocolate that she wanted to melt into. He held out the sandwich and she took the plate, grazing his fingers as she took it and set it on her desk.

"Jack…"

"I just came to bring your lunch, Sam and to say goodbye. I'm leaving for Peterson."

"Oh."

She looked away then, avoiding his eyes and Daniel began to fidget nervously.

He'd never been uncomfortable around them before. They'd spent so much time together he didn't think it was possible, but he suddenly wanted to run away as fast as his legs would carry him. In the space of that thought, Jack had closed the distance between himself and Sam and was pulling her into his arms. In another heartbeat he was kissing her. Daniel wanted to look away but his eyes seemed locked on them, he knew they were married but it still sent a warning signal to his brain. He'd spent a lot of years watching them tease each other only to pull back to avoid breaking the regulations or getting too close and this was something he just wasn't used to yet. He dropped his eyes to the floor and looked back again with a soft blush accenting the smile on his face.

Jack was pulling her closer and letting his hands wander low on her back as Daniel watched. He saw Sam stiffen but then almost melt into Jack, becoming a part of him as their bodies pressed against each other and they became almost indistinguishable. He saw her arms slip around Jack's shoulders and press down against the dark blue of his uniform, gently tugging him closer. He saw Jack's smile as he kissed her and he smiled too sharing in their momentary embrace. If they weren't in love, he couldn't imagine who was. Jack was nibbling at her face, biting and pulling, then pressing back against her with such passion that Daniel turned away feeling that he was intruding on something exceptionally intimate. His hand was turning the doorknob when he heard Jack's voice call out to him.

"Hold up, Daniel."

Daniel stopped and turned back to them slowly. They were staring into each other's eyes intensely, still wrapped in each other's arms as if they were memorizing each other's face. Jack spoke again but his voice was softer this time, almost a whisper as he spoke to Sam.

"I have to go. I just wanted to say goodbye."

She nodded her head and then pulled her eyes away from his, slowly releasing her hold on him. Jack's hands slid down her arms until he captured her hands and squeezed them tight.

"Do what you need to do, Sam."

She nodded again and Daniel thought he saw tears filling her eyes but Jack shifted their bodies slightly, completely eclipsing Sam and limiting his view to Jack's back. He saw Jack lift her hand to his lips but he didn't see him mouth the words 'I love you.' Daniel suddenly felt a bit of sadness envelope him as he realized this wasn't just goodbye…it was goodbye, as if Jack wasn't coming back.

In one sudden movement Jack was beside him and pushing him out the door as if the Goa'uld were hot on their tails and he didn't slow down until he reached the elevators. When the doors had closed, sealing them inside, Daniel turned to Jack.

"Jack?"

"You've seen me kiss her before, Daniel, don't act so stunned."

"Well, yeah, but it still surprises me. Besides it was more than that, Jack…that was…that was _goodbye_."

"Yes, Daniel, I'm leaving."

"Right, but it's only temporary, you're coming back, right? I mean that kiss…well, it looked final, like you're really leaving…forever. That's not true, is it, Jack?"

Jack stepped out of the elevator and onto the hard surfaced roadway. He lifted his sunglasses to his face and signaled to one of the airmen guarding the entrance, then he looked back at Daniel.

"I hope not."

A car pulled up beside Jack and as he reached for the door, Daniel grabbed his arm forcing him to look up.

"Jack! It can't be that serious, what's going on?"

Jack took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders looking off into the distance as he spoke.

"I don't know, Danny, I think maybe she didn't fall as head over heels as I'd hoped. Keep an eye on her, ok?"

Then a sad smile crossed his lips and he shrugged just slightly as he stepped into the car and it pulled away leaving Cheyenne Mountain and Sam behind.

TBC-


	7. Escalation

Thanks to all of you who have taken the time to review and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

_Previously -_

"_I don't know, Danny, I think maybe she didn't fall as head over heels as I'd hoped. Keep an eye on her, ok?" _

_Then a sad smile crossed his lips and he shrugged just slightly as he stepped into the car and it pulled away leaving Cheyenne Mountain and Sam behind. _

...and now on with the story.

**Convolutions**

**Chapter 7. Escalation**

Jack gave a brief tug at his jacket and straightened his tie just before opening the door and entering the oval office.

"Jack! Come in! Come in!"

He put on a warm smile as he crossed the room confidently and grasped the extended hand of his commander and chief in a firm handshake.

"Good morning, Mr. President. How are you, Sir?"

"I'm good, Jack. I'll be even better when you tell me you've found a way to solve this little problem of ours."

"Not yet, Sir, but we're getting there. We have the subject under surveillance and we're watching the situation closely. It's too early to take any action yet. It's just too risky, Sir."

"So you know where he is, Jack? You know for sure?"

"As sure as I can be without being there myself, Sir."

"How much longer until we know for sure?"

"That's hard to say, Sir. A few days, it could be as much as a few weeks."

"Let's make it a few days, shall we Jack. I don't want this to drag on forever."

"Yes, Sir."

A few minutes later Jack was stepping out into the sunshine of a cold Washington morning. He stepped into the car and waited as the driver climbed in behind the wheel.

"Where to, Sir?"

"Back to work, Mason, business as usual."

"Yes, Sir! Next stop the Pentagon. 3,705,793 square feet of office space, one of which belongs to you, Sir!"

Jack smiled as he listened to the young sergeant begin a light-hearted rant about their destination. It was something he did on occasion and Jack had come to enjoy it, smiling behind his sunglasses and allowing himself to be momentarily distracted as he concentrated on the tourist-guide tone of his driver and absent-mindedly twisted the ring on his left hand.

"Approximately 23,000 employees occupy said building along with their 4,200 clocks. They drink from 691 water fountains, consume 4,500 cups of coffee, 1,700 pints of milk and 6,800 soft drinks after which they immediately utilize the 284 available rest rooms."

Jack chuckled softly as he listened to the young man spilling out facts and numbers.

"Tom, where do you get this information?"

"Oh, here and there, Sir!"

"Well, with all that liquid consumption I guess it's good we have…how many rest rooms did you say?"

"Two hundred eighty-four, General."

"And 23,000 employees?"

"Yes, Sir." The driver was smiling broadly, enjoying the relaxed banter with the General.

"Well, that's a viable reason for staggered breaks! And just how far does one have to travel to reach these numerous facilities, Sergeant?"

"That's very interesting, General. Even though there are 17.5 miles of corridors the design of said building allows you to reach any point within its' walls in seven minutes."

"Seven minutes? Hmph! I'll have to remember that." Jack glanced out the window as they pulled up to the entrance and reaching forward patted his driver on the shoulder. "Thanks, Tom. Dr. Jackson would be proud of you!"

"Dr. Jackson, Sir?"

"Just an old friend of mine. Likes to dig around in ruins, collects rocks and ancient stuff. Loves anything even vaguely historical!"

"Oh, yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir."

"So how long to get to my office from here?"

"Four minutes, tops, Sir, maybe less with your stride."

"Thanks for the ride, Tom."

Tom flashed a full-tooth smile and Jack patted his shoulder briskly as he stepped out of the car and disappeared inside the confines of the Pentagon Building.

Four minutes later he was sitting behind his desk, sipping his first cup of coffee and occasionally glancing at Sergeant Kathy Andrews as she briefed him on the day's appointments.

"Is that it, Sergeant?"

"Yes, Sir, for now. There's always last minute changes you know."

"Yes, well better leave that battle plan with me." Jack reached out and she placed the copy in his hand. "First meeting in…."

"Thirty minutes, Sir."

"Thank you, Sergeant."

The Sergeant returned to her desk, closing the door behind her and Jack picked up the top folder, scanning the contents for the information he would need in the next meeting. When he'd finished the folder, he turned to his computer and typed in his security code bringing up the files on the latest threat, Abdul Kassem.

Jack breathed out a deep sigh as his computer screen displayed the information he was seeking. Kassem had not moved from his known location, he was holed up behind his massed forces, probably planning his next attack. Jack was waiting, too. He was waiting for him to relocate, to make a mistake, waiting to neutralize the threat he posed to the country and the world at large.

Jack's relief was short lived as he continued to view the files. More bombings in Iraq, a terrorist car bombing in London, subway explosions in Paris and threats were now becoming apparent in South America. There were reports of heightened concerns in New York City and Los Angeles, as well as Seattle; the list seemed to go on and on. Jack had just pulled up the page on the SGC when Sergeant Andrews spoke through the intercom.

"Excuse me, Sir, but it's time for your meeting."

Jack scrubbed one hand along his frowning face and then pressed the button on his phone, acknowledging her message. He typed in the code to lock his computer and stood from his chair. Watching as the computer screen blanked, he buttoned his jacket and exited the room. Glancing at his watch as he entered the outer office and noting thatthe time was almost 15 minutes before the scheduled meeting time. Attempting to lighten his own mood, he couldn't resist teasing his assistant.

"A little early isn't it, Sergeant?"

"No, Sir. You'll need the time to get to your meeting."

"Yes, of course, but I can be anywhere in this building in seven minutes, Sergeant."

The young woman stared back at him, surprised at this comment and unsure of what to add.

"It's all right, Andrews. I don't like to be late." Then he turned on a warm smile and strode from the room.

Andrews waited until she was sure that General O'Neill was out of earshot and then picked up her phone. Curiosity getting the best of her, she dialed the information office of the Pentagon.

"This is Sergeant Andrews. What is the walking time from General O'Neill's office to the most distant point in the building?"

The clerk that sat across from her was also curious and listening in on the conversation.

"Really? Any point. Seven minutes. Yes, thank you, that's very helpful." Andrews placed the phone back in its cradle and shook her head grinning at the clerk. "How the hell does he know all this stuff?"

The clerk smiled and shrugged her shoulder, "He's a general!"

Down the hallway, Jack O'Neill was moving quickly away, eating up the hallway with his long strides and grinning broadly at his small victory.

An hour later he was back in his office, attacking the work on his desk. He began with all the mundane tasks that he knew could be dispatched quickly and when those were completed, he focused his attention on the computer. He was searching through personnel files and on the notepad in front of him was a hastily scrawled list of names, candidates for the team he was selecting to aid in the pursuit and/or capture of Kassem.

It would be a dangerous mission and the list was short. Most of his people were already in place and he couldn't pull them off their current assignments but this job was special and required a specific personality and training, training that Jack was all too familiar with. They must be experienced; proven in their dependability, adaptability and unquestioning loyalty.

The team he chose must have a record of getting the job done regardless of circumstances and be willing to sacrifice their own lives to accomplish the mission. They would need confidence, inner strength, resourcefulness and the ability to think and act quickly in dangerous situations. They must work together as a concise unit, melding themselves into one individual, almost reading each other's thoughts and trusting each other completely, without a second thought or the slightest hesitation. They must be willing to walk straight into hell with only his order as motivation, get the job done and get out. Rubbing his tired hand across his face, Jack sighed audibly, getting out was obviously the hard part. Many of the candidates on his list could get the job done but if they were captured, the situation would only worsen.

Jack tossed his pen onto the desk in frustration and rubbed both hands across his tired features as a recurring thought penetrated his mind. The team he needed was SG-1. Suddenly he stood and extended his arms towards the ceiling, stretching his long frame to relieve the hours of stress and immobility. Then he turned to gaze out his window seeking the comfort of the sunny fall day and was met instead with the twinkling lights of the city, sparkling brightly in an already darkened landscape.

"Crap!"

He turned again and pressed the intercom, dismissing Andrews for the day. It hadn't taken long for him to realize that she would not leave until he did. She would remain quietly outside his door, on the assumption that if he was working, she might be needed. She was loyal and smart and Jack had come to like and respect her.

He stood for a moment allowing his eyes to rest on the photo on his desk. Sam was smiling back at him, her penetrating blue eyes twinkling behind the glass. He missed her. And then just like every other night, he lifted the phone and dialed, knowing that she wasn't home and that she wouldn't answer, he waited for the machine to pick up. It didn't matter, he wanted to hear her voice. The ringing stopped and the machine kicked in, her voice filled his head and he closed his eyes as he listened to the familiar message, waiting for the beep before he began. "Hey, baby, it's me…"

Most of the days since his return from Colorado had passed in a similar manner with Jack working long hours and honing his plan to catch Kassem. When he did make it to his apartment he would fall into an exhausted sleep and often be awakened in a few hours to be advised of a changing situation that required him to return to the Pentagon. He was tired and stressed, but he still managed to call Sam every night leaving a message on the machine at home. She hadn't returned his calls. After the first week, he'd sent flowers but still received no response. It had been over two weeks now and her silence was eating at him, threatening to rip his confidence apart.

He'd only spoken to her once since his return and she'd been extremely rushed, preparing for an off world mission. He could hear the tension in her voice and it worried him, but he tried to hide it, telling her instead that he had every confidence in her and that he'd talk to her when she returned. That conversation had been almost as painful as the last one in Colorado; twisting his heart in ways he'd never suspected possible. But she hadn't called when she returned and he hadn't called the base. He knew she was safe. The daily reports from the mountain told him that much and as her silence continued, he left messages on their machine and waited impatiently for her to call. It was getting late and he needed a break so he hung up the phone and walked toward the door, planning on a short workout and maybe even a quick dinner before he returned to check on Kassem. He hesitated as he reached the door, turning back towards his empty office and speaking in a barely audible voice, he whispered "Good night, Sam," before he closed the door.

Thousands of miles away in Colorado, Sam sat at her worktable with Daniel, picking at the food he'd brought from the commissary. He had been chipping away at the wall of silence that Sam had built up around herself and now sat dumb struck as the wall fell and the words tumbled freely from her rose colored lips. His hand was frozen in mid-air, his eyes glued to her face and wide-open as he listened intently. His brow furrowed slightly as she talked and he realized that he was barely breathing as he absorbed her explanation.

The room went suddenly quiet but he continued to stare, waiting for her to speak again. Finally Sam averted her eyes, picking at the macaroni and cheese on her plate while the silence continued to surround them.

Daniel moved his head slowly side to side as he continued to stare and then practically threw his fork onto the plate.

"You did WHAT?"

Sam's head jerked up quickly at the tone of his voice, accusation practically dripping from his lips while he stared back at her in obvious disbelief.

"No, Sam! You didn't!"

"I thought it was the only way, Daniel."

"The only way? For what? What do think this will accomplish?"

"I need time to straighten this out. To clear my head and I need to do it without Jack's influence. We'll never make it if I don't."

Daniel shook his head again and looked away, totally frustrated.

"This is Jack we're talking about, Sam. I thought you knew him! What makes you think that's even still an option?"

"What? What do you mean, Daniel? Jack agreed to try this, he…"

"He agreed?"

"Yes!"

"Willingly?" Sam shrugged her shoulder in answer. "Because this doesn't sound like something Jack would agree to! Not after all you've been through! What did he say?"

Sam stared off into space for a moment thinking back to the day Jack left for Washington. She recalled his anger as he tossed the papers aside, _"but don't expect me to sign these;" _the coldness in his eyes and the determination in his steps as he walked away, never turning to look back. A sudden, deep shutter swept across her soul and she looked back up into Daniel's eyes but it was Jack's voice she heard in her head, "_And don't expect me to wait forever."_

"He said he wouldn't sign the papers."

"Papers? You filed for divorce?"

"No, a legal separation. I didn't think it was fair to ask him to do this and not give him a way out, if that's what he wanted. He knows how I feel, Daniel. This is only temporary."

"God, Sam. You….I can't believe this…" Daniel raised his hands to shoulder level and let them drop dramatically, then one hand came up to push up his glasses. "Have you talked to him since he left?"

Daniel's voice had developed that high pitch screech that appeared when he encountered something that completely frustrated him.

"Just once, it's been so busy with the missions and my work in the lab that I've hardly even been home."

Daniel tilted his head to the side, thinking about her statement.

"I thought you told me he called every day."

"He did…"

"Until now. Until he went back to Washington?"

They talked for a while longer, Daniel asking questions and trying not to groan at Sam's answers. She listened and countered every remark with what seemed to her a reasonable answer, but her resolve was failing. Her eyes were moving rapidly and her fork had dropped onto the now abandoned plate. It suddenly sounded so different as Daniel reflected her words and actions back to her. It had seemed so logical in her mind. She couldn't have been this wrong.

She didn't look up as she shook her head in acknowledgment.

Daniel watched her and let out a long sigh. "Look, Sam, I know this is none of my business…and you don't have to say anything…but I have to wonder what all of this is really about! Did Jack _do_ something?"

"Daniel, I don't want…"

"Sam. When Jack left here, he thought he was leaving for good. You didn't see that? You didn't feel it?"

"No. No, he wasn't…." She was shaking her head in disagreement, her eyes growing large as she watched Daniel and absorbed the meaning of his words. "He was just trying to convince me that he believes in me!" She looked into Daniel's confused face and then continued. "This isn't about Jack!" She paused and looked back into non-threatening blue eyes, looking away before she spoke again. "Well, in a way, maybe it is. Remember when he wouldn't assign the Russian to SG-1?"

Daniel shook his head, acknowledging that he remembered.

"But he assigned Mitchell who doesn't have anywhere near that much experience."

Daniel remained still and silent as he listened.

"And then he wouldn't approve the mission to Anubis' abandoned base until SG-3 could go along as backup? Which didn't help at all, I might add."

Daniel again shook his head.

"He doesn't believe I can do the job, Daniel, and whether he knows it or not, he's influencing a lot of people with that attitude."

"Sam, he was just being cautious. Didn't you tell me that he gave you good reviews and agreed with your handling of that mission?"

"Later, yes, but I still think…"

"You know, Sam, Jack hadn't been in command of the SGC for very long when all that happened. Has it occurred to you that maybe he was struggling with the responsibility of command? Maybe even feeling a bit overwhelmed and unqualified to do the job?"

"Oh, please, Daniel! Jack is an excellent commander. He's got a ton of experience and I can't see him ever being overwhelmed."

"Ok. Well, how about the stress of sending the woman he loves into unknown danger on the other side of the galaxy while he stays behind and does paperwork?" Daniel cocked his head and stared at her. "We both know how much he cares about all of us and especially you. Don't you think that was tough on him?"

"Yes, of course he cares, but he's experienced in command. And it wasn't the first time."

"No?"

"No! I've taken missions without him before, Daniel, when Hammond was in command…" Sam's voice trailed off as she finished the sentence, suddenly realizing that Daniel might be right about all of this. Her mind was searching through hundreds of missions and encounters, years of working at the SGC beside Jack and the recent days spent without him. "But why all these rumors? What about that, Daniel?"

"Yeah. Well, human nature I suppose, curiosity, jealousy, boredom…who knows, Sam? There have always been rumors and I suspect there always will be but the people that know you don't believe them. Did you talk to Jack about all of this?"

"Not all of it. I have to work it out on my own."

"Why?"

"Why? I just do. It's my problem, there's no need to drag Jack through all of this."

"So instead, you shut him out? Sam, maybe you know a side of Jack I've never seen but I can't believe that you don't know what this is doing to him?

"I know he was upset, Daniel, but he understands."

Daniel shook his head "no" and stared at her quietly for a few moments.

"Sam, he thinks you've changed your mind."

Sam's head jerked up quickly, confusion coloring her usually bright eyes.

"He thinks you want out…that you don't love him."

"No, he…he couldn't think that." She stared at Daniel while he cocked his head and his concern spread across his face. "Did he tell you that, Daniel?"

"Call him, Sam."

Sam stared at him, completely motionless except for her eyes. Slowly panic started to build inside her as she considered the situation and Jack's possible reaction. Daniel could be right. Jack could spiral out of control and alone in Washington he could slip so deeply into the darkness that she'd never reach him. She jerked the phone from its' cradle and with trembling fingers began to dial as Daniel slipped out of the room.

In a gym at the Pentagon, Jack was slamming his fists into a punching bag with all the force he could muster. Perspiration covered his skin and dampened his tee shirt from the exertion of his workout. There were only a few other people in the gym and Jack was ignoring them, striking the bag with brutal, unforgiving force as he thought of Sam and then Kassem, cursing his inability to control either situation.

He tried to focus on Kassem, working through possible tactics to assure his capture. Most scenarios he came up with were doomed to failure and as he discarded each one, he punched the bag harder. There were bound to be casualties, how many or how few depended entirely on his decision, and his stomach turned at the thought of ordering good men to their deaths. He kept punching; sweat spinning into the air around him as he released his frustration. Finally he stopped, pressing both arms around the swinging bag then lifting his chin in resignation. He knew what he had to do.

He removed the gloves and stepped onto the treadmill. He ran hard against the machine, his mind finalizing the plan while a few hundred feet away, inside a closed locker, his cell phone was ringing.

_TBC -_

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	8. Lock & Load

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story! I hope you all had a lovely holiday season and now that it's passed, I'm trying to get back on track. Hope you enjoy!_

_Previously -_

_He removed the gloves and stepped onto the treadmill. He ran hard against the machine, his mind finalizing the plan while a few hundred feet away, inside a closed locker, his cell phone was ringing_.

**_...and now on with the story_**

**Convolutions**

**Chapter 8 Lock and Load**

Jack squirmed against the leather couch before coming fully awake to the ringing phone. He was on his feet in seconds and grabbing for the annoying instrument. Pressing the receiver to his ear, he answered sleepily. "O'Neill."

"Sorry to wake you, Jack, but I need you here as soon as possible."

"On my way, Sir."

Jack replaced the phone and headed straight for the shower, checking to make sure he had a fresh uniform handy. A few minutes later he was dressed and ready to walk out the door, hesitating only to call Mason.

When Jack walked out the exit, Mason was waiting and Jack momentarily wondered if the man missed sleeping as much as he did. He opened the door and settled into the back seat as the Sergeant pulled away.

"Sorry, Tom."

"Not a problem, Sir. Where're we off to?"

"The White House."

"Bad news, Sir?"

Jack sighed as he met Tom's eyes in the rear-view mirror.

"It's never good when the President calls you in at 04 hundred, Tom."

"No, Sir. I guess it wouldn't be."

Sergeant Mason fell quiet then, leaving the general to his own thoughts as he maneuvered the car along the dark, early morning streets, hurrying towards their destination. O'Neill didn't speak again until Tom pulled the car to a full stop at the White House entrance. From the driver's seat, he heard the general release a long sigh as he opened the door and then felt the familiar hand on his shoulder.

"Get yourself some coffee and breakfast, Tom, this could take a while."

Tom turned to face Jack and smiled warmly, "Yes, Sir. Thank you."

The general patted him affectionately and then stepped out of the car. Tom couldn't help wonder what had happened to bring the general here at such an early hour. General Jack O'Neill was a powerful man with lots of resources under his command and Tom knew that something serious was developing for the President to have summoned him. He'd noticed a change in the general of late, an intensity that indicated concern and stress but Tom had no idea where it stemmed from. This morning he'd also noted the absence of his almost always-present smile – that alone was enough to worry him.

Jack passed through several security checks and was eventually led into the oval office, surprised to see the Joint Chiefs, Secretary of Defense and several other high-level cabinets members already inside.

"Good morning, Mr. President, Sirs."

Jack nodded his head slightly as he entered and acknowledged the group gathered around the president.

"Jack, I need a status report on Kassem."

"There was no change as of last night, Sir."

"And this morning?"

"Uh, I haven't checked yet, Sir. I came straight here when you called."

The president pointed to a nearby computer terminal.

"Check now, Jack. It seems our little problem is about to spin out of control."

Jack typed in his codes and the screen was immediately filled with flash messages. He scanned them quickly and then stopped as his eyes scanned the last message.

"I need a secure phone, Sir."

Jack left the room and returned a few minutes later, running his fingers through his hair and loosening his jacket.

"Well, Jack?"

"One of Kassem's top men landed at Kennedy an hour ago. We have him under close surveillance, but for now he's still in New York."

"It's time to stop this thing, Jack. We can't afford to wait any longer. The CIA has intelligence that shows a possible meeting in Paris in a few days."

"Yes, Sir, but since Kassem hasn't moved, I'd like to send in my team and try to stop this at the source."

Suddenly almost everyone in the room was talking at once. Most were objecting to Jack's idea and he lowered his eyelids briefly at the verbal assault surrounding him. He listened quietly for a few moments, until the voices were almost at shouting level, then he raised his own voice. A single word shouted in his strongest command mode got their attention.

"Hey!"

The room fell quiet around him and he couldn't help notice the President's smile.

"This isn't a debate, gentleman. This is my call. The plan is already in motion and unless you, Mr. President order me otherwise, we're doing this my way."

"I'll need your plan details in an hour, Jack."

Jack looked directly into every face in the room, some were angry; some shocked; a few ashen as they contemplated what he might be planning.

"In that case, Sir, I'd better get to it."

The President nodded and he was moving quickly out the door before anyone else could speak. As the door closed behind him, he heard the din of voices rise up again as everyone demanded to know what he was up to.

Fifteen minutes later he was barking out orders while typing on the computer. Andrews was on the phone calling in the staff members from the list he'd dropped on her desk while others were speeding past her into Jack's office, bringing more requested information and being treated to his wrath if they didn't have what he needed. Forty-two minutes later, he ordered everyone out of his office and closed the door. Then he lifted the phone and dialed the White House.

He detailed his plan to the President and waited while he thought it over.

"It sounds a bit _too_ dangerous, Jack, too many chances for failure."

"It can be done, Sir, but those troops are going to be a problem. They're dug in and they can see us coming for miles."

"And just how do you plan to get around that, Jack?"

"A few men, a select team might get through undetected."

"Through all those troops?" There was a long pause as the President considered his plan. "Can you get Kassem out, Jack? Can you guarantee your team's safety?"

This time there was no hesitation, just a swift, resigned answer.

"No, Sir."

More silence followed and finally the President spoke again, the same resignation now evident in his voice.

"All right, General. I need to talk to some people but you have my permission to get started. Keep in touch."

"Yes, Sir." Jack continued to hold the phone as the line went dead and then pressed the intercom button. "Andrews, get General Landry on the phone."

"Yes, Sir!"

His phone rang a few minutes later and when he answered he heard Hank Landry's familiar smiling voice.

"Morning, Hank."

"Jack! A bit early isn't it, what's up?"

"Early? Oh, sorry, Hank, it's the time difference, I didn't think but you're obviously already at the mountain."

"Ah, yes, well you know how it is. What can I do for you, Jack?"

Jack hesitated, choosing his words carefully; he didn't want to alert Hank to any of his current operations.

"Just checking in, you know, to see how things are going."

Hank misread the hesitation in Jack's voice and chuckled slightly. "She's fine, Jack. She's just not here at the moment."

"Oh?"

"I've got a team of scientist that ran into a bit of trouble and I sent SG-1 out to bring them home. They left about an hour ago and with no more surprises they should be back late tomorrow."

"Tomorrow? What happened?"

"What always happens? Some small problem with the villagers blew up in their faces and they missed their check in time. I won't know anymore for a while yet."

Jack let out a long sigh before answering.

"Ok, Hank, keep me advised."

"As always, Jack."

Jack hung up the phone and stared at the computer. "Damn!"

With SG-1 out of the equation he had a lot of thinking to do and little time to do it. He punched up his flash messages, checking that everything was still moving along as planned. He read through the updates slowly. Around the globe troops were being moved into position along with equipment and necessary backup. He stared at the screen, momentarily taken aback by his own power. He had issued one order and in minutes it had rebounded around the planet, changing the plans and destiny of hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. He blew out a deep sigh and wondered if this was how Sam felt when she was preparing to blow up that sun. No. No it couldn't be the same. She was brilliant and must have felt a moment of pride. There was no pride in this mission; there was no sense of accomplishment, no promise of reward. Even if he managed to pull this off - the price would be too high. Kassem had chosen his hideout well. There was no way to get troops in there without a major battle. Men were going to die.

Jack stood and walked closer to the window, arms crossed against his chest, feet wide as his eyes wandered across the view. His mind was moving at top speed, processing possibilities against failures, gains against losses, tactics against insanity. This was a stupid move. He knew it. The President knew it, but the alternative was unacceptable. Kassem was a power hungry mad man who sought to rectify the problems in his world with terrorism. He already had operatives in the United States and his madness made everyone expendable; millions of lives were at stake. Not only soldiers but also the innocent lives of civilian men, women and children were in imminent danger. Jack was in charge and it was his job, his responsibility to see that the danger was contained, that it wasn't allowed to flare out of control spreading misery and mayhem across the globe.

Jack took a deep breath and allowed his thoughts to return to Sam. He'd screwed everything up somehow and that was the last thing he'd wanted to do. It was just a matter of time now, he was certain of that. He'd given her the best he had to offer, the best part of his heart. Even though she was too kind and softhearted to admit it, the fact remained that she'd opened the package and found only disappointment. She didn't love him. She was unwilling to admit it, but in time Jack knew she would arrive at that conclusion and he'd lose her forever. He didn't want to face that, couldn't face it. He wouldn't go back to that solitary existence so he squared his shoulders and taking another deep breath, made the decision for her. He was never meant to fly a desk anyway, far better to go out in a blaze of glory and take that sadistic bastard Kassem with him.

Jack lifted the phone and pressed the button that gave him a direct link to the oval office.

"Hello, Sir. There's been a slight change in plans…"

Once he'd filled the President in on his revised plan he dialed another number.

"Hello, Alan."

"Jack. What's happening?"

"I need you to take the reins for a few days. I've got a major problem that I need to focus on."

"Ok, Jack. Just let me know when."

"Clear anything that can be postponed and start now. I'll send you the updates that you'll need and you can check with Andrews on anything else. I'll be leaving in about an hour so look over the files now."

"Consider it done. Anything else?"

"That's it for now. Just be ready for anything."

"Yes, sir."

He placed the phone in its cradle and turned to the computer, typing in new orders for one Captain Francisco Chavez', USMC immediate deployment. He added the date, inserted his signature and hit SEND, watching as the computer processed his commands. A few seconds later there was a response indicating receipt of his orders and Jack rose from his chair starting across the room. Stopping in mid-stride he returned to his chair and typed in an identical set of orders for Colonel Thomas J. Nelson, sending as soon as they were complete and then printing a copy of both documents. He let out a long sigh and leaned back against his high-backed chair. After a few minutes he rose to his feet again, still replaying the plan in his head as he headed for the shower, when that was finished he'd talk to Andrews.

OoOoO

Sam was walking steadily, almost staring at Teal'c's strong back as he moved with confident agility fifty yards in front of her. Daniel was somewhere behind her and Mitchell was near the rear of their column as they moved towards the gate. She glanced over her shoulder, doing a quick check of the scientists nestled in the center of the group. Surrounded by SG-1 and two teams of marines, the small group plodded along quietly. They were dirty and bruised, but none had serious injuries and they had been more than obedient once SG-1 had finally arrived to free them.

They were quiet now; having survived the attack and ensuing battle, content to follow whatever orders would get them home. She scanned the landscape on each side of them briefly and then returned her gaze to Teal'c while her mind returned to the day's events.

Her shoulder was aching and she rotated it occasionally, trying to relieve the discomfort. She was in for some infirmary time when they got home. The bullet had passed straight through so she wouldn't have a long stay but the doctors were always overly cautious, or so it seemed. This injury was a mere irritation compared to some things she'd been through. It was however, irritating. The whole situation was irritating. Mitchell had been so cock-sure that the villagers were unarmed. Even when she'd pointed out that the science team carried handguns and the villagers were most likely in possession of those weapons, Mitchell had insisted that they wouldn't know how to use them. She snorted and shook her head slowly as she thought of one young lieutenant who would strongly disagree with that assumption.

Ignoring all of their concerns, Mitchell had ordered them to move in without even taking time for a proper recon. Lieutenant Sands had fallen within seconds as the villagers opened fire on the approaching troops. The villagers were guarding against their attack and holed up as they were, inside local structures, they'd been lucky that only one team member had been lost.

There were a few wounded and Sam had taken a hit to the shoulder but Teal'c was instantly beside her, stepping protectively in front of her and firing his staff weapon while she ducked behind the nearest cover. The villagers continued to fire until their weapons were depleted or they were overtaken. The whole thing lasted only a few minutes but by then, Lieutenant Sands was dead, victim to a lucky shot from one of the angry locals.

She was angry at the senseless loss of life and the inexperience that caused it. He'd still be alive if Jack had been in command. Jack would never have walked into that situation without trying to determine exactly what he was facing and she grimaced as that thought triggered others, sending a fresh wave of messages to her brain. Soft brown eyes and a crooked grin filled her mind's eye. Jack.

Suddenly she longed to close her eyes and wrap her arms around him, to melt into the safety and comfort of his strong arms, to immerse herself in his unconditional love.

"Sam?"

The vision shattered and her head snapped up quickly as a voice reached her ears.

"What?"

"How's the shoulder?"

"It's okay."

"Well, I'd say we did all right, wouldn't you? Got everyone out and on our way home without too much trouble."

Sam stopped short and turned to face Mitchell.

"You can be a real ass, Cam."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

His face showed his surprise as he realized that she was angry.

"It means that Sands shouldn't be dead, Cam. It means you were hasty and reckless and you could have gotten us all killed!"

"Colonel!"

"You need to get a handle on your bravado before it kills you…and us!"

She spit the words at him like poison darts and turned immediately to walk away. Mitchell stood looking after her, his mouth slightly open as he tried to think of a reply.

"Sam, there was no way I could've…"

She stopped again and turned on him.

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence! You ignored everything we tried to tell you! You're in command, Cameron. You have to consider all the possibilities, not just some of them. And where do you get off being so sure about everything? You're taking unnecessary chances Cam, and Lieutenant Sands paid for your mistake!" Sam regretted her harsh words the moment they passed through her lips. She was angry but command was always tough and she knew it. She stared at him a moment longer, but didn't apologize. "We all still have things to learn out here, Colonel. I'd like to stay alive long enough to learn them."

She stomped away from him without looking back and Mitchell watched, knowing that she was right. He was still standing there motionless when Daniel walked past and slapped him gently on the shoulder, moving quickly to catch up with Sam.

"Hey, Sam! How's it going?"

She turned a hard glare on him but it quickly softened into a small smile as she realized who was speaking. "I'm ok, Daniel."

"Shoulder's ok, then?"

"Yeah, it's sore but it'll be fine. You ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine!" He walked beside her quietly for a while, step for step, stride for stride, watching Teal'c as she was. "Sam? Did you, um…talk to Jack?"

She glanced over at him and then turned away again, her injured arm still resting on the P-90 strapped to her chest. "I called but there was no answer."

"Oh…" He drew the word out painfully.

"I'll call again when we get home. He was probably in a meeting or something."

"Right! Well, tell him hello when you talk to him, ok. And Sam…don't let it wait too long. I know this is tough for both of you but…"

She smiled at him.

"Thanks, Daniel."

A puzzled look suddenly covered his face. "Um, you're welcome. For what?"

"For caring. For being a friend."

"Oh! Well, I just want to see you two happy. You belong together."

"Yeah, I wish he'd been here today."

Daniel looked over his shoulder, trying to control a quick grimace. "Yeah, me too."

His eyebrows squeezed down towards his eyes and his lips tightened in an intense look of concentration as he watched Teal'c turn momentarily to face them. He'd have sworn he saw the big Jaffa nod slightly in agreement or was that his imagination.

"Sam?"

She looked up at him, waiting for him to speak.

"Do you think Teal'c can hear us from way up there?"

As he watched, Teal'c turned again and Daniel's eyebrows rose to extreme heights.

Sam chuckled lowly as she, too watched him turn.

"Probably. You should be glad, saved us all a few times."

"Yes, of course…"

Sam smiled at Daniel's revelation and continued walking. A few more hours and they'd make camp for the night. There were enough of them this trip that she wouldn't even have to take watch and she might even get some sleep. Then it would be an early pack up and move out for a few more hours of walking, but she didn't mind because each step would take her closer to home, closer to a resolution with Jack.

OoOoO

Jack was standing on the tarmac, yelling to be heard over the sound of the jet engines as darkness consumed the sky around them.

"Andrews, where's Chavez?"

"He'll join you at your first stop, Sir. He'll be waiting for you when you land."

"All right. I've given Mason some time off while I'm gone, Andrews but I'll need you there."

"Yes, Sir, I'll be there."

"Oh, and Andrews, don't forget, any orders you receive from Colonel Nelson are to be treated as coming directly from me. Is that understood?"

The sergeant nodded her head and Jack smiled slightly as she tried to hold her hat in place against the strong wind.

"How do I contact you, Sir?"

"You don't. I'll contact you. General Baker will be handling everything except Kassem and he'll keep you advised. Anything else then?"

"Your wife, Sir?"

"What? Oh! I don't think she'll call but if she does…need to know, Sergeant. Let General Baker handle it."

"Yes, Sir."

"Make sure Chavez gets there, Andrews. We don't want him to be late for this little party."

A voice called out from behind them, "We're ready, Sir!"

Andrews raised her hand in a crisp salute and Jack returned it, smiling slightly as he moved immediately towards the plane waiting for him to board.

He climbed into the second seat and the canopy closed around him. He strapped himself in and radioed the pilot he was ready. He leaned his head against the seat back and allowed himself to think of Sam one last time. The picture came into his mind full-blown; she was curled against him; sleeping comfortably in his embrace, warm body, tussled hair, and face like an angel. She loved _him_. He lingered there momentarily, a small smile tugging at his lips as he remembered the feel of her soft skin against him and then he pushed her away, forcing the memories behind a locked door in the back of his mind, buried deep beneath his duty and obligation. That's all they were now, memories.

As the engines screamed in his ears and the g-forces pressed him hard into the seat, Jack vowed not to think of her again. It was over. Everything that could be done had been done. He had to focus on Kassem and carrying out his plan successfully. It was time to lock and load.

_TBC -_

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	9. Following Orders

_**Thanks to all of you who are reading. Your reviews keep me going! Thanks and I hope you enjoy this one - Maggie.**_

**Classifications:** Angst, Romance

**Spoilers:** Minor Season 9

**Notes:** This chapter includes my response to the "As The Stargate Turns" group Challenge 22 using the phrase 'Goodnight Sweetheart' and/or the words 'fade-out.' This chapter contains both.

Special Thanks to all the wonderful creators and writers of Stargate/Stargate SG1 for lending me their wonderful characters to play in my enjoyable but profitless imagination. I'll be returning them shortly

**Previously – **

_As the engines screamed in his ears and the g-forces pressed him hard into the seat, Jack vowed not to think of her again. It was over. Everything that could be done had been done. He had to focus on Kassem and carrying out his plan successfully. It was time to lock and load._

_**...and now on with the story.**_

**Convolutions**

**Chapter 9. Following Orders**

Jack stepped down from the plane and slowly stretched his long frame, twisting and pulling to relieve the tension of muscles cramped from long hours in the cockpit. He glanced around briefly, nodded to the pilot and started across the tarmac towards the command center. There were several airmen off to this left watching as he neared the buildings. Out of the corners of his eye he could see them clamoring into a makeshift formation as the setting sun sparked a small shaft of light from the stars resting on his collar. He paused and smiled, mostly to himself, at their surprised faces and the less than crisp salutes that followed. Then with his face void of all expression, he quickly returned the salute and moved again towards the buildings.

In a few seconds he was inside and facing an officer who stood rigidly at attention, flattened hand to his forehead as he waited for Jack to respond.

Jack raised one hand to his brow as he spoke, removing his sunglasses with the other.

"At ease, Colonel. Sorry to drop in on you like this but the weather…"

"Not a problem, Sir. What can we do for you, General?"

"I need to make a phone call, Colonel…James. Got a secure line? I just need to check in."

Jack turned on the boyish personality that he often used to put people at ease hoping to make light of their sudden appearance at this remote base.

The Colonel's eyes widened a bit before he answered, stammering the words. "Ah…yes, Sir. It's over here, General."

Jack smiled warmly, slightly amused that the man was nervous in his presence. Generals were a dime a dozen at the Pentagon and no one acted surprised when he, or any other general suddenly appeared at their desk. Focused on his plan, he'd forgotten that generals didn't usually show up unannounced and in the middle of nowhere without making a few people nervous. He shook his head slightly and walked toward the phone.

"At ease, James." His voice was soft and friendly as he spoke. "Did I forget to say that again?"

"No, Sir, thank you. Just tell them what you want, Sir and they'll patch you through."

Jack nodded and lifted the phone. "This is General O'Neill. Can you connect me to my office?" There was a short pause before he spoke again. "Yes, in the Pentagon."

The soldiers behind Jack exchanged surprised glances and the Colonel motioned for them to leave the room as Jack began to speak.

"Andrews?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Just checking in, Sergeant. Everything in line there?"

Jack chose his words carefully, glancing over his shoulder as he questioned his assistant.

"He's at the rendezvous point, Sir, awaiting your orders."

Jack smiled, relieved that he didn't have to question her further to get the answers he needed. "And General Baker?"

"He's fine, Sir. Nothing extraordinary…um, and she hasn't called."

"Also good."

Andrews breathed a relieved sigh at his answer; she'd been unsure how he would take the news that Mrs. O'Neill hadn't called.

"Now, why are you still there?"

"You said you needed me here, Sir."

"Oh for cryin' out loud, Andrews, I didn't mean the _whole_ time!" Jack cringed as he reminded himself to be very specific with his comments to the young sergeant who obviously took her job very seriously. "We've had a slight delay, Sergeant. Patch me through to the boss and then I want you to go home and get some rest. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir, right away."

"Thank you, Sergeant and…I'll find you if I need you."

"Yes, Sir. Patching you through now, Sir."

Jack could hear clicking and pauses as Andrews quickly routed the call directly to the desk of the President.

"Yes?"

The now familiar voice reached him almost instantly and Jack was surprised that the man was still at his desk.

"O'Neill, Sir."

"Problems already, Jack?"

There was a bit of humor in the voice that questioned him.

"Not yet, Sir, just a delay. We had to divert around some bad weather but we'll take off again as soon as possible. Chavez is already at point Alpha. I just wanted to advise you of the delay."

"Yes, well I've been thinking about this plan of yours, Jack, I think maybe I should just order you back here. I'm not sure I want to risk losing your expertise on this maniac."

"Something else going on, Sir?"

"No, no. It's just that Generals usually stay at their desks, Jack, or at least behind the lines! Now, I know you're not the _usual_ general, but still, I'm going to catch hell if anything happens to you out there. You wouldn't put me in that position, would you, Jack?"

"No, Sir."

Jack's face showed no emotion as he listened to the President's concerns.

"Good. There has been a bit of activity but Kassem seems to be content to stay where he is for the moment."

"What about the guy at Kennedy?"

"He's still in New York but there's another operative in California now and one in Florida. Get this done, Jack. Send your guys in there and get it done quickly."

"Yes, Sir, we'll do our best."

"Oh, and Jack…"

"Sir?"

"You did hear me say, "_send_", right?"

Jack winched slightly before he answered.

"Yes, Sir."

"No spur of the moment heroics, Jack. You've got plenty of troops to do that for you, now. Your job is to direct and advise, not participate."

"But, Sir, I may need to…"

"Stick to the plan, Jack. Get this thing going and then get your butt out of there. I'm relying on you, Jack and I expect you back here in one piece. Hell, I expect everyone back in one piece if that's possible. Is that clear?"

Jack dropped his head and let out a long sigh, responding with the same resignation he'd had when he first presented his plan to the President.

"Yes, Sir."

There was a long pause with silence on both ends as the President waited for him to continue.

"I understand, Sir."

"You picked Nelson yourself, Jack now, let him handle it."

"Yes, Sir. But I'd like to be here in case he needs some…direction."

Jack again glanced over his shoulder at the colonel waiting patiently behind him.

"I'm sure he'll do his best. Check out the situation if you feel you absolutely must. Give your team their orders and then get your butt back on that plane you commandeered. I want you back here as soon as possible. You can do what you need to do from here. Clear?"

"Well, Sir…"

The President cut off his sentence quickly.

"Good! Now get on with it, Jack! You're the shepherd on this one…get the wolves away from my sheep. And I'll see you when…day after tomorrow?"

"Yes, Sir! As soon as the weather lets up."

The line went dead. Jack held it for a moment then almost slammed it back into its cradle. He was muttering under his breath when he turned to the colonel but quickly concealed his agitation as he looked up into the man's eyes.

"Paper and pen, Colonel?"

As the soon as the objects were in Jack's hand, he sat down at the desk and began writing, signing his name with a final, almost angry flair.

"Get these on the wire now, Colonel. High priority. And the fewer folks involved, the better."

The colonel stared down at the papers in his hands. The orders were brief and to the point. The first a simple advisement of their delay and the second an order for deployment, "Colonel T. Nelson to proceed immediately to Point Alpha. Any means necessary."

"Questions, Colonel?"

"Ah, no, Sir. We'll send these right away/"

"Good now you have a bunk for me, Colonel?"

"Yes, Sir, follow me."

They walked back through the office door where other personnel were moving calmly about their tasks. The colonel searched the room for a moment and finally seeing whom he needed, called out to a young lieutenant.

"Get these on flash, Lieutenant. And do it yourself, understood?"

The young man nodded his understanding and moved quickly away with the orders in hand as Jack and the colonel disappeared out the main door.

They stepped out into the early evening and were pelted with twirling grains of sand. Jack threw up an arm to protect his eyes as he moved quickly across the open space.

"Damn! Does this wind ever stop?"

"Not really, Sir. Dies down a bit, but it's always there. We'll be inside again in a minute, Sir, you can use my quarters."

"No need for that, James. Any bunk will do."

"Well, it's that or bunk in with everyone else, Sir. I think you'd prefer my quarters."

Jack smiled. "Maybe your right, Colonel. Thank you. Oh and take care of my pilot, too will you?"

"Already done, Sir."

Jack stretched out across the rough bunk willing his body to relax. Closing his eyes, he turned on his side and almost immediately Sam was beside him. His eyes flew open and he stared into the darkness of the unfamiliar room. Out of habit he reached for the radio in his vest pocket but his hand encountered only the regular pocket of his fatigues and he sighed loudly. Dreaming. He was just dreaming. Sam was in Colorado…no, actually she was a million light years away on some unexplored planet. It was what she wanted and he had to let her go. She hadn't really given him any other choice. He turned on his back and stared at the ceiling, picturing her in his mind and thinking that this was the second night in a row he hadn't called her, hadn't heard her sweet voice. He rubbed a rough hand across his tired face and wondered if she'd even notice. Then he closed his eyes again and forced himself to sleep.

OoOoO

Captain Frank Chavez sat on an overturned storage canister watching the desert wind toss sand randomly into the air as he waited patiently. He'd arrived two hours ago. The pilot who had delivered him to this destination had stayed just long enough to eat and refuel; then he turned his plane into the wind and was gone. Chavez had wandered aimlessly about for a few minutes but there wasn't much to see. This base was just a small "stop-off" point that he'd bet didn't get a lot of visitors. To say it was isolated would be an understatement. It looked as if someone had been forced to land here and was still trying to dig their way out.

He had already eaten, re-checked his gear and was now just waiting, staring into the dark as his mind lazily theorized about his current mission. His orders told him little; only that someone would meet him here, at this god-forsaken outpost that he hadn't known existed two hours ago.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of a young sergeant walking briskly towards him, the desert wind tugging at his short hair and uniform as he moved.

"Captain Chavez?"

"Yes."

The sergeant extended a small sheet of paper towards him.

"There's been a delay, Sir. Seems they ran into some weather and had to divert. It'll be several hours before your transport arrives."

Dark piercing eyes looked up at the sergeant with a stoic mask firmly in place.

"Thank you, Sergeant."

"There's an extra bunk, Sir, if you'd like to get some rest."

The sergeant shivered internally as cold eyes watched him.

"That's probably a good idea. Lead the way."

Chavez stood and followed the sergeant across the sand to a small nondescript building. It was painted the same dull color as the sand, blending into the landscape…or _sandscape_ almost completely. From the air, it would be almost invisible to the naked eye. Chavez looked around them as they walked, thinking he'd surely been assigned to hell this time, nothing but wind and sand as far as he could see. There were only a few people stationed here, at least that's all he'd seen. A couple of pilots, the sergeant and four or five technicians called this desolation home. He didn't envy them.

"Here you go, Captain, all the comforts of home!"

Chavez scanned the room, a typical barracks with neatly made bunks standing in precise rows. At the end of each one was a regulation footlocker. There was little else.

"I can stow your gear if you'd like, Sir."

Cold brown eyes studied him just long enough to cause him to squirm and then a soft, almost amused answer broke the silence.

"Thanks, Sergeant, but no. I'll just…keep it here."

Chavez lowered his bag to the floor pushing it beneath the bunk and then removed the bag from his shoulder, gently sliding his weapon alongside the duffle.

"You'll wake me in plenty of time?"

"Yes, Sir as soon as we know. I'll come and wake you."

"Thanks, Sergeant."

Chavez stretched out on the bed, not even removing his boots and was asleep before the sergeant closed the door.

OoOoO

Sam stepped through the gate, gritting her teeth as her boots contacted the ramp sending fresh shards of pain through her injured shoulder. Daniel had one hand on her arm steadying her against a possible fall onto the cold metal.

The room was filled with medical personnel and SF's assessing the condition of the returning bedraggled group. Landry caught Daniel's eye and motioned for him to approach.

Daniel slowly weaved his way down the ramp with Sam in tow, moving cautiously around the exhausted scientists who now sat randomly along the ramp.

"Well, welcome back and good to see you're…" He paused as he saw the dark splotch of color on Sam's shoulder. "Colonel Carter, you're wounded?"

"Yes, Sir, but I don't think it's too bad."

Landry's concerned eyes moved along her blood stained uniform as he motioned to one of the medics.

"Well, let's get you taken care of." He turned to the medic. "Get Colonel Carter to the infirmary."

As they moved away, he spoke again. "Where are Mitchell and Teal'c?"

Both Sam and Daniel turned towards the gate just as Mitchell and Teal'c stepped through carrying Lieutenant Sand's body. Sam pulled her eyes to Landry before answering.

"Here they are, Sir. We had a bit of trouble."

Landry released a long sigh as he watched the last of his troops move down the ramp.

"Yes, I see. Carry on, Colonel. Get that taken care of."

In a few minutes they were in the infirmary and the nurses were helping Sam to remove her pack and jacket. Then Daniel was whisked away to another examination room, protesting loudly that he wasn't injured.

By the time Sam was stretched out on one of the beds the room was filled with people and noise as those with injuries were moved in for treatment. Sam closed her eyes attempting to shut out the chaos that surrounded her and unconsciously reached into the far recesses of her mind seeking comfort. Slowly the noise began to fade out, finally diminishing to a low, tolerable hum as she pulled back into herself and Jack's memory filled her mind's eye.

He was beside her again. His crooked smile shyly adorning his ruggedly handsome features as he sat in the chair next to her waiting impatiently. A slight smile tugged at her lips but faded quickly as Jack stood and approached her, hurt and anger apparent in his dark eyes, his voice strained but sure as he spoke to her. "…_you don't really want me here."_

She was motionless as the vivid memory unfolded around her, trying but unable to pull away. Why hadn't she heard his desperation, his sadness then? _"…I want you to be happy. That's why I'm leaving._" He was so real she could have reached out and touched him but instead she just watched him walk away…again. She had tried to make light of it at the time but her heart knew how badly she was hurting him, knew that she was forcing him out of her life.

And then his voice pulled her back into the memory. _"Don't expect me to wait forever."_ Steely, dark eyes cut through her, making her want to back away, afraid of the anger she saw there. His eyes. They were usually so welcome, so mesmerizing but they appeared cold and foreboding as she searched their depths, only now realizing his despair. Fear rose up within her and she pushed it back, defiant and unwilling to allow it to overpower her. Then suddenly the memory vanished only to be quickly replaced by another… and another in rapid succession. Years of memories unfurled, streaming through her in a fluid kaleidoscope as she fought against her reactions to the vivid recall. Her mind convicted her with years of denial, of teasing and pushing him away, of her betrayal and his eternal forgiveness as the memories continued to wash over her. It was upsetting and painful. She was beginning to physically struggle against it, her body clenching and moving about the bed erratically, trying unsuccessfully to flee the assault on her mind and senses.

And then she was screaming. The room went quiet, voices froze in mid-sentence, startled faces turned towards her and Daniel was running to her side. Teal'c was already there, standing motionless at the foot of her bed, staring down at her as she struggled against an invisible enemy.

"Sam!" Daniel's concerned voice rang out as he moved filling the sudden eerie silence. "What is it, Sam?"

Her eyes flew open and she turned towards his voice. Her eyes were vacant, unseeing, still lost in the memories that were torturing her. And suddenly her mind twisted upon itself and reality slipped away. Daniel reached out to touch her, his concern for her moving him into thoughtless action.

"Get out of my way!" She snapped at him and sat up quickly moving off the bed, then turned to stare momentarily at the empty chair. "Where's Jack? Where is he, Daniel?"

Her voice was demanding and urgent as her hands pushed against his shoulder, shoving him roughly aside and then moving swiftly past him.

"Colonel Carter!"

Teal'c raised his booming voice in an almost threatening tone, surprised at her actions and attempting to stop her.

"Move, Teal'c! Now!"

She shoved against him fiercely, her strength surprising him and he let her pass.

"Sam! He's not here, Sam!"

Daniel's voice was filled with confusion as he watched her disappear out the door and then ran to follow her.

"What happened? What's going on?"

Dr. Summers was jogging across the room and tossing questions at Teal'c as she moved but he was already following Daniel out the door. She picked up the phone and called security.

Sam was running and she had no intention of stopping. She had to talk to Jack. She had to get to his office before it was too late, before he was gone. She clamored clumsily up the spiral stairs, yelping softly when she slammed into the wall on the landing. Her shoulder was bleeding freely again and she was breathing heavily as she stepped off the top stair focused on the office door across the room.

Suddenly, strong arms surrounded her and she could hear Daniel shouting her name from somewhere below. Her mind was still racing, twisting against itself and for a moment she was unsteady on her feet, her eyes blurred as she yelled, "Let go of me! What is wrong with you, airman?"

She struggled momentarily against the arms that were restraining her and then instinctively reached for the sidearm that wasn't there. A moment of frustration flashed across her eyes and almost instantly her elbow came up in defense. Her fisted hand moved across her body until it was almost parallel with the floor and then pushing her body slightly to the side, she reversed the movement with all the thrust she could manage. Bone struck bone as she sank it deep into the ribs of the SF, smiling as the air escaped his lungs forcefully and his grip on her relaxed. As he slumped forward against her back, both from surprise and the force of her blow, she rotated her fist powerfully upwards landing it solidly across the bridge of his nose and feeling the crunch beneath her knuckles as the bones shattered. His hands dropped harmlessly away from her and she ran across the room grasping at the door handle and leaning into the door with her shoulder.

Daniel and Teal'c were just clearing the top of the stairs and they shouted across the room for her to stop. She glanced over her shoulder at her approaching teammates registering the confusion in their eyes and the fear that had been building suddenly, inexplicitly engulfed her. With a final desperate effort she turned the handle and pushed the door open.

"Jack! Oh, my god, Jack!"

Hank Landry was already rising from the soft leather chair behind his desk when Sam burst into the room wild-eyed and shouting. A fresh wet stain covered her shoulder and she was breathing heavily as she came to a sudden stop beside his desk and their eyes locked.

"Colonel?"

Then she was on him. Grabbing at his uniform and shaking him violently, holding on with strong fisted hands, the crisp material wrinkling beneath her taut fingers and shouting angrily through clenched teeth as Daniel and Teal'c appeared in the doorway.

"Who are you?" She demanded, her face a mask of snarled features, mere inches from his. "Where the hell is Jack? What have you done to him?"

"Colonel Carter!"

"I said, where is he, dammit! And I want to know right now!"

"Colonel, let go of me!"

"Where. Is. Jack?"

She shook him again and Landry started to turn towards the doorway as her arm came up in a threatening posture, hand fisted, arm coiled to attack.

"No! Sam!"

Daniel shouted loudly unable to believe his eyes. Sam was about to punch her commanding officer.

Landry was raising his arms in a silent question as Sam released the force of her anger on him. Her arm uncoiled and arched swiftly toward its target as Daniel watched with open-mouthed total confusion on his face.

Teal'c had not been so slow to react and as her arm reached out in anger towards Landry, he intercepted her blow with one outstretched hand. Her fist landed harmlessly in his palm and he immediately enclosed it with his massive hand while the other reached around her, pulling her against his chest.

"Let go of me, Teal'c! He's got Jack!"

"He does not, Colonel Carter. I can not allow you to harm General Landry."

"Sam, what the hell is going on?"

"Daniel! I've got to get to Jack! Help me!"

Her voice was desperate, pleading.

"Sam, he's in Washington. He's fine!"

"No! No, he isn't! Please, Daniel."

She was twisting and struggling but she was no match for Teal'c's strength as he held her snug against him, restraining her gently.

"She has re-injured herself, Daniel Jackson. You should call Dr. Summers."

"I don't need a damned doctor! Why won't you listen to me? I have to get to Jack! You have to help me!"

Daniel's face was clouded in worry as he again tried to assure Sam that Jack was in Washington and that everything was fine but she continued to struggle against Teal'c, insisting that she see Jack, totally convinced that he was in danger.

Dr. Summers entered the small office and surveyed the situation calmly.

"All right, Colonel, you need to come with me and we'll take care of everything."

Sam stared back at the woman defiantly.

"If you don't, I'll have to sedate you." Her voice was monotone and matter-of-fact, leaving no room for question or discussion. "So which is it, Colonel?"

Sam looked around the room at each face, searching desperately for an ally.

"But, Jack…"

"I'm sure he's fine, Colonel. We'll call him as soon as we get to the infirmary. You can talk to him there, ok?"

Sam studied the doctor for a long moment, her mind racing through all the possibilities.

"Sam, please. It's ok, you know we wouldn't lie to you."

Daniel's tone was soft and reassuring, hoping to convince her to cooperate.

Something in his words sparked a memory and as she watched, Daniel's image briefly shimmered in front of her. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly but it didn't go away. Then suddenly the word popped into her mind. _'Foothold. They were all in danger. And Jack…I remember shooting him. No, no. An Alien. I shot an alien.'_ Confused eyes looked back to the doctor and she went suddenly still in Teal'c's grasp.

"Washington? You're certain?"

"Yes, Sam, I'm positive." Daniel assured her again.

She twisted her wrists slightly against Teal'c's grasp as her eyes darted once more around the room.

"Uh, o…ok. Ok. And I can call him?"

"Yes, Colonel. Dr. Jackson can call him now while we're on our way. You can talk to him as soon as we get to the infirmary. Ok?"

Sam shook her head in agreement and Daniel sighed in relief, noticing that everyone else in the room relaxed a bit, too.

"Ok." Sam shook her head and stated her agreement more firmly this time and Teal'c relaxed his hold on her slightly. "It's ok, Teal'c. I'll go with her. Something must have…I don't know…happened…something…"

"It's all right, Colonel. We'll take care of it. Don't worry, you'll be fine."

She shook her head again and the small group began to move toward the stairs. Teal'c released her completely but stayed close to her side, Daniel on the other, as they moved into the hallway.

Sam stared straight ahead, the gray walls stretching out endlessly in front of her. They were lying; she knew it as surely as she knew her own name. They were all lying and Jack was the only person she could trust. She had to get away. She had to find Jack.

At the far end of the hall was the elevator that would take them to the infirmary. A few SF's remained in the hallway, waiting for them to pass, making sure that the situation was under control. Dr. Summers walked calmly in front of them, an SF beside her, leading the group toward their destination, looking over her shoulder occasionally and smiling briefly at Sam.

Daniel glanced at Sam nervously, worried and confused as to what had happened to cause her sudden erratic actions. He wanted to comfort her but hesitated, afraid he might set her off again and for once…he kept quiet.

There was a metallic growl in front of them and the elevator doors opened slowly. A few people stepped out and headed away from them down the long hallway. Sam bolted. She shoved Dr. Summers and the SF apart, moving past them easily and running all out for the open elevator.

"Sam! Teal'c! Stop her!"

Daniel yelled as he began to run, following behind Teal'c.

"Colonel Carter! You must stop!"

She kept running and was within a step of the door when Teal'c fired the zat. Her body contorted in pain and she slumped heavily to the floor across the open doorway, her mind going suddenly quiet as Jack's voice, sweet and soothing, whispered, "Goodnight, Sweetheart" and the terrifying memories faded away.

TBC -

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	10. Perfectly Clear

Spoilers: Minor Season 9

Warnings: Profanity

_**Previously - **_

_He turned on his back and stared at the ceiling, picturing her in his mind and thinking that this was the second night in a row he hadn't called her, hadn't heard her sweet voice. He rubbed a rough hand across his tired face and wondered if she'd even notice. Then he closed his eyes again and forced himself to sleep._

**Convolutions**

**Chapter 10. Perfectly Clear**

"Sir? General O'Neill?"

"What is it, Colonel?"

"Sorry to disturb you so early, Sir, but there's a message for you."

"What? Here?"

"Yes, Sir. It's from the pentagon, Sir." The colonel extended the paper to Jack as his eyes opened and he sat up on the bunk.

"Thank you, Colonel."

Jack took the paper and read the coded message. Then suddenly he was on his feet and moving past the colonel, mumbling lowly and pulling his baseball cap down on his head as he moved towards the door.

In a few minutes he was back in the command center and headed for the radio he'd seen there last night. Without pausing, he moved quickly to the radio, adjusting the controls and lifting the microphone to his mouth.

"Blue One to Hawkeye. Come in." He released the button and listened to the static for a few moments. "Hawkeye, come in. This is Blue One."

"I read you Blue One but could you keep it down, I'm not at the Ritz here!" A very frustrated voice whispered the reply back through the speakers.

Jack smirked slightly at the aggravation in the man's tone thinking he'd probably say much worse if some cocky general were breaking his radio silence. "Roger. Do you have your eye on the ball, Hawkeye?"

"The wolves are on the move, Blue One. They pulled out during the night. Only a few stragglers left guarding the cave."

"Dammit!" Jack cursed loudly and then spoke into the radio again. "You positive? No chance he's still there?"

"I.D.'d him myself. I'm close enough to count the hairs on his head."

Jack pounded one fist against the table in frustration. "Pull back to a safe distance, Hawkeye. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage. Hide and watch. Blue One, out."

"Roger. Hawkeye out."

The radio went silent and Jack leaned against the table, his face screwed into a grimace as his mind kicked into overdrive.

"General?" The colonel questioned hesitantly. "Problem, Sir?"

"Yeah, there's too much space and too little time. What else is new?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Get Crawford in here." The colonel moved quickly to retrieve the general's pilot while Jack again adjusted the controls on the radio. "Williams? This is O'Neill."

"Good morning, Sir."

"No, not very. It seems your net has a hole in it, Williams, where the hell is he?"

"Over the Atlantic, Sir."

"The Atlantic! Why the hell didn't you notify me?" Jack's voice was growing louder as he focused his frustration towards the voice on the radio.

"We sent a flash message, Sir. Hours ago. We've been waiting for your orders."

Jack looked at the message in his hand and then at his watch, groaning softly. It was the middle of the night in Washington and he had sent Andrews home.

"All right, Colonel, tighten the net and I mean tight! Don't let this bastard get away. Is he headed for the states?"

"We're trying to track him, Sir…"

"Trying!" Jack was yelling into the radio now. "I don't want "trying", Colonel. I want to know exactly where he is and where he's going! And send transport to pick up Nelson and Chavez. How long to get something over there?"

"Two hours, Sir."

"Washington could be a smoking crater in two hours, Colonel! You've got 45 minutes. Get Chavez in the air with or without Nelson, understood? And on the fastest plane you can find. I'll be in the air in thirty minutes. Relay that to Washington and the coast guard. Find him, Colonel!"

"Yes, Sir. We're on it, Sir."

"If that plane approaches the coast shoot it down."

"Sir?"

"You heard me, Colonel. Try to contact me first but do not, under any circumstances, allow that plane to cross over into U.S. airspace. If they refuse to divert, shoot it down! Is that clear?"

"Perfectly clear, Sir."

Jack didn't bother signing off, just dropped the microphone on the desk and turned to see Crawford standing behind him. "Can we make that, Lieutenant?"

"No problem, Sir. They're towing the plane out now. She'll be fueled up and ready by the time we get there."

Jack nodded and kept walking, picking up the pace with each step.

"Sir, if you don't mind my asking, where are we headed?"

"Is west good enough?"

The lieutenant frowned slightly, slowed his pace for a second and then hurried to catch up. "Good enough, Sir."

Jack walked towards the door to join the pilot. "What do you say we grab some food first, this may be a long day?"

The pilot nodded and fell into step beside Jack as he opened the door.

"How far away is that carrier of yours, Crawford?"

Lieutenant Crawford glanced at Jack, smiling slightly. "It's just around the corner, Sir."

**OoOoO**

Sam awoke to the dimmed lights of the infirmary and was immediately aware of the unusual noise level. She could hear people scurrying about the room and slightly raised voices engaged in urgent conversations above the familiar sounds of metallic clanging and beeping machines.

A soft familiar voice broke through her still jumbled mind and she turned her head slowly towards the sound.

"Colonel Carter, I am glad to see you awake again. Are you well?"

"Teal'c. Um, I'm…yeah, I think so. What time is it?"

"It is early morning, 0400 hours."

"I feel as if I've been sleeping for days."

"Indeed."

"Indeed? You mean…I have been…? Teal'c, what's happened?"

"You have been ill. Do you not remember?"

Sam's eyes grew wide in surprise and then her face contorted as she searched her mind for the information. Fragments of memories flashed across her mind but the most recent ones were very confusing.

"The rescue mission…the villagers. We were ambushed. I was wounded." Her hand moved absently to her shoulder in silent confirmation. "We came home and General Landry sent me here for treatment…"

"You are correct."

"Then…" She scrunched her eyes at the effort she was expending to retrieve the memories that were trying to stay locked in her mind. "I was sleeping and when I woke up Jack was here, in that chair."

"He was not, Colonel Carter, but you believed otherwise and attempted to reach him."

"Reach him?" Her eyes moved rapidly and Teal'c could almost see the cogs of her mind struggling to find their familiar grooves. She raised her eyes back to him and recognized something that most others could only have guessed at. "I remember feeling panic and a sort of rage… Oh, god, what happened?"

"One SF was injured but he will recover. You were not armed."

"Where's Jack?"

Teal'c's eyebrow rose and he moved closer to her. "He is in Washington performing his duties."

Sam shook her head 'no' for a long moment, searching the memories in her head once again while she pushed back the panic and when she finally spoke it was in agreement with him.

"Yes, of course. I just thought…"

Teal'c could see the sudden overwhelming sadness that colored her eyes before she looked away and he knew that this new pain was generated by O'Neill's absence. He leaned closer to her, his voice almost a whisper.

"Daniel Jackson has left a message for him. I'm sure you will hear from him soon."

Sam nodded but her mind couldn't get past the fact that Jack wasn't here, hadn't been here. He would have come to check on her if he could, regardless of what she'd said to him. Unless, of course, Daniel had been right and Jack wasn't just letting her have her way, he was really gone.

"I need to talk to him, Teal'c. Can you get a phone in here?"

"I cannot, Colonel Carter. Doctor Summers would not allow it and is it not still too early?"

"Early? No, it's not too early! It's two hours later there!"

"I am sorry, Colonel Carter."

Sam sighed in frustration and scrunched her face against her body's protests as she shifted to try and find a more comfortable position. Her arm was bandaged and immobilized against her abdomen. To say the least, it was awkward and sharp pains shot through her with every movement.

"Teal'c why are there so many people here? What's going on?"

"They are being treated for an infection, Colonel Carter, as are you." He pointed to the IV embedded in her arm. "Everyone who was injured has taken ill."

"What? Everyone?" Sam tried to sit up and sucked in air between her clenched teeth as her shoulder screamed its objection.

"It would be best if you remained immobile. Shall I call Doctor Summers?"

"No, no. I'm ok, Teal'c, just…sore."

Sam stared down at the bandage and wondered why she was so sore. She couldn't actually remember being wounded but she remembered Teal'c stepping in front of her and scrambling for cover. She also didn't remember the trip home, except for small bits and pieces, something about Mitchell that triggered rage whenever she focused on it. There were evidently lots of missing memories but she decided to keep that to herself for now.

"I want to sit up. Can you…"

Before she'd finished the sentence, Teal'c was adjusting her bed and his strong arms lifted her slightly so that she was sitting up.

"Thanks."

He nodded and continued to watch her closely.

Sam glanced around the room past the partially drawn curtain and noted an unusual number of SF's nearby. She pointed and nodded her head slightly.

"It became necessary to restrain many of those who were injured due to their unpredictable behavior."

Sam bit down on her lower lip and then lifted her chin in an understanding nod as she continued to search her mind. "Someone shot me…"

"Indeed, the villagers…"

"No, Teal'c. Someone shot me here…with a zat."

Confused blue eyes locked into steady brown ones and she watched him silently as he nodded 'yes'.

"I am sorry, Colonel Carter, but you were trying to escape. I had no choice."

"You?" Teal'c nodded again. "Escape from what?"

"I am unsure."

"It's all right, Teal'c but zats don't normally knock you out for days! Why is everyone sick?"

"Dr. Summers will be here soon. She will be able to answer your questions."

The curtains on one side of the bed were pushed back and a brightly smiling Dr. Summers stepped into the space. Teal'c bowed slightly as she moved to the head of the bed next to Sam.

"She's here now, Teal'c. How are you feeling, Colonel?"

"Um, ok I think."

"Good! No anger, panic, confusion?"

"Well, I still feel a bit confused but other than that, I'm ok."

"Let's get you checked out then. Teal'c, will you excuse us please."

Teal'c nodded and made his way quietly out of the area, drawing the curtain behind him.

Dr. Summers went to work checking out Sam's vital signs and then doing a thorough examination. In a few minutes, she was finished and stepped to the foot of the bed to make notations in the chart that rested there.

"Doctor?"

"Well, you seem fine, Colonel. All your vital signs are normal and there's no fever. I think you're over the worst of it."

"Over what?"

"Well, as near as I can tell the villagers made some adjustments to the weapons they confiscated, actually, to the ammunition itself. They must have painted it with some sort of poison or viral agent, but according to the reports, I'd say poison, similar to that used in a poison dart. Consequently every person that was shot even nicked, by that ammunition developed a powerful infection. We've been trying different combinations of antibiotics and it seems we finally have the right mix."

"And this…infection affected our memories."

"Not exactly. I believe the infection quickly invaded your brain cells creating a disability in your brain's interpretation of stimuli. Everything quickly became distorted and you lost the ability to distinguish between real and imagined situations. In most of you, that triggered your trained responses. We've had a few interesting days."

"Why have I been asleep for so long?"

"You were sedated, Colonel. You believed yourself to be in a…." Dr. Summers glanced at the chart, searching for the proper word, "…foothold situation and all of us to be the enemy. Believe me, it was in your best interest."

Sam shook her head and furrowed her brow as she tried to remember.

"You don't remember any of it?"

"Just a few flashes here and there."

"Well, with a bit more rest perhaps your memories will return. We just don't know yet but all of you appear to have the same memory loss and confusion, so I'd say it's normal for now. All of your earlier memories are in tact?"

"I think so, yeah, perfectly clear."

"You remember your teammates, your name, birthday? The project you were working on before the last mission?"

Sam paused momentarily and then shook her head 'yes'.

"Good, then you won't mind telling me."

Dr. Summers smiled warmly as she continued to make notes in the chart and Sam rattled off the requested information easily.

"Dr. Summers?"

"Yes, Colonel."

"I'd like to speak to General O'Neill."

"I'm sorry, Colonel. He isn't on the base, he's in Washington."

"I know. But I'd like to phone him. Is that possible?"

Dr. Summers glanced at her watch and then moved to Sam's side again. "Why don't you get a bit more sleep first? It's still early and whether you think so or not, you need the rest. We'll talk about it again when you wake up."

"Is he all right? Nothing's happened to him? You'd tell me, wouldn't you?"

"As far as I know the General is absolutely fine, Colonel. It's you that we've been worried about." The doctor patted her arm comfortingly and then returned the bed to its prone position. "Now, get some sleep and I'll be back later."

Sam smiled briefly and shook her head in agreement. She stretched her legs and then tried to relax but her mind insisted on returning to the last events she could remember. She closed her eyes and replayed them over and over, analyzing and searching for answers. At the end of each sequence of replays was Jack. And the nagging fear that something wasn't right.

**OoOoO**

Jack had been escorted to the radio room and was now seated at a desk with a phone in hand, as the call connected.

"Jack! What the hell is going on? I've just had the Air Force Chief of Staff in here raging about you declaring war! What the hell are you up to?"

"What? No, Sir!"

"Did you order a Colonel Williams to shoot down an aircraft, General?"

"Well, yes and no, Sir. My orders were that he not allow the aircraft into our airspace and to shoot it down if necessary."

"That sounds like war to me, Jack!"

"Sir, the target is no longer under direct surveillance. I had to cancel the planned mission and am redirecting now but we cannot allow him in the US."

"Yes, I agree but we also can't go shooting down aircraft without knowing who or what is aboard."

"Would you rather the aircraft approach Washington, Sir or somewhere else along the eastern seaboard? Weren't your orders to keep him away…"

"Dammit, Jack, you are an exasperating man!"

"Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir." A grin had spread across Jack's face as he heard a change in the President's voice that told him he thought Jack was right. "Believe me, Sir, I have no intention of starting a war."

"I ordered you back to Washington, Jack."

"Yes, Sir. I'm on my way but I needed to stop off here, change planes, check out the latest info, re-direct…."

"Yes, yes, Jack. I'm familiar with all your delaying tactics and I'm granting you more leeway than I should. Just…get it done and get back here. Now."

"Yes, Sir."

Jack checked in with his other operatives and learned that Kassem's plane was still on route but was taking a more southerly course than expected. He stood for a long time staring at the map and thinking, trying to read the mind of a madman as he journeyed across the ocean to an unknown destination.

Williams had secured Chavez and they were also on route over the Atlantic. Nelson had not been at the rendezvous point when transportation arrived and following his orders Williams had left without him. Jack was still staring at the map when Crawford walked up behind him.

"General O'Neill?"

"Yes, Lieutenant."

"We're fueled up and ready to go, Sir."

"Yeah, ok." Jack's eye followed the coastline: Canada, New England, Florida, Cuba, Mexico and then South America. He raised a hand up to the map and slowly moved one finger along the coastline, retracing the line his eye had just taken. As his hand slide along the glossy paper and touched the outline of Central America his hand slowed and his mind quickened. Jack stared at the coastline of Mexico and the finger that had been sliding along its outline suddenly tapped against the map. "Crawford?"

"Yes, Sir."

"The Mayan ruins in Mexico…could we make those in a single hop from here?"

"Ah, yes, Sir." Crawford answered with a confident voice but a bit unsure as to why he was being asked that particular question.

"Damn!" Jack swore loudly as his eyes measured the distances and he considered the possibilities. "I must be getting old."

"Sir?" The pilot was totally confused now.

"Oh, right, Lieutenant! I'll be there in a minute I just need to make a few more phone calls."

A few minutes later he was crawling into the cockpit of a jet and strapping on his helmet. As his mike came online he heard the Lieutenant's voice.

"Ready, Sir."

"Ready, Lieutenant. Let's go home."

They were in the air over the deep Atlantic when his satellite phone rang. He answered knowing that it would be Andrews on the other end of the connection.

"Projections show the Yucatan, Sir."

Jack grimaced and slapped an open palm against his knee. "All right, Andrews, send the orders. Do it now. You know where Nelson is, right?"

"Yes, Sir." He closed the phone and Crawford's voice filled his ears.

"Another problem, Sir?"

"No, Crawford, everything's perfectly clear but sometimes I just hate being right."

"Yes, Sir."

Crawford shook his head in confusion. He didn't think he'd understood a word the man had said since he'd met him and he wondered if he was always this mysterious, this vague but he didn't amend his answer, he just kept flying.

"How about we kick it up a notch, Lieutenant?"

Crawford didn't answer but the plane's speed suddenly increased dramatically and Jack stared out into the blue sky hoping the plane that was carrying Chavez was closer than he was.

**OoOoO**

Sam awakened again a few hours later and her first request was a phone. After a few minutes of arguing and Dr. Summers checking her again she was allowed to place the call.

The phone rang several times before someone answered and Sam asked to be transferred to General O'Neill's office. There were a few more long rings but finally Sergeant Andrews answered.

"General O'Neill's office."

"Sergeant Andrews, this is Lt. Colonel Carter. I'd like to speak to the General, please."

"I'm sorry, ma'am but General O'Neill isn't in his office at the moment."

"Sergeant, has he received the message from Dr. Jackson?"

"I'm not sure, ma'am." The Sergeant grimaced slightly as she looked down at the pile of pink message slips on her desk.

"Ok. What time do you expect him?"

"I'm sorry, I don't have that information, ma'am."

"Are you aware that his cell phone isn't working?"

"No, ma'am I was not aware of that."

Sam's frustration was growing with each calm answer provided by the Sergeant. She wasn't getting anywhere so she decided to change tactics.

"Sergeant, I need to speak to General O'Neill right away. You do know who I am?"

Without pause or hesitation, the Sergeant answered. "Yes, ma'am."

"Then let me strongly suggest that you give a message to the general to have him call me as soon as you see him. If I don't hear from him within two hours, I will be calling back. And find out what's wrong with his cell phone! Is that clear, Sergeant?"

"Yes, ma'am, perfectly clear." The Sergeant's voice was calmly measured as she answered Sam's obviously heated question. "I'll give him the message as soon as I see him, ma'am."

Sam slammed the phone down in frustration just as Daniel entered the room.

"Whoa! What's going on, Sam?"

"Have you talked to Jack, Daniel? I mean actually talked to him since he went back to Washington."

"Well, no, but he's…"

"Yes, yes, I know. It's hard to reach him, but not for me, Daniel. He always takes my calls and now…"

"Sam, he's obviously involved in some crisis or he'd be here, right?"

"Is that what you think?"

"Well, yes…don't you?"

"No! I think you were right in the first place and that he's avoiding my calls. I can't even reach him on his cell phone! I think I pushed him too far! Oh, god, Daniel, what have I done?"

"Hey, take it easy, Sam. This isn't the first time you haven't been able to reach Jack. I'm sure he'll call you as soon as he can. You know, he can't exactly reach you sometimes, either. I didn't leave a very specific message the first time I called, I didn't want to worry him unnecessarily."

"The first time? How many times have you called?"

Daniel looked away, not wanting to meet her eyes and not wanting to admit that he had called several times a day since she'd been injured, not to mention the official notification that had been sent to him by the Air Force. He didn't want her to see that he was worried, too because he knew that any message he left saying that Sam was injured would bring Jack running. Only, this time, it hadn't. "Let's not jump to conclusions, ok. He'll call. I know he will. I'm sure everything is fine."

"Really? Well, I'm not, Daniel, I'm not sure at all."

**_TBC -_**

**_Authors Note:_ Had a note from a reader saying they couldn't review because they had already submitted a review to Chapter 10 due to last week's problem with posting. Please feel free to email me direct or go back and review Chapter 9 if you haven't reviewed it. Thanks! and thanks for reading!**

**_Add this story to story alerts below to receive email notification of the next update._**


	11. Follow the Source

Spoilers: Minor Season 9

Warning: Profanity

_Disclaimer: Special Thanks to all the wonderful creators and writers of Stargate/Stargate SG1 for lending me their wonderful characters to play in my enjoyable but profitless imagination. I'll be returning them shortly_

_Previously – _

_Daniel looked away, not wanting to meet her eyes and not wanting to admit that he had called several times a day since she'd been injured, not to mention the official notification that had been sent to him by the Air Force. He didn't want her to see that he was worried, too because he knew that any message he left saying that Sam was injured would bring Jack running. Only, this time, it hadn't. "Let's not jump to conclusions, ok. He'll call. I know he will. I'm sure everything is fine."_

"_Really? Well, I'm not, Daniel, I'm not sure at all."_

**Chapter 11. Follow the Source**

It was morning again and Sam was calling Jack's office, determined to speak to him. The phone rang several times before an unfamiliar voice answered.

"This is Colonel Carter, let me speak to General O'Neill."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, the general isn't in today."

"Isn't in?" Sam shook her head in frustration before speaking again. "You mean he won't be in all day?"

"That's correct, ma'am."

"Could I speak with Sergeant Andrews then?"

"She's not on duty today, ma'am."

"Well…." Sam audibly huffed her frustration aloud as her mind tried to form a question that _would_ be answered. Finally, giving up on deception she fell back on the truth. "Sergeant, I really need to speak to the General. I'm in the infirmary at Cheyenne Mountain. Is there any way I can contact him today?"

There was a long obvious silence on the phone as the sergeant considered her answer. "If you don't mind holding, ma'am, I'll check Sergeant Andrews desk. I'm not familiar with the general's schedule."

"Thank you, I'll wait." Sam paced a few steps in each direction as she waited for the woman to return to the phone. She rubbed a hand absently against her forehead and bit down on her lower lip as her mind churned over the possibilities.

The airman placed the phone back in its cradle and looked up into the staring eyes of Sergeant Andrews. She raised her arms in a questioning gesture and mouthed the words "What now?" Andrews stared back calm but wide eyed as she tried to think of a way to avoid the questions of Colonel Carter.

"She's in the infirmary, Kathy! What's going on?"

"It doesn't matter, Anna, the general isn't here."

"Wouldn't it be better to let her talk to him? Just give her the phone number?"

"Are you crazy? Have you ever been around here when someone decides to ignore one of the general's not so direct orders?"

"He always seems pretty calm to me, Kathy. And besides she's his wife."

"Yes, well, you don't get to be commander of this office without knowing how to be calm but that doesn't mean he'd allow me to disobey orders. He's not here. I'm not here. Transfer her to General Baker's office is she insists."

"I don't think I signed up for all this intrigue!"

"Sure you did, it comes with the uniform. Just follow your orders and get on with it."

Andrews gestured towards the phone and the other woman reluctantly picked it up again.

"I'm sorry, Colonel, the schedule simply shows that the general is out for the day, no other notations. Is there anything else, ma'am?"

"Yes! Let me speak to the officer in charge!"

"Just a moment, ma'am." Anna looked up at Kathy and shrugged her shoulders as she dialed the number for General Baker's office.

Sam was still pacing, waiting for the call to be answered when Daniel came into the room.

"Hey, Sam! You ready?" He stopped short as he saw the phone in her hand. "Oh, sorry. Should I come back later?"

"It's ok, Daniel. I'm just calling Jack…or at least trying to call him."

"Still no luck?"

"They're saying he won't be in today, I'm waiting for General Baker now."

"Baker? Who's…?"

"He's in charge when Jack isn't there."

"Ah, well…"

Sam held up her hand for him to stop talking as she directed her attention back to the phone. "Yes, this is Colonel Carter. Thank you." There was another short pause as Sam waited for the general to answer.

Daniel stood at the foot of the bed, arms crossed against his chest as he watched her. She was anxious. Her body language told him just about everything her words didn't. She was fidgeting, biting at her lip and rubbing at her forehead. Probably a leftover headache from the infection was still bothering her, intensified by her inability to contact Jack and her unspoken worry over their personal situation. He was worried, too, although he hadn't said as much to Sam. He was afraid that he was right, that Jack had finished what she had started and was using his privilege of rank to shut her out completely. He knew that Jack loved her but if his mind had turned their argument into a convoluted rejection well, he couldn't even imagine what the consequences would be.

As he watched Sam his mind returned to the last time he'd seen them together. The way Jack had held her, looked at her and his general attitude when he'd stopped him on top of the mountain. The sadness in his eyes that betrayed the hurt he was hiding beneath the military mask and the chilling look of resignation as he stepped into the car and drove away. Suddenly Sam's strained voice brought him back to reality and he tuned in to her conversation.

"Yes, Sir, I realize that but surely…"

Silence. Sam's hand was pounding against her thigh as she listened.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I mean no disrespect but that just seems so totally…yes, I think he would have let me know!" She turned and met Daniel's eyes, listening again to the voice on the other end of the phone. "When should I expect to hear from him, Sir?"

"That's entirely up to General O'Neill, Colonel. I'm afraid I can't speak to that."

"I'd just like to know that he's all right, General."

"I understand and I am truly sorry, Colonel."

"Thank you, Sir." Sam gently set the phone back on the table and tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling, fighting back the threatening tears.

"Sam? What did he say?"

"He said that he's covering for Jack while he's away for a few days."

"Ok, well that makes sense."

Sam turned back to face him again, a mixture of fear and anger coloring her eyes and silent tears streaking her cheeks. "General Baker says that Jack is on leave, on vacation somewhere."

"What?" Daniel chuckled. "Is he crazy? Jack wouldn't go on vacation with you hurt…" He let his voice trail away as he saw the sadness deepen in Sam's eyes. "No, Sam, there's something else going on. You know that Jack would be here if he could!"

She shook her head in agreement but he could see how upset she was and that she doubted his words. "Sam, there are only a few things I'm sure of in this life but the fact that Jack is totally, _hopelessly_ in love with you happens to be one of them. I can't imagine one little argument changing that after all these years! He must be working on something they just can't tell you about. Maybe they're telling you even less than normal because of who you are, what you might find out on your own."

She was shaking her head and hugging herself as she turned away.

"Sam, maybe you should stay here, just another day or so, until you're feeling better."

"No, I want to go home, Daniel. Please?"

He watched her for another few moments, furrowing his brow in concern but finally agreeing with her request. "Ok, Sam, let's go then."

OoOoO

The symphony of the jungle played around them as they moved silently through its dense cover. A low hum of gentle winds moving across the canopy, the rustle of leaves as small creatures skittered out of their path and the ever-changing patterns of light against shadow keeping them constantly alert. They'd been hiking for about three hours, Nelson in the lead and Chavez following a short distance behind, two ghosts moving silently across the jungle floor.

Nelson held up a fisted hand and Chavez stopped immediately, his eyes searching, his ears tuned in to the sounds around him. When he returned his gaze to Nelson, the man was looking at him, pointing ahead and to the right. There was a clearing just ahead and after a series of hand signals the men began to move off in different directions, approaching the clearing cautiously from its flanks.

Nelson reached the clearing first and slipped down to the ground, using the low foliage that surrounded him as cover. He lifted the binoculars to his face and stared through the lenses, moving his view slowly until he had surveyed all of the open area directly in front of him then he turned to his right looking for Chavez. He couldn't see him, even though he knew he was there. The man had melted into the jungle and was totally invisible. Nelson continued to watch and finally saw Chavez signal his position, a movement so small that Nelson almost missed it.

The jungle seemed to thin out on the other side and Nelson's eyes squinted in concentration as he studied the landscape. It was too dangerous to cross. The clearing was small but flooded in sunlight and if all he knew about Kassem was true, it was very possible that some of his troops were hidden on the other side. He hadn't come this far to be taken out because of a stupid mistake so he lay still and waited. He had to get Chavez close enough to do the job. If they could get out in one piece and home again that was a bonus but neither of them had any false hopes on that issue. It would take all their skill and cunning, not to mention a lion's share of luck.

He caught sight of a slight movement out of his peripheral vision and turned his head towards Chavez' position. He was still hidden, but not as much as before. Nelson could see his weapon extended through the foliage, moving every so slightly as he sighted through the scope. Nelson pursed his lips and watched, hoping the man wasn't actually targeting something. Chavez moved a bit more and Nelson tensed. With one deliberate movement he clicked his radio and Chavez froze. Then he cupped his hand around the microphone and whispered a single word "down." Chavez disappeared again and Nelson settled in, both men waiting for darkness to shield them.

The jungle continued to chirp and slither around them but they remained motionless on it's lush, green floor. Nelson felt a bit vulnerable lying spread out on the ground and dug his feet into the soft earth, preparing to launch his body into motion if necessary. His eyes continued to move along the clearing watching for anything out of place around its perimeter as his mind reviewed their mission.

He was only the brawn on this little field trip; Chavez was the weapon, the method of elimination. His job was to get him close enough to the target to pull the trigger. He couldn't really say that he was happy about this assignment, but he was military, career military and it was a job like any other. He's spent his life following orders and that had involved doing some distasteful things along the way but this time he was just the bodyguard. He wasn't the actual instrument of destruction. He was there to make sure the mission was successful, to make sure that Chavez carried out his orders. His superiors had trusted him to do just that and he didn't intend to let them down. He wouldn't fail. He knew what was at stake and he didn't intend to let that maniac ever leave this jungle. No matter what it took, no matter the sacrifice, he would see this mission through to the end or die trying.

That thought lead him home and he allowed himself to momentarily regret that no one was waiting for him there. Sure he had friends, good friends and he supposed they'd miss him if he didn't return but that would fade in time and they'd go on with their lives. Yeah, if he died here in this remote jungle at least he'd die trying to make the world a better place. Maybe no one would ever even know how he died but it somehow made him feel better that a soldier like him should go out doing what he'd always done than to end up behind a desk somewhere, lost in the paperwork. He realized he didn't mind the thought of dying as long as he completed this assignment first.

He glanced through the darkening terrain trying to catch a glimpse of Chavez but all he saw was the deep green of the softly swaying foliage that covered the ground between them. He wondered if Chavez had family back home. Maybe he had a young wife and kids waiting for him to return and wrap them in his embrace. He hadn't known the man before today and their stealthy walk had left little opportunity for chatting. Maybe he'd learn more about him when they settled down for the night. It seemed to him that most of his friends had been cultivated over campfires in the field even though it would be too risky to have a fire tonight; they might chat over a cold meal. His imagination continued to offer possibilities and he felt a sudden tug of regret pull at him as he pictured both of them going down in a firefight and Chavez' imagined family never knowing what happened to him. He pushed the feelings away and steeled himself against any further thoughts along that line. Maybe it was better if he didn't know anything about the man, it might even make the job ahead easier for both of them. Telling himself to focus on the mission and the tactics they needed to stay alive, he continued to watch the patch of ground where Chavez lay hidden. Eventually a fisted hand with one thumb extended upward caught his eye and he smiled.

Darkness was slowly descending on the world around them. The sun had dropped low in the sky as they waited and the sounds of the jungle grew quieter. The fading light cast a million jagged shadows and changed the lush green warmth into a foreboding obstacle course that hinted of danger with every step.

Nelson watched the clearing, searching for any sign of movement in the fading light when suddenly the sun seemed to disintegrate and darkness fell like a heavy curtain all around them. It happened so quickly that for a few moments Nelson was completely blind. He scrambled for the night vision goggles that rested on his cap and pulled them quickly over his eyes, staring intently as the jungle again became visible. The sounds around him had changed but they were still just the sounds of nature settling into darkness. There was no indication of any other human being and he took comfort in that thought until he realized he couldn't even sense Chavez who was only about fifty yards away. He held his position a few more minutes and then pressed his radio to send the single click that would alert Chavez. When he saw the gun barrel reappear he slowly stood to his full height. Barely moving the foliage around him he surveyed the surrounding area again before beginning to move towards the clearing.

Nelson stopped at the edge of the clearing, still hidden in the deeper darkness that was the shadow of the canopy and waited for Chavez to catch up. His eyes were constantly moving, watching as Chavez moved slowly forward to a position parallel to his own. With all his senses on alert and every nerve on end he found himself wishing they had more backup. Crossing the clearing and getting Chavez across safely would be a lot easier with a full team to watch their backs but there was no point in dwelling on it. They were here now and they were alone with only each other as protection.

Nelson stared at the felled trees and uprooted foliage that lay strewn about the clearing, letting out a long, low sigh. So, it was man-made and not nature's handiwork as he'd originally thought. Adrenaline poured into his bloodstream as he again scanned across the open space realizing that they must be a lot closer to their objective than he'd thought. This must be the far perimeter of Kassem's camp; a first barrier against intrusion and if there were snipers on the other side it could all end right here.

He glanced at Chavez signaling him to wait as he crouched his tall frame as much as possible and took a hesitant step into the clearing. Nothing. No gunfire. Another step. And another. Then he ran. He was the bait, hoping to tempt any potential sniper as he skirmished across the clearing while at the same time hoping that Chavez was as good as he was reported to be.

His adrenaline rush carried him swiftly across the clearing and in a few minutes he was safe on the other side. He crouched in the protective darkness relieved that their presence remained undetected but still listening for the tiniest sound that might signal movement. He remained motionless and on full alert for a few minutes just listening and watching. When he was completely satisfied that there was only the jungle around him he signaled Chavez to cross.

Nelson's eyes followed Chavez as he moved slowly into the open. He held his breath and watched, following each tentative step, weapon drawn, and absolutely silent as he advanced. He began to understand why this man was so good at his job. He was an apparition, barely there, the fluid motion of his body almost poetic as he moved effortlessly across the clearing, his feet barely touching the ground beneath him.

Nelson puffed out a relieved sigh as Chavez disappeared into the cover of the darkened jungle and then began to make his way carefully along the perimeter to join him. A few minutes passed before they were standing side by side, smiling slightly and both breathing heavily from the expended adrenaline.

"Well, that was a rush!" Nelson spoke softly through the small smile that lingered on his features.

"You make a good target, Sir."

"Gee, thanks! Better get on with it then."

Chavez nodded and fell in behind the colonel as they renewed their quest of Kassem. "I think we're close, so keep your eyes open! Let's put a little distance between us and that clearing then we'll settle in for the night. We'll make better time in daylight anyway."

"Shouldn't we try to find the encampment tonight, Sir?"

"No. I want you rested. Tomorrow morning's soon enough."

"Yes, Sir."

They hiked for another thirty minutes or so before Nelson was comfortable with stopping. Chavez curled against a tree to sleep and Nelson covered him with ferns as an added measure of camouflage. When Nelson was finished Chavez had become part of the jungle. He was completely invisible to the naked eye; hidden in its menacing shadows he was just another piece of the jungle.

Nelson settled a few feet away, his weapon resting against his chest but his senses still on alert as he pulled an energy bar from one of the pockets on his vest. He contemplated the comfort a good strong cup of coffee would bring but even if he dared risk a fire, there was none. They hadn't packed in any real food, just enough to sustain them, to keep them going until they reached their objective. He doubted that they even had enough for the return, a sad testament to his expectations for this mission. There was no need to plan for the return trip when you didn't expect there would be one.

He stayed awake another hour or so, watching and listening to the jungle. Chavez had long been asleep and Nelson wondered just how many of these missions the man had been on. Chavez was career military and he respected Nelson's rank. He hadn't even asked any questions. Nelson had led and he had followed. He could only assume that he was used to the setup, used to having someone guide him to the target and if need be, protect him until the job was done. With his gun in hand and his mind still processing those thoughts Nelson leaned back against a tree and drifted into a light sleep.

OoOoO

Sam and Daniel sat quietly in her living room, sipping coffee and trying not to mention Jack. They had discussed the alien attack in some depth with Sam still stubbornly insisting that Mitchell had been hot headed and reckless. Daniel listened patiently, humoring her even though he didn't totally agree. She was military after all and he wasn't, to him they were all dangerous, even himself at times, but this was different. Sam was truly concerned. She seemed certain they were headed for disaster and Daniel knew and respected her well enough to listen to any concern she voiced. He also remembered that she had mentioned something along these same lines to Jack. Daniel furrowed his brow and concentrated on her words. Sam had always been levelheaded, maintaining her objectivity in the most stressful situations but still as he listened to her recount the mission and Mitchell's faults, he could not avoid his own concern – about her. Her memory was still a bit distorted, it didn't quite match his and he assumed that could be attributed to the alien infection. She was still recovering, it hadn't been completely eradicated from her system yet and it was still influencing her memory. He started to question her but paused, hesitant to explore yet another subject that would increase her stress. She needed to rest and he doubted the coffee that she was consuming would help achieve that objective.

"Um, Sam, maybe you should rest for a while. Dr. Summers says that you're not completely clear of the poison yet. Why don't we wait a few days to hash out this thing with Mitchell, just until you feel completely well again."

"I feel fine, Daniel!"

"Sam, it's possible some of your memories are still distorted. Please, I promise we'll do anything you think is necessary…let's just give it a few days, Ok?"

"All right but you have to promise you won't go off-world with him until we do?"

"Sam, you know…I follow orders the same as you do."

"I know that, Daniel, but if it comes to that, I want you to promise that you'll talk to Landry first…and that you'll tell me. If you can't promise, then I'll just have to talk to Landry now."

Daniel studied her stormy blue eyes for a long few seconds before answering. "Ok, Sam. I promise. Now, why don't you get some rest, I'll stay if you want."

Sam smiled up at him as he stood and offered his hand but the worry in her eyes defeated her attempt at reassurance. "Just let me clean this up first." She leaned over and picked up the coffee cups that sat abandoned on the table and started for the kitchen. She moved easily across the room depositing the cups in the sink and was turning to leave when her eyes fell upon the answering machine. The message light was blinking rapidly and she suddenly realized that she hadn't checked it when she returned home. She stared at the light for a moment, knowing without doubt that Jack's voice was hidden there. A sense of foreboding filled her as she reached up with an unsteady hand and taking a deep breath, pressed the button.

The mechanical voice came to life, followed by a slight pause and then just as she'd expected Jack's voice filled the room, "Hey, baby, it's me..."Sam closed her eyes, leaned into the wall and listened, allowing his warm, soothing voice to surround her and momentarily comfort her just as it always had.

As the first message ended and the next one began Daniel came rushing into the room. "Sam, I thought I heard…" He stopped as Jack's voice filled the empty space and turned back towards the machine. "Oh, of course…"

Sam looked up at him with saddened eyes and a tear-streaked face. "I forgot to listen…"

"Ah. Ok, I'll just go back…"

"No, Daniel, stay…please." He nodded his head and stood quietly staring at the floor, a bit uncomfortable as he listened to Jack's familiar voice speaking softly to Sam.

The "good night" messages played for a while and then the machine clicked off. As it shut down Daniel looked up into Sam's worried eyes. "What? Sam, what is it?"

"He hasn't called since we left on the mission."

"Well, maybe he…"

"Where is he, Daniel?" Tears again began to trickle down her cheeks and Daniel moved closer, enclosing her in his comforting embrace.

"I don't know, Sam."

"He…he could be in trouble. We've got to find him, Daniel."

"Sam, he's in Washington. He may be in trouble…but not the life-threatening kind. He's probably just working on something really important."

"Then why won't they tell me where he is? Why doesn't he answer his phone?"

"I don't know, Sam, but we'll find him." Daniel pulled her close and hugged her into his strong chest, slightly alarmed as she almost collapsed into him. "Come on, let's get you to bed and I'll see what I can do. Ok?"

She nodded into his shoulder and Daniel led her down the hallway to her bedroom. Sam crawled onto the soft mattress and he covered her with a blanket that was draped across the foot of the bed.

"Get some rest. I'll be just down the hall if you need me. Try to sleep, ok?"

Sam nodded and Daniel exited the room, pulling the door closed behind him. Sam turned to the picture on the nightstand. Jack's arms were wrapped around her and he was smiling as he stared into her eyes. He was truly happy. She could see it clearly even frozen in the pixels of a photograph. She pulled the picture close, hugging it against her chest as the image blurred and her tears escaped their boundaries. "Oh, god, Jack, I'm so sorry. Please come home."

OoOoO

The first soft rays of morning light began to trickle down towards the jungle floor illuminating the green canopy above their heads and falling gently around Chavez. He stirred slightly, pushing aside the natural blanket that covered him and turning from side to side looking for Nelson. Seeing only jungle around him, Chavez moved as quietly as possible to a standing position lifting his weapon with him as he rose, holding it securely in his experienced hands. He listened intently to the sounds around him mentally sifting out all of nature's sounds and searching for any that would indicate Nelson's position. He had been standing motionless for five minutes when his radio clicked. He lifted his weapon, scanning the jungle around him until Nelson's soft voice broke through the silence.

"Nine o'clock. Coming in."

Chavez turned to his left and watched as Nelson appeared, seeming to materialize out of nowhere.

"So, nice sleep?"

Chavez lowered his weapon and allowed a small grin to settle on his face. "Yes, Sir. Nice sleep."

"You need to work on that, Chavez. You sleep way too soundly for your own good." Nelson was already moving away from their makeshift camp and through the jungle towards their objective.

"But you were watching all night. Weren't you, Sir?"

"Yes and I walked right beside you! You didn't even flinch!"

"I was trained to remain hidden, Sir, to stay alive."

"But you didn't even hear me! How is that going to keep you alive?"

"Excuse me, Sir, but how do you know?"

"What?" Nelson was growing agitated at Chavez' calm exterior. Didn't this punk know he was trying to save his ass? "Are you telling me you _did_ hear me?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Well, I didn't see any sign of that Chavez and I've been trained to notice those kinds of things!"

"Colonel, I'm a sniper. Staying alive means staying hidden. If I move…I'm dead. If I'm dead, then the job doesn't get done and some big shot in Washington has to send some other poor Joe in here." He paused and stared at Nelson with cold, dark emotionless eyes. "It's just you and me out here, Sir and I suppose you're very good at what you do or they wouldn't have sent you but whatever that is, it has nothing to do with me. I'm not here to protect you, so don't expect me to put on some hero act and risk my life to save yours…because I won't. I'm here to do a job, that's all and frankly, Sir, I don't really need your help."

"No? Then why am I here?"

"I don't know the location, you do."

"Ah, yes. Well, just make sure you do your job, Chavez and maybe I won't have to carry your sorry ass out of this jungle on my back!"

"I don't think you'll have to do that, Sir, I'm guessing you're also my executioner."

Nelson came to a full stop and turned to look at Chavez. "What? Why would I do that?"

"Because you were ordered to, Sir."

"No, Captain! I'm your bodyguard…not your executioner. My orders are to get you home…in one piece if possible."

"If you say so, Sir."

"I do say so, Captain. My job is to deliver the weapon to the target and return said weapon to base. That's you, right?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Well then let's get on with it, Captain or am I going to have to drag you?"

Chavez watched him closely, staring into his eyes as if he was trying to steal a piece of his soul. He didn't trust this man, not in the slightest sense of the word but he believed he was telling the truth. "Right behind you, Sir."

The conversation stopped there and they continued on in silence, moving as quickly as possible through the dense jungle.

There was no sign of any other human being but their instincts caused them to increase the distance between them as they walked. Nelson kept his eyes moving, watching the jungle around them and keeping an eye on Chavez who was about twenty yards behind him and off to his right.

They'd been walking for about forty-five minutes when Nelson heard the sound of twigs breaking and a muffled "umph". He turned quickly searching the jungle for Chavez but he was gone. Nelson broke into a run; abandoning the need for stealth as he headed in the direction he'd last seen the captain. He stopped suddenly when Chavez' voice spoke quietly in his earpiece.

"Careful, I'm in a pit. There may be more."

"Ok. Don't move! I'm almost there." Nelson trained his vision on the ground beneath him and moved quickly, but carefully across the jungle floor. He could see the pit before he reached it and pulled his lips back in a tight grimace dreading what he would find once he reached the edge. Crouching on one knee he called out to Chavez and waited as he turned his face toward the colonel. Chavez was a foot or so above the floor of the pit suspended by the sharpened poles that pierced his body. Nelson grimaced involuntarily as his eyes moved along the other man's body noting each injury. He looked like a broken doll. A wooden spear had pierced his right shoulder and the bloody point was poking through a few inches from Chavez' cheek, several others had glanced off his pack and lay sprawled to the side. One leg dangled helplessly between the still standing spears and the other was suspended on a jagged spear that had torn completely through his leg, his blood spilling freely into the pit below.

"Ok, this is…bad. Are you injured anywhere that I can't see?" Nelson was moving slowly around the pit checking the position of each spear.

"I…I don't think so but I can't move."

"Don't even try. I'll get you out."

"I don't know...my leg's broken and my arm too, I think."

"Ok, well…inconvenient but not fatal. What about your back? Any punctures?"

"I don't think so, the pack must have stopped them."

"Yeah? What's in that pack, Chavez?"

"My rifle."

"Oh. Right."

Nelson lay on his stomach and pulled at the remaining spears until they were all either out of the pit or lying harmlessly on its floor. Then he rigged a rope to a nearby tree and lowered himself into the pit with Chavez. He carefully removed all the spears he'd been unable to reach from the edge of the pit and then began to work on the injured man. Using two of the spears he immobilized his broken leg and removed all the spears he couldn't reach from the sides. He lifted his arm as quickly as possible freeing it from the invading spears and laid it across his chest. Then he knelt on the floor of the pit and retrieved Chavez' cap, rising again to force it into his mouth. "Bite down, this is gonna hurt."

Chavez nodded and bit down on the cap. Nelson sank back down to the pit floor placing his shoulders beneath Chavez' hip. He wrapped his hands around the man's legs and then stood up forcing his leg to pull off the spear. Chavez' screamed through gritted teeth and Nelson mumbled apologies as he gently lowered his leg to the ground. He turned to look at Chavez, an apology already in his eyes. "Once more and we're done. Can you make it?"

Chavez turned his head toward the spear protruding from his shoulder and nodded slightly, biting down harder on the material in his mouth. Nelson slipped beneath Chavez' now inclined body and kicked away a few remaining spears that clung to his pack. Then he centered his shoulders against Chavez and hoped silently that his own height would be enough to free him. Using his legs as powerful levers he pushed his body upward, lifting Chavez with his shoulders. The man above him cried out in anguish as the wood ripped through freshly torn flesh and Nelson felt his body begin to slip to the side. Quickly he pressed his hands against Chavez' shoulders and pushed with all his strength. There was another muffled cry as the spear was cleared and Chavez' fell free to the ground. Nelson crouched over placing his hands on his knees and rested momentarily from the effort. Then he turned his attention to getting the wounded man out of the pit.

An hour later Chavez had passed out but he was free of the pit and now lay on the jungle floor. Nelson had bandaged his wounds and done his best to stop the bleeding. His leg was still oozing and Nelson had applied a tourniquet to the injury, hoping to aid the clotting process.

Nelson was also prone on the jungle floor. He had slept little the previous night and had eaten only a small amount of food, that combined with the strenuous effort necessary to remove Chavez from the pit, had left him close to exhaustion. His mind however was working feverishly through the problems at hand. Kassem was only a short distance away but Chavez wasn't able to complete the mission. Nelson wasn't sure he'd even make it out of the jungle.

He'd have to leave him here and make it clear that he was on his own. He'd come back for him if he could but knowing there was no guarantee that he would survive. Fighting against his need to sleep he retrieved and emptied Chavez' pack. Then he quickly assembled the weapon and was relieved to see that it appeared unharmed. After checking it as completely as possible he located the ammunition, loaded the rifle and placed it on the ground next to Chavez.

Working steadily he positioned some of the spears across the pit and covered them with plants and branches, returning it to what he hoped was its previous form. Then he did the same with Chavez, hiding him as he had the night before beneath the natural blanket of the jungle.

He took a small container of water and a few energy bars stuffing them into his vest and leaving everything else for Chavez. When he was finished he moved closer to Chavez and shook him gently until his eyes opened. Then he told the injured man his plan.

"Watch for snipers, Colonel, in the trees…as you get closer."

"Yeah."

"Will you recognize the target, Sir?"

"I hope so, if I don't…then we came all this way for nothing. Keep your head down."

"You too, Sir."

Nelson nodded and disappeared into the jungle. He moved quickly hoping to make good progress before darkness fell around him. He cleared his mind, removing all thoughts of Chavez and home, focusing on his mission, intent on completing the job that Chavez couldn't.

TBC - 


	12. Target Acquired

Title: Convolutions – Chapter 12

Author: Maggie Eaton

Email: 13+ for violence.

Summary: A few months into their marriage, Jack and Sam are facing rough times.

Classifications: Angst, romance.

Spoilers: Minor for Season 9

Archive: http/ Profanity. VIOLENCE.

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1.

Author's Note: Chapter 12. _Don't think. Just follow orders_. **This chapter is a bit dark, not for the faint of heart. Extreme Violence**.

**_Previously –_ **

_Nelson nodded and disappeared into the jungle. He moved quickly hoping to make good progress before darkness fell around him. He cleared his mind, removing all thoughts of Chavez and home, focusing on his mission, intent on completing the job that Chavez couldn't._

**Chapter 12. Target Acquired**

Nelson was flat on the ground staring through the infrared scope of Chavez' weapon. He was lying on top of a bluff at the jungle's edge looking down onto a clearing that had been hollowed out of its heart. There was a large house and two other buildings in the compound; the entire complex surrounded by a low wall. The wall wasn't tall enough to be a useful barrier, it didn't need to be; the jungle was barrier enough.

He had held the weapon ready until he was sure that whoever was inside had settled in for the night and then lowered it quietly to the ground. Still holding it within his grasp, he crossed his arms over it and lowered his head to rest. Then he closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of the jungle around him; in a few moments his exhaustion overtook him but his sleep was short-lived and troubled. He was too keyed up and his position too vulnerable for him to slip away into a relaxing sleep. If one guard stumbled across him, prone on the jungle's floor, he'd have very little time to react so his mind stayed alert while his body tried to rest. Throughout the night he raised the weapon and scanned the area below him searching for any movement or sign of life and finding none, returned to his resting position.

The time had passed slowly and his muscles ached from the inactivity. He was still shrouded in darkness but in the last hour it had become less intense and very soon light would be tickling the canopy above him. Using that quickly disappearing advantage, he had stretched his muscles as much as possible pushing his boots into the ground and flexing his feet, then stretching his arms along the length of the rifle. Now, he was again immobile, resting on his elbows and staring steadily through the scope at the compound below. A single room was awash with light, its brightness slicing through the contrasting darkness of the jungle and he had been focused on it for the last five minutes. There was no other sign of life.

Two hours later, morning had arrived and his dark sanctuary had become a sun speckled hiding. There was a bit of life in the compound, as a few men moved around its interior. They were laughing and talking, their voices rising easily to his ears. That was good; he'd be able to hear them long before they were close to him but it also meant that if he moved, they would hear, they would know he was there. Suddenly Chavez' words came back to him with new understanding, _"If I move…I'm dead. If I'm dead, then the job doesn't get done . . ."_ It was up to him now to see that this mission was successful. It had really always been up to him, since he was in command, the only difference was that now he would be the one to pull the trigger.

All thought stopped abruptly as a well dressed man stepped into the morning light of the courtyard below. He held his breath and watched as the man moved leisurely across the compound. Nelson followed his movements through the high-powered scope until he was certain that he had identified his target. Kassem seemed to be instructing the other men, giving them their orders and Nelson slowly adjusted the scope. He had to be sure of his target. There was no room for error and there would be no second chance.

Nelson followed him as he moved across the neatly trimmed grass and carefully pressed his finger lightly against the trigger. Just a bit more pressure…but suddenly Kassem slipped behind a tree and the opportunity was gone. Nelson released his breath and continued watching. Kassem was there and he had nothing to do but wait.

The other men in the compound climbed noisily into two nearby vehicles and moved quickly down the road, throwing up small clouds of dust in their wake. Determined to prevent Kassem's escape, Nelson kept his weapon trained on the vehicles until they were moving and then quickly swung back to the courtyard. He was still there. Sitting quietly in the shadows, only his feet and legs visible and for a moment Nelson wondered if the man had somehow seen him. He moved his face away from the rifle and eyed the distance. No. It was impossible.

A few minutes later Kassem moved back into the house, disappearing into a nearby door and the two remaining guards followed him. Nelson looked at his watch guessing that they were eating a morning meal and tried to relax a bit as he waited.

Less than an hour later Kassem returned to the courtyard, still masked in shadow, he seemed to be simply enjoying the beauty of his surroundings. A sudden movement across the scope made Nelson pull away and as he leaned in again, he saw a ball rolling onto the plush grass. A small boy, eight or nine years old, stepped into the light. He was laughing as a large dog chased the ball he had just thrown. Nelson grimaced as he watched the boy. "Damn!" His mind screamed the word and it seemed to reverberate off the inside of his skull, bouncing in a crazy echo before finally dying away.

There had been nothing in the intel about Kassem's family being here. He would have remembered. No, they were supposed to be on another continent out of harm's way.

Nelson's pulse increased and his mind was racing as he mentally sought an acceptable solution. He knew the importance of this mission, more so than Chavez but he didn't normally pull the trigger on unarmed, unsuspecting civilians even if they were out to destroy a big chunk of the human race. And to take out the target with his kid right there, right beside him…wasn't that…wrong?

Nelson lowered his weapon and again rested his head on crossed arms. He didn't want to do this, not this way. He was still warring with his morality when the soft "click" in his ear caused every muscle in his body to contract. Chavez. Nelson glanced at his watch. It was just the regular check in, Chavez letting him know that he was still alive. Nelson slowly moved a hand to his radio and pressed the button once in answer. Chavez needed to get out of this jungle, he needed medical care and for a moment, Nelson considered using his safety as a reason to turn back but even as the thought appeared, he again heard Chavez' calm, cool, almost cold, voice in his head. _"…the job doesn't get done and some big shot in Washington has to send some other poor Joe in here._" Nelson bowed his head. Chavez was right. He couldn't let Kassem escape. They hadn't come this far to spare the mental anguish, or even the life of one child, not if it meant risking the lives of a thousand others. With steely determination, he pushed his sadness, his emotions, and his humanity back into the deepest, darkest catacombs of his mind and slowly raised his weapon. _Don't think. Just follow orders_.

They were still there, father and child, playing in the sunlight as Nelson sighted in on his target. He checked and double-checked, wanting to be as quick as possible. He waited for the right moment, barely breathing and his face against the cool metal as he leaned into the scope. He pressed his finger against the trigger, just short of firing and adjusted his body slightly as he lined up the shot. As he moved, the sidearm that was strapped to his upper thigh brushed against the gun that lay beside him on the ground. It was a small sound but definitely metallic and he watched as Kassem raised his head to stare into the jungle.

"Dammit!" He muttered softly and then froze as he watched Kassem shout something to the boy. He was already pushing the trigger home when Kassem turned to face him, eyes glowing in a strange, unnatural way. "What the hell?" Nelson spoke aloud this time, the bullet already in flight, rushing towards its destination with deadly accuracy.

Nelson watched his body begin to sag, one hand reaching toward the pain as he fired another shot into Kassem's chest. He fell to the ground and Nelson moved the scope slightly until the boy was in view. He stood a short distance from his father, motionless and staring as the soft green grass at his feet turned a deadly crimson. He seemed calm and strangely detached as he turned towards the jungle, his face showing no emotion or fear. Then suddenly he heard the sound of a door slamming and a women's voice broke through the silence. She was running toward Kassem. She kneeled beside him, taking in the scene and then let out a keening cry that sent chills along Nelson's spine as she hugged the limp body against hers. He watched quietly as the boy moved closer and pointed towards the jungle. When the woman stood and looked in his direction he was met with another pair of glowing eyes. Without hesitation, he aimed and pulled the trigger. Swinging the scope quickly to his right, his heart clenched in his chest and his face wore a painful grimace as he cursed the fate that had led him here. Zeroing in on the boy, he paused for only a moment before he fired again. He watched through the scope as his bullet struck home and a piece of him died as the small body crumpled to the ground.

His heart was pounding but his training kept him still and strong, waiting for any retaliation that might follow. When the two remaining men came running into the courtyard, weapons at the ready, Nelson fired again and again until he was sure the threat had been neutralized.

Time seemed to slow down, the jungle going suddenly quiet around him, as Nelson lay hidden in its protective arms hearing only the sound of his rushing blood pounding against his ears. He was still locked against the scope, staring at the compound and the bodies sprawled across the grass. His hands were sweating and his stomach churning as he checked each target for any sign of movement; his breath ragged as he fought against his natural instinct to pull back, to stand and run deeper into the jungle. He had to stay; he had to be certain that the job was finished. And it was that determined attitude that led him to fire twice more, sending the guaranteed kill rounds into Kassem's limp body before he moved away from his hiding and disappeared into the jungle.

OoOoO

Sam returned to work after only one day of leave. She was still fidgety and nervous but assured Dr. Summers that she would limit herself to a normal workday. She insisted that it would help her to stay busy; that the very act of using her mind productively would aid her recovery. Dr. Summers had listened patiently to her arguments, countering each reason with one of her own, but in the end she allowed the unfamiliar sadness in Sam's eyes to sway her opinion and after setting down a long list of rules, approved her request.

Sam went to her lab and slipped easily into her normal routines. She reviewed notes from the other scientists on their current projects, checked her own experiments and then sat down to write her mission report.

Everything was fine for a while as she worked in the familiar format of the report but then her mind became confused as she began to encounter gaps in her memory. There were things she simply could not remember and her hands would hesitate above the keyboard, as her mind searched for the answers that she knew must be there. The first part of the mission was absolutely clear in her mind but when she tried to visualize their approach to the village and the ensuing battle in which she was injured, everything blurred. There were only brief patches of clarity, intense moments that seemed to have been burned into the intricate web of her mind lead only to a deep, dark cavern where no memory survived. It was so frustrating that she finally just typed all that she could remember, jotting down single words or paragraphs as the memories came to her. When she'd finished she saved the report and began to read over her work. It was disjointed and confusing, with so many gaps that it was little more than useless.

She dropped her hands onto either side of the computer and then almost immediately raised one to rub at her temple. Her head was aching from the effort and the words on the screen seemed to blur as she attempted to read. She sighed loudly and considered that maybe Dr. Summers had been right; maybe it was just too soon. After staring blankly for a few more minutes she closed the file, making a mental note to return to it in a few days when her memories had returned.

She opened a drawer in the worktable and began to search for a headache remedy among the assorted objects that lived there. Reaching towards the back she encountered a familiar circular object and pulled it forward, cradling it in her hand. Jack's yo-yo. A smile crept across her face as she remembered confiscating it because he was being particularly annoying that day as he flung it between her face and her computer screen repeatedly. She had finally focused on his action and snapped out a hand to grab it, threatening to throw him out of her lab if he didn't stop. He had pouted so charmingly that she'd almost given in to his pleas, almost but not quite. Snatching the string from his hand she had shoved it quickly into the drawer and refused to return it, unable to suppress her smile at the look of surprise on his face. He had, with great effort, sat quietly until she finished her work and then they had gone to lunch, the yo-yo forgotten, until now.

Daniel had by chance, chosen that moment to visit her lab. He stepped through the doorway and stopped short as he caught sight of Sam. She was sitting at the worktable, feet propped up beside the computer with one hand casually across her waist, the other bouncing a yo-yo on its string and she was smiling.

"Sam?"

"Oh, hi, Daniel!" Her smile grew warmer as she turned her face towards him and then returned her attention to the yo-yo.

"What ya doin?"

"Hmm?"

"Um…Sam, you look like…_Jack_. What's going on?"

The yo-yo climbed its string coming to rest in her hand as her slender fingers closed around it and Daniel saw a slight blush spread across her face.

"Oh! I was just thinking. It kind of helps, actually. Maybe that's what the colonel was doing when he used to drive us crazy with this thing."

Daniels eyebrows scrunched slightly as a puzzled look graced his features. "Um, the colonel? You mean Jack?"

Sam turned to look at him, eyes wide as if to say '_what_?' "Yes, Daniel. Who else?"

"Well, it's just strange to hear you refer to him like that now, I guess."

Sam cocked her head to one side before she answered. "Yeah? What do you mean?"

"Um, Sam, you do remember that Jack's a general now, right?"

Her eyes grew impossibly wider as she studied his face then she bit down on her bottom lip and began to shake her head as she started to giggle. "Stop it, Daniel. Is he in yet?"

Daniel tried to stop the worried frown that instantly formed at her words but it was impossible. He stood immobile, staring at her with his arms crossed against his chest and wondering how he should answer that question. He didn't respond until Sam called his name again. "Um, no. No, he isn't here."

"Well, don't remind him I have his yo-yo, ok?"

"Yeah…sure, Sam."

"Was there something you needed, Daniel?"

"What? Uh, no I just wanted to see how you were doing. Maybe get some lunch."

"Lunch?" Sam looked at her watch. "Oh, wow! I didn't realize it was this late. Sure, Daniel let's go."

She carelessly tossed the yo-yo back in the drawer and slipped from the high stool. She was already in the hallway when she noticed Daniel wasn't behind her. She turned and smiled at her friend's familiar pose, he was standing in the same spot, staring off into space.

"Daniel?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you…coming?"

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming." He smiled and hoped that his concern didn't show. Maybe he could convince her to go see Dr. Summers after lunch, if not, then he'd talk to her himself.

OoOoO

In Washington a phone was ringing in the Pentagon….

"General Baker?"

"Yes, Mr. President?"

"I was wondering if you could answer a question for me, Alan."

"I'll do my best, Sir."

"Where the hell is Jack O'Neill?" There was a long silence as the President waited patiently. "Well, Alan?"

"I'm sorry, Sir. General O'Neill is still missing…"

_TBC -_


	13. The Long Journey Home

Title:Convolutions - Chapter 13. The Long Journey Home

Author: Maggie Eaton

Content Warnings: Profanity, Violence.

Pairings: Jack/Sam

Spoilers: Minor Season 9

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without author's consent. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Copyright © 2005 Maggie Eaton

**_Previously –_**

_---_ "I'm sorry, Sir. General O'Neill is still missing…"

--- He had to stay; he had to be certain that the job was finished. And it was that determined attitude that led him to fire twice more, sending the guaranteed kill rounds into Kassem's limp body before he moved away from his hiding and disappeared into the jungle.

_--- "Oh! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming." He smiled and hoped that his concern didn't show. Maybe he could convince her to go see Dr. Summers after lunch, if not, then he'd talk to her himself._

**Chapter 13. The Long Journey Home**

Sam was sitting on a bed in the infirmary, waiting impatiently while Daniel talked to Dr. Summers. She could hear their voices but not their words and her irritation level was slowly rising towards intolerable. She strained her ears to try and lock onto the whispering voices but could only make out a few words_. 'Colonel? Why were they talking about Colonel O'Neill?' _She let the thought simmer for only another moment before her brain yelled, _'Ok, enough!"_

She twisted her body slightly and stood to her feet, moving towards the door in an easy, graceful movement. She stopped only when Daniel called out to her.

"Sam? Sam, wait! Where are you going?"

"There's nothing wrong with me, Daniel, I'm going back to my lab. I have work to do!"

"Sam, no! You need to let Dr. Summers check you out."

"Oh, this is ridiculous! I saw her this morning, Daniel and if there was something wrong with me she'd have found it then." She raised her hands out to her sides and then dropped them quickly to indicate her frustration with the whole situation and Daniel in particular.

"Ok, then" he chimed in calmly, "you're fine. What are you going to work on?"

"What?"

"In your lab…what are you working on?"

"The naquadah reactor, Daniel! The same thing I was working on before lunch!"

"Sam," Daniel's voice dropped to a low, soothing, melodic tone, "you don't have a naquadah reactor in your lab. It was sent to Area 51."

"What? When?"

"Months ago. Look, Sam…your memory is Swiss cheese…and we're just trying to help. Please, let Dr. Summers check you out."

Sam stood looking into his eyes and considering his words. She knew that some of her memories were temporarily missing and suddenly realized that she wouldn't be able to clearly judge the situation. How do you know if you remember everything or not? You would have to rely on those around you, someone that had stored identical memories for confirmation. Facing that realization, she slowly nodded her head and returned reluctantly to the bed.

"Ok, Daniel, I guess you're right. I'm just anxious to get out of here."

"I know. It's ok."

Dr. Summers was already beside her preparing to take a blood sample. "Just a little stick, Sam." Then she smiled warmly into Sam's troubled eyes. "What is it that you're so anxious about? What is it that you want to do?"

Sam pressed her lips together and looked at the two of them.

"I'm not sure. Something is nagging at me but I can't quite get it…it's almost clear and then it's gone."

"Is that happening a lot…not being able to hold onto a thought?"

"Um, no, actually, I feel fine but just this one thing keeps popping up, almost like an instinct…something I should be doing…I just can't remember…"

Daniel exchanged a quick look with the doctor as he crossed his arms and pushed his glasses against his face. He had a strong suspicion that the "something" was Jack but Dr. Summers had warned him not to fill in the blanks for Sam too quickly. It would be less traumatic if she remembered slowly on her own. Daniel agreed in theory but he also knew how upset Sam would be when she did remember.

"Ok. Well, don't worry. We'll find out what's going on. I'm sure it's just a bit of the reaction from the poison hanging on." She placed the vial on the tray beside her and inserted another, then patted Sam's shoulder comfortingly. "We'll take care of it. You're going to be fine."

Dr. Summers smiled warmly and glanced up at Daniel with no sign of concern on her face. "Dr. Jackson, would you step outside for a few minutes please."

Daniel seemed to wake from some faraway place as he jumped a bit and stepped back. "Ah, yeah…sure…I'll…I'll be right outside, Sam."

Sam just smiled vacantly and watched as Daniel drew the curtain closed around them.

"Ok, Sam, anything you haven't told me? Any unusual symptoms?"

"No, not really…I mean I know there are things I can't remember but you said to expect that."

"I did. And I wanted you to remember things on your own but I think there are a few things you need to know if you insist on working."

Sam raised her head quickly flashing a slightly wide-eyed look at Dr. Summers. "Um…ok."

"For one thing, you're not a Major…you're a Lieutenant Colonel." She watched Sam closely, letting her words sink in and then continued. "Ok. I already know that you remember Colonel O'Neill. Do you remember Colonel Mitchell?"

"Yes, he was on the last mission with SG-1."

"Not just the last mission, Sam, he's the fourth member of SG-1."

"What? No. Then where..." Sudden terror filled her eyes as she struggled to bring something forward from her brain. Anything, anything would be better than the blank space she kept running into. "Where is Colonel O'Neill?"

Her lips were quivering and she couldn't seem to stop them, her heart was racing as her mind filled in the blanks with the worst possible scenario. She tried to remember the last time she'd seen him. Was he injured on a mission? Or worse? She was trembling as dark thoughts flooded her senses and she struggled to contain the emotion that they provoked. She hadn't forgotten her feelings for Jack or the regulations that dictated the boundaries of their relationship as she struggled to maintain control.

Dr. Summers grasped her hand quickly as she saw the signs of panic rising to the surface. "It's ok, Sam. He's fine. Colonel O'Neill was promoted. He's head of Home World Security, that's why he hasn't been to see you. He's stationed at the Pentagon now."

"The Pentagon! But Jack would hate that. He'd never…"

Dr. Summers watched her carefully, almost able to see her mind searching for answers as she went on with the exam. "Well, people change. Situations change. I think he's ok with it, at least he seemed to be the last time I talked to him."

"When was that?" Sam stared intently into her eyes, her forehead furrowed in thought.

"Well, it was…let's see…it was before your last mission. He came in for a physical before heading back to Washington…"

As she listened to the doctor's words a flash of memory flickered behind her eyes…_Jack…in dress blues_… She turned confused eyes on the doctor's face for a moment but she was busy with the needles and instruments on the tray so Sam stared over her shoulder and tried to focus in on the memory.

Disjointed bits and pieces slowly came back to her…_her hand against his cheek, his arms around her pulling her close…dark eyes filled with strong emotion_. Her cheeks flushed pink with the surge that swept over her but almost immediately the years of military protocol and emotional denial kicked in. It just couldn't be…neither of them would break that unspoken promise…no, it had to be something else…some stray fantasy fueled with the absence of real memory…nothing more than a dream.

Sam's forehead wrinkled as she tried desperately to hold on to the fleeting vision, to see every detail, searching for a valid memory. Then Jack's voice suddenly filled her head and she sucked in a startled breath as she heard his words, _"I love you, Sam. I always will." _His voice sent shivers racing along her spine and she quickly pulled away from the memory, jerking free of the doctor's gentle grasp in the process, more confused than ever as she turned her troubled gaze back towards Dr. Summers.

"You ok, Sam?"

"Um…yeah." She nodded her head but her voice wasn't the least bit convincing, not even close to dispelling her glaring confusion.

"Did you remember something? What is it?"

"Uh, no. Nothing. It must have been…I don't know. It was the colonel…except it wasn't…it's all jumbled. I can't make sense of it."

"Ok. Why don't you lie down and rest for a bit? Maybe we jumped the gun on this going back to work thing. Give your mind a break."

Sam stared at her wide-eyed for a moment before speaking. "But I feel fine…"

"Sam, in your opinion if you're conscious…you're fine. Now, come on, in you go."

"Karen, please, can't I just go home?"

Karen Summers stared at Sam for a long moment thinking about that question. She knew that home might be confusing at this point and that someone would need to stay with her. She shouldn't be alone when she discovered General O'Neill's clothes in her closet or a wedding picture by her bed. No, it was better to keep her here for a while and see what happened.

"Not yet, Sam, let's see how you feel later on, ok? And even then, I don't want you alone. I'll send off these tests and see if they tell us anything. Until then, get some rest."

"But…." Sam started to protest again but Dr. Summers had made her decision.

"That's an order, Colonel."

Sam shook her head and crawled onto the bed thinking '_How did Jack always manage to get out of this?' _and suddenly that nagging feeling was back again.

"Karen?"

"Yes?"

"I'd like to talk to Ja…General O'Neill if…if he should…call."

"Of course, Sam." She smiled and started back to her office as she made a mental list of the tests she needed to run. Daniel was waiting just outside her office door.

"Well?"

"I don't know anything new, Daniel. She seems to be remembering but she doesn't want to share and I can't force her to talk. Let's see what the tests have to say. For now I'm keeping her here so that she can rest and I can keep an eye on her."

"Ok, I'll be back later to check on her. But right now I think I'll try to contact Jack again."

OoOoO

"I'm sorry, Sir. General O'Neill is still missing…"

"General Baker, we must have a bad connection, I thought you just said, "missing".

"Yes, Sir."

"Alan, the United States government is _not_ in the habit of losing its Generals! How the hell can he be missing?"

"Sir?"

"When I woke up this morning, Alan, I was still the President of these United States and I am ordering you to tell me where General O'Neill is! No whitewash, no military secrets, where is he?"

"Sir…I…I don't know, Sir. As you already know, his aircraft dropped off the scope a few days ago and we've had no word since. We're searching the area but there's a lot of ocean to cover, Sir. We aren't even sure that the plane went down."

"What? Where else could it go, Alan?"

"Well, Sir, General O'Neill does have some very powerful friends."

There was a long silence as the president considered those cryptic words.

"Yes, I guess he does at that. Well, keep looking and keep me informed."

"I will do that, Sir."

"And Alan, he'd better have a damned good reason for not reporting in. If he's just snooping about the Middle East on a lark well…you can tell Jack that I intend to kick his butt all the way to Schenectady when I see him!"

A slight smile crossed Baker's face but his voice remained calm and firm. "Yes, Sir, Mr. President, I'll tell him."

Alan Baker replaced the phone in its cradle and didn't realize that he was speaking aloud or how worried he was about his old friend as he murmured. "Jack O'Neill on a lark?" He shook his head solemnly, "Never."

OoOoO

Nelson made his way quickly through the jungle being careful to cause as little disruption as possible as he moved. For more than an hour he'd been moving away from both the compound and Chavez, changing his course every few minutes with the goal of confusing whoever might be following. Now he turned again and doubled back on a zigzag course that would lead him to Chavez. With his primary objective achieved he wanted to get out of this jungle and the sooner, the better.

The sun was high in the sky and he was nearly melting from the humidity as he hurried across the jungle floor. His mind kept returning to the scene in the compound and he kept pushing it away, not wanting to remember. He had to get out of here and get help. He had to make sure the guards that had escaped weren't the same monsters that he'd just annihilated.

A new wave of nausea hit him as he remembered the boy, his young body crumpling to the ground like a discarded toy; his life cut short by the impact of his bullet. He was going to be sick. He stopped running and fell to his knees, retching out his disgust onto the dark green foliage. Then he drank from the canteen, slowly sipping the warm liquid and stopping when he felt sick again. He leaned back against a tree and let the memory play. Might as well face it now as later. He closed his eyes and watched the memory as it unfolded. His experience told him that it wouldn't be the last time.

Hours later as he neared Chavez' position he paused, clicking his radio once to warn of his approach. There was a long silence but finally the single click was returned and Nelson slowly moved in.

He removed the sniper's rifle from his shoulder and silently began to break it down, packing it safely back into the case that had saved Chavez' life. He could feel Chavez watching him but felt no need to speak and simply carried on with his tasks. When that was done, he began to gather leaves and branches planning to bury himself beneath their cover as night fell. He was exhausted and still sickened by the day's events but he was a soldier and soldier's did their duty; soldier's followed orders.

They had been lying still in the darkness for several minutes, both of them covered with the jungle's bounty, before Chavez spoke.

"It's done then." It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, Colonel."

Nelson suddenly realized that Chavez felt guilty for being injured, for shifting what he considered his responsibility onto someone else. He took a deep breath before he spoke; making certain that his tone was even and emotionless. "No need to be sorry. It's done. That's all that matters. Now we need to get home so…get some sleep and we'll head out first thing in the morning."

"Are you going to sleep, Sir?"

"Yeah."

"No one followed you then?"

"There's no one left, Chavez. Now get some sleep."

It was quiet then. Only the sounds of the jungle night drifting around them as they dozed, each of them listening and just on the fringe of restful sleep. Each of them knowing it would be a long trip home.

OoOoO

"Can you just tell me if he's picked up his messages?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Jackson, I can't release any information but I'd be happy to take a message for you."

"Sergeant, I'm not a spy you know! I'm a friend of Jack's. We've worked together for years and I have high-level clearance. Colonel Carter has been injured and it's important that I reach Jack!"

"I understand, Sir and I'll leave that message for him."

Daniel huffed out a frustrated sigh realizing again what Sam must have felt as she tried to reach Jack, tried to push past the wall of security that sequestered him.

"Ok, fine. Do you have any idea when he will return?"

"No, Sir, I don't have that information."

Daniel shook his head and threw his free hand into the air in exasperation. "All right, Sergeant. Thank you."

Daniel replaced the phone and removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes in frustration.

"Is there no news, Daniel Jackson?"

"No, Teal'c. Dammit! Where the hell is he? What's going on that he hasn't even called to check on Sam?"

"His office can offer no enlightenment on his location?"

"Well, it's the military, Teal'c. I'm sure they know but they aren't going to tell us. Frankly, if it wasn't Jack I'd have given up long ago but…"

"I understand. O'Neill would not give up. He would persist until no options remained."

"Yes."

"Then we must not fail him, Daniel Jackson. You must not let your frustration at this situation distract you. You must continue your attempts to locate him, as would O'Neill."

"Yes, of course…but I keep remembering the day that he left. He was so…despondent. I'm afraid he may be deliberately avoiding contact with Sam."

"I do not believe that to be the case. O'Neill would not refuse to help Colonel Carter under any circumstance."

Daniel looked at his tall, confident friend. His loyalty to Jack was easily apparent and his faith never wavered. Daniel nodded his head in agreement and rose from the table. "You're a good friend, Teal'c. Let's go check on Sam."

OoOoO

It was three full days before Nelson reached the coast. He had dragged, shouldered and carried Chavez every miserable step of the way, often gasping at the steamy jungle air. The injured man was sleeping most of the time now, he was dead weight and Nelson feared the infection that had set into his wounds was slowly depleting his life force. Nelson was exhausted and running dangerously low on reserve energy. He hadn't really slept for well over a week and the stress and exertion of carrying Chavez was beginning to show.

He needed a helicopter and he needed it now. He settled Chavez into a spot approximately 100 yards from the clearing and carefully advanced through the underbrush. It was late in the day and if he didn't get a message out soon they'd have to wait until morning. Nelson studied the landscape around them for any signs of life and was relieved when he found nothing. He had purposely chosen a different pick-up zone due to Chavez' injury. They wouldn't be running across the clearing and jumping in while the copter hovered, it would have to land for him to get Chavez aboard. The site from which they had departed was too close to civilization to risk such a landing, so he had moved his course further south to take advantage of the isolation of the jungle. It had become less dense as they neared the coast but it would have to do. They were both spent; it was now or never.

"Lone Wolf calling Archangel, come in Archangel."

He waited patiently for the radio signals to travel across the miles that lay between him and the aircraft carrier that was trolling innocently a safe distance offshore but there was only silence. Nelson looked around and wondered momentarily if they were still out of range or if the jungle was swallowing his signal before it cleared the canopy. He pressed the button on his radio and tried once more. When there was no answer he reached into a pocket of his uniform and pulled out a small device. He held it in his hand studying it for a moment before he held down the button and pulled the tab that activated the signal. All he could do now was wait. The emergency beacon was blasting a GPS signature into the atmosphere and anyone within range could pick it up.

He made his way back to his teammate and knelt beside him on the ground. If he'd been alone he would have kept moving, hiking, crawling whatever it took and he'd have made it back to the alpha site but carrying Chavez was a totally different story. As he stared down at Chavez he could see that he was either sleeping or unconscious, he wasn't sure which. He reached tentatively towards his forehead and could feel the heat even before his hand touched the skin. Instinctively he shook Chavez slightly and lifted his shoulders from the ground to help him take a sip of water. He continued to pour the warm liquid into Chavez until the man began to cough and then he eased him back to the ground, watching his eyes closely. There was little else he could do now except wait.

"Colonel?"

"You're ok, Chavez, just take it easy. Our ride should be here soon."

The man nodded ever so slightly and allowed his eyes to close once again as Nelson waited for help to arrive.

An hour or so later, Nelson jumped as his radio crackled to life and a relaxed, soothing voice spoke through his earpiece.

"Lone Wolf, this is Archangel. You requested assistance?"

"Roger that, Archangel. Room for two more?"

"That's a roger. Just say the word."

"Stand by." Nelson was already moving as he spoke, lifting an almost unconscious Chavez to his side. He pulled one of his arms across his own shoulders and grasped his belt tightly. "Come on, Chavez, time to go home!"

Chavez mumbled but didn't really speak anything intelligible as Nelson used the last of his strength to drag them both towards the clearing. He couldn't hear the copter but he knew it was close; all he had to do was get there. The jungle was dark and Nelson stumbled, falling heavily to the ground with his burden. Chavez cried out in pain as his broken body slammed into the hard ground. Nelson quickly covered his mouth, smothering his cry until the pain returned to a tolerable level and then allowed him to rest a moment before moving again.

"Sorry, man but we gotta go! Just a little further."

He scooped Chavez up again and hung on, being careful not to stumble again as they moved slowly towards the clearing. The bright flash of pain had revived Chavez and he made a valiant effort at helping to support his weight as they moved clumsily along. A few long minutes later they reached the clearing and Nelson moved close to a tree to give Chavez a bit more support and then reached for his radio.

"Lone Wolf ready and waiting, Archangel."

"Roger, Lone Wolf. We have you on our scope and are headed your way. Prepare for rendezvous."

"Roger that. Will require assistance to board."

"Roger, Lone Wolf. ETA two minutes."

He could hear the rotors chopping into the night air almost before the voice died in his ear and less than five minutes later they were aboard. Chavez was sprawled across the floor of the helicopter and Nelson was leaning back in his seat, staring into the darkness, totally exhausted but on his way home. The helicopter made a sharp turn and headed out to sea with its human cargo now safe and sound within its confines. Nelson listened to the comforting sound of the rotors beating against his ears and as the jungle disappeared beneath him, he closed his eyes in sleep.

_TBC - _


	14. Return of the Shepherd

**Title:Convolutions - Chapter 14. Return of the Shepherd**

Author: Maggie Eaton

Category: Angst/Romance

Content Level: Suitable for all audiences G/T

Content Warnings: Profanity, Violence.

Pairings: Jack/Sam

Spoilers: Minor Season 9

Summary: General: A few months into their marriage, Jack and Sam are facing rough times. Chapter: Nelson and Chavez are returned safely to a nearby aircraft carrier.

Status: Work In Progress

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without author's consent. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Copyright © 2005 Maggie Eaton

Archive: My site, Jackfic yes, Note: As always, any and all mistakes are my own.

**Chapter 14. Return of the Shepherd**

The copter hovered momentarily and then touched down on the deck as gracefully as a dragonfly skimming across the water of a tranquil pond. The rotors slowed, expending the last of their energy as Nelson stepped onto the deck of the carrier and stared blankly at the multitude of faces surrounding him. A select few made their way forward and he stepped aside as skilled hands moved Chavez onto a waiting gurney.

Nelson quickly advised the sailors of Chavez' injuries as they moved him away from the copter. He was still yelling out his warnings beneath the sound of the engines as they paused on the flight elevator and disappeared below deck. He rubbed a dirty hand across his tired features then moved to follow, his large frame in a crouched position and the wake of the rotors tugging at his cap. A shouting voice nearby caused him to turn in that direction and he watched calmly as a young officer jogged towards him.

"I'm sure he'll be ok. Don't worry; they'll take care of him."

Nelson just nodded, too tired to smile or speak, he stood in a motionless stupor.

"What about you? Are you injured?"

Again, he shook his head but this time he managed a single word. "No."

"Chow then? Maybe a shower?"

Another silent nod and they were moving across the deck towards the stairs that would lead them into the belly of the giant ship.

"And then I'll take you to see the Captain."

A little over an hour later, feeling refreshed from the shower and hot food, Nelson followed the young officer into the infirmary.

"I'll wait here while you check on your friend but don't take too long, ok?"

Nelson nodded and walked across the room to the row of beds that lined the wall. Only a few were occupied and it was short work to find Chavez. He was resting peacefully beneath the glaring white sheets that surrounded him. His dark skin was freshly bathed and his hair lay in tight curls, just as it had dried, against his forehead. His wounds had been cleansed and bandaged, his broken bones realigned and protected beneath still damp casts. Nelson absently fingered the assorted tubes that were slowly dripping powerful antibiotics into his system and his eyes traced the multi-colored wires that led to an impressive amount of machinery designed to monitor the slightest change.

"Who are you?"

The voice startled him from his observations and he spun quickly to face a young medic standing only a few steps away.

"You shouldn't sneak up on folks like that, you know? I…I just came to check on Chavez. How's he doing?"

"He's stable for now but he's not cleared for visitors. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave."

Nelson raised a hand as the man approached. "No problem. Just take good care of him, ok?"

"We always do."

Nelson stepped into the hallway with a determined gait. They had allowed him a brief respite but now it was time to debrief the Captain. He followed Jones obediently for several minutes, winding down long hallways and ducking through hatches until they reached a war room just off the bridge where the Captain was patiently waiting.

Jones knocked quietly on the door and then opened it as he heard his commander's voice. The Captain looked up as the duo entered the room and nodded to his officer with a warm smile.

"That will be all, Jones, thank you."

Nelson watched silently as a sharp salute preceded the expected words.

"Yes, Sir!"

Then he was out the door and gone, leaving Nelson alone with the ship's captain. There was a momentary silence in which the captain studied him carefully, asserting his authority with only his posture and expression as tools.

"Well, they tell me that your friend is doing well and that you report no injuries. Sound about right?"

Nelson smiled slightly at the captain's relaxed attitude. "Yes, Sir. Thanks for the rescue, Sir."

"You're welcome. Now, you want to tell me what the hell you're doing on the Yucatan?" The captain stammered for a moment realizing he didn't even know this soldier's name. "Um…."

"Colonel Nelson, Air Force."

"…Nelson, right. And why are you sending out a Pentagon GPS distress call, Nelson?"

Nelson looked down at the floor momentarily and then raised steely eyes to meet the Captain's. "My orders were issued by the Pentagon, Sir. That's why the GPS…. but I'm afraid the rest is classified."

"Classified, huh? Well, I could have guessed that! And that's all you can tell me?"

"The guy in the infirmary is USMC…Captain Francisco Chavez. Can you get him home, Sir?"

"Well, yes, of course I _can…_but he'll have to be approved for travel first, Nelson. What about you?"

"I could use a secure phone, Sir. I need to report in…we're a bit late."

"You mean those Pentagon types didn't provide you with a slick, new sat phone when they gave you that GPS?" Doubt and sarcasm were readily apparent in his tone as he spoke sharply to Nelson wondering what they could possibly be doing in this part of the world.

Nelson smiled and reached into his pocket removing the phone and holding it up by the antenna for the Captain to see. An amused smile spread slowly across the Captain's face.

"Battery's dead. Doesn't work so well without it." He shrugged innocently and then smiled broadly.

"Nelson, those batteries last for…."

"Yes, Sir. It's dead, Sir…trust me."

A few minutes later Nelson was alone in a secure communications room. He plugged in the phone and pressed the button waiting for it to power up. It beeped to life and began to rapidly display the list of waiting messages. Nelson scanned them hurriedly and then held the phone to his ear as he began to listen.

Most of the messages were standard advisories, nothing critical but as he sat listening to the recorded voices, he suddenly froze. His brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed as he focused his concentration on the voice, listening intently to the words of the message.

The second the message ended he was dialing, punching at the digits with an urgency bred of deep concern. He rose from the chair intending to pace the room but the restraint of the cord held him close to the power source and he craned his neck upwards in frustration as he waited. He listened to the ringing in his ear, growing more and more impatient as each one went unanswered.

After the fifth ring with no response he pressed recall and dialed another number, cursing in a low intense tone. Three rings…four and finally a familiar voice spoke a simple 'hello'.

"Daniel!"

"Jack? JACK! Where the hell are you?"

"Daniel, where's Sam? I tried to call but she didn't answer."

"Um…no, no she wouldn't. She's in the infirmary, Jack. Why haven't you called before now? We've been trying to contact you?"

"What? Still? How bad is it? I thought you said it was just a minor wound?"

"Well, yes, it was but there have been some complications. The bullets were poisoned and Sam seems to be having some…weird reaction to it. Are you on your way here, Jack?"

"Not exactly."

His voice dropped a bit as he answered but Daniel couldn't detect if it was just hesitation or despair.

"What? Why not?"

"Daniel, can you just tell me what the doctor said? Is she going to be all right?" The frustration in Jack's voice was rising to a dangerous level as Daniel continued to supply only vague information.

"Yes…no… I don't know, Jack, I don't think anyone does. They're giving her antibiotics trying to counteract the poison… but they can't find the right combination. She's getting worse, Jack. It seems to be reacting to the naq…to something in her blood."

"Daniel, I want to talk to her. Can you get to the infirmary?"

"I'm not at the base, Jack. Dr. Summers made me leave for a while but Teal'c is still there with Sam."

"Dammit!"

"Uh, Jack….before you talk to her you should know…things are going to be strange. Her memories are a bit off. She just remembers bits of things…whole blocks of time are missing or confused."

"What are you trying to tell me, Daniel? That she doesn't remember me?"

"No! No, she remembers you, Jack…she just doesn't remember…everything."

Daniel was stammering. He didn't want to tell his friend over the phone about all the things that Sam had forgotten. His mind was racing to find the right words. He knew they were having problems and he knew they hadn't really talked since Jack had returned to Washington. On the other hand, he didn't want Jack to walk into this thing blind and send Sam into a panic. She didn't remember that they were married but the love and concern was still there, albeit hidden beneath the military façade. All he had to do was figure out how to tell one over-anxious, over-aggressive and highly reactive General that the woman he loved didn't remember being his wife.

"Oh…boy." Daniel's frustration was apparent in his voice as he almost whined into the phone.

"What? Just spit it out, Daniel!"

"Ok. Well, she thinks you're still a Colonel, Jack. I mean, we told her you'd been promoted and that's why you weren't here…but she doesn't actually remember. So, you need to be careful when you talk to her…go easy."

There was a long, disturbing silence on the phone as Jack processed Daniel's words. He got it. Oh, yeah, did he ever. She remembered Colonel O'Neill but not Jack.

Jack scrubbed a hand across his features and then pushed his hair towards the back of his head. They had waited so long for their time together, enduring years of hidden emotions to fulfill their duties and then when they had finally taken those last, few, hard steps…Sam had pushed him away. He'd expected rough days but he'd never expected this. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't let her slip away without a fight; that he'd do whatever it took to keep her with him but now…she didn't even remember him, just her CO. The past few months together had been completely erased. They were back to denial. Jack's head was spinning as worry and distress mixed with exhaustion and confusion foiling all efforts to maintain control. He was almost in physical shock as he sank into the chair.

Daniel was pressing the phone tightly against his ear, squinting hard and holding his other hand against his ear to shut out any excess noise. It was so quiet he couldn't even hear Jack breathing and for one frantic second he thought the connection had failed.

"Jack? Jack! Are you there? Hello?"

"Yeah, I'm here, Daniel."

"Good! So, you're coming home, right?"

Another long silence filled the air before Jack answered.

"I've got to report in and then we'll see. I'll be there as soon as I can, Daniel. Tell Sam I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Jack?"

"Yeah."

"Where are you, Jack? What's going on?"

"Um…I don't know exactly. We'll talk when I get there, ok?"

"Sure, Jack."

"Take care of Sam and tell her…"

Daniel cut him off. He already knew what Jack was about to say. He could hear the worry in his voice.

"Just get here and you can tell her yourself! She'd rather hear it from you anyway. She hasn't forgotten everything, Jack! She took out a few SF's and threatened Landry trying to get to you. She even took on Teal'c."

"What?"

"Long story. Just get here, ok? I'll tell Sam you're on your way."

"No…just tell her I'll be there as soon as I can, ok? I've still got calls to make."

"Right! Ok. See you soon."

Jack echoed Daniel's words and the line went dead. He let out a long sigh and dialed General Baker's office. The man was as good as you could find and Jack knew he'd done exactly what he told him to do. He wasn't worried about the state of security because he knew Alan Baker was watching every point of concern. What he needed to know was how much trouble he was in with their boss.

"Jack, good God, man! Where the hell have you been?"

"I've been a bit busy, Alan. Everything ok?"

"It's quiet at the moment, things seemed to have stalled."

"Yes, one can only hope. So what's the latest from the President?"

"He's pretty upset with you, Jack. Said something about kicking your butt if you were off on a lark."

Jack chuckled softly. "He did, huh? What makes him think he can actually do that?"

"Dammit, Jack! This is serious. We've had half the damned armed forces looking for you!"

Jack pulled his lips back in a tight grimace. Right! He'd conveniently forgotten that he was a valuable asset and that the President didn't like having his orders ignored. Once he'd slipped into combat mode he'd given no thought to the stir a missing general would create. As far as he was concerned he was following orders, the President's orders and he knew he'd do the same thing again.

"Yeah. I'll call him. Anything I need to know?"

"Jack, Colonel Carter."

"I got the message, Alan. Anything new in the last few minutes?"

"Well, no…."

"Ok, then. Send Andrews home. Give her a week off. If I know her she's probably been there ever since I left."

Alan chuckled. "You do seem to inspire loyalty, Jack. Ok. I'll take care of it."

"Tell her "mission accomplished" and that she did an excellent job."

"Jack? Are you telling me that Andrews knew where you were all this time? When none of the rest of us knew? Not even the President!"

Another low chuckle escaped Jack's tired lips as he answered. "Did you even ask her, Alan?"

"Well, no. I didn't think…"

"Guess the plan worked then, huh…what can I say? I had to trust someone and you were better off not knowing."

"Yeah, well let's see if you're still laughing after you talk to the President, eh, Jack?"

"Can you hold the fort a bit longer?"

"Sure, do what you need to do, just let me know where the hell you are this time!"

"I'll do that. Thanks, Alan."

Jack stared at the phone for a couple of minutes before dialing again, thinking this might be a bit unpleasant and as the phone rang into the inner offices of the President, Jack O'Neill was the perfect mixture of military respect and charm.

"Jack! Dammit! Where the hell…"

"Good evening, Sir."

"Do you know what time is it, Jack? And it seems your days are a bit longer than mine, by the way! I expected you back here over a week ago!"

"I'm sorry, Sir there was a bit of a snag. I'm just calling to let you know that the target has been eliminated. The wolf is gone, Sir and the shepherds are safe in the arms of a formidable archangel."

"Did you say archangel?"

"Yes, Sir."

There was a long silence as the President absorbed his words. He knew the man was working out exactly where he was and how he got there but it didn't matter. He wasn't yelling anymore and that was the main thing.

"No casualties?"

"One injured but no enemy fire."

"None?"

"No, Sir."

"That's good to hear, Jack but we still have this little issue of disobeying orders and then going missing for what…a week or so?"

"I truly am sorry, Sir, but it couldn't be avoided."

"Yes…I'm most interested to hear what kept you! Jack, did I ever tell you that you are the most exasperating…"

"You did, Sir."

"All right, I get it, no arguments, no explanations. Sat phone?"

"Yes, Sir. There is still one concern that needs exploring but I can't address that at the moment."

"When are you due back then? I want a full briefing."

"Well, that's just it, Sir. I need to delay that briefing for a bit, with your permission, of course."

"No, Jack, absolutely not! Get your butt on a plane! You seem to be skilled at commandeering my aircraft and whatever else you need so get back here now! I want you in my office first thing in the morning! And don't you dare disappear again, General or you'll be shoveling sidewalks in Alaska for the remainder of your career!"

"No, Sir. Wouldn't think of it, Sir. No disappearing."

Jack grimaced at the angry tone in his boss's voice and the disappointment was easily discernible in his own. The line was quiet for a few seconds as both men gathered themselves into a calm demeanor.

"Sir, I've received a message that Colonel Carter has been wounded and is in undetermined condition. I'm requesting permission to divert to Cheyenne Mountain before returning to Washington. I can file a secure report from there, Sir."

There was another long pause and when the President spoke again, his angry voice had softened with concern.

"What's happened to Colonel Carter, Jack? I haven't received any urgent reports."

"I don't have all the details, Sir. She was exposed to some sort of poison and they've been unable to find the antidote. She's in the Cheyenne infirmary, Sir."

There was a silence as the President considered Jack's request. He'd known these two for many years, first through George Hammond and then personally as their many adventures filtered across his desk.

A long sigh escaped into the phone just before the President spoke.

"All right, I suppose I can't deny that request. You did after all do what I asked and you've more than paid your dues. Just get that report filed as soon as possible. I don't like being in the dark, General."

"As soon as humanly possible, Sir and thank you."

"Jack?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Give my best to Colonel Carter. I hope she's all right by the time you get there."

"Thank you, Sir. So do I."

Jack pulled the phone free and stuffed it haphazardly into his pocket. Then he moved quickly towards the door. In a second he was hurrying down the hallway, eating up the distance in long strides as he jogged back towards the bridge and the Captain's office. Commandeering a plane here would be a bit tough unless he could snag one right off the deck but it would be much easier with the Captain's help.

He thought of Sam as he moved, anxiety building in his chest like a wild storm on the ocean, his muscles tensing along his broad shoulders and his blood tracing a fiery path through his body that left his skin hot and tingling.

He needed transport and he needed it as soon as possible. It was readily available on board this carrier and he saw no reason for the captain to deny his request. And that's all it would be a request, he wouldn't use his rank or station unless it was a last resort. He preferred to gain the captain's cooperation and had every confidence in getting just that as he spilled out his request in nearly frantic, intense words. He answered the few questions thrown at him as vaguely as possible and filled in the missing data on Chavez. The captain finally agreed and had already sent for Jones to escort Jack back to the flight deck when he rose from his chair.

"You know, Colonel, I have this nagging suspicion that if I were to call the Pentagon and ask for a certain Colonel Nelson…they'd probably tell me that you don't exist."

"That's possible, Captain."

"Yes…I suspected as much and yet you expect me to believe that it is vital for you to return to Washington tonight."

"Not Washington, Sir, MacDill will be fine. I can get my own transport from there."

"Yes…I suppose you can. Well, perhaps one day you'll look me up and tell me what the hell this was all about…until then, Godspeed Colonel."

The captain reached out a hand towards Jack and he moved to clasp it in his own, shaking it solidly.

"There's one more thing, Captain."

"Oh? And what might that be?"

"There's a navy pilot on the ground about an hour or two south of where you picked us up. He's waiting for me actually so if you could…maybe send someone over there to tell him we're…"

"I understand, Colonel."

"He'll need to land and refuel before he returns to the Gulf."

"He should have plenty of fuel for the Gulf, Colonel."

"No, Sir, not that Gulf…this one's on the other side of the Atlantic."

The captain's eyes grew wide in surprise as the words sank in and he shook his head slowly as he studied Jack.

"Well, you certainly get around, Colonel. We'll recall the pilot and provide whatever assistance he needs. What's his name?"

"Lieutenant Crawford."

"And his ship?"

"I'm afraid you've got me there, Sir. But they'll be looking for him so if you'd…"

"Is that it, Colonel? Sure there isn't anyone you've forgotten. No submarine captains or high-level bombers waiting for your command?"

The captain's tone had changed to one of disbelief and aggravation but Jack merely smiled and shook his head gently as he answered.

"No, Sir. That's it. And thank you again, Sir."

"Out the door and to the right, Colonel. You'll meet Jones on the way."

"Thank you, Sir."

Jack turned away and had disappeared into the gray hallway before the Captain could speak again. He was satisfied that this man would retrieve the pilot and get Chavez home as soon as he was able but made a mental note to check on both once he was back in Colorado.

He met up with Jones and followed him to the deck where a jet was ready and waiting. He climbed into the backseat and pulled on the helmet, settling the shield over his eyes and pulling the safety harness snug around him. Then he rested his hands lightly on his knees and waited as the pilot secured clearance for takeoff. The lights from the instrument panels glinted against the ring on his left hand and as his eye registered the tiny spark of light his mind traveled instantly across the miles to Sam.

Having a wealth of memories to draw on, Jack could easily picture her in the infirmary. She'd been there too many times before but in the past he'd always been there, too, sitting beside her bed or checking on her at all hours of the day or night. This time was different. The physical distance mixed with the factor of the "unknown" adding new concerns and complications for him. For the first time he allowed his mind to consider all the possibilities, looking at each one with as little emotion as possible. With so little information available, his mind painted a very dark prognosis creating the worst possible scenario he could imagine. He had no idea what he would find when he arrived or what to do for that matter. His instinct was to wrap her in his arms and never let go but Daniel had indicated that she didn't remember their marriage so that was probably a very bad idea. He smiled briefly as he imagined Sam's response to any open show of affection but it faded quickly as fear gripped his heart at the final scenario that snapped into his mind.

In this scenario Sam wasn't waiting in the infirmary when he arrived. Or in her lab. Or even at home. No, this was the one that stole his very breath and froze the heart now beating wildly in his chest. This was the fabric of nightmares; of fear pushed consciously away into the deep recesses of his being. That horrible, unthinkable alternative where he didn't arrive in time to save her; where the hero of the story failed miserably and the damsel suffered the fatal consequence. A violent shiver ran through his soul and he pushed that thought forcibly from his mind before pulling her smiling face from memory and speaking clearly into the microphone.

"Let's go, Lieutenant! Get this bird in the air!"

"Yes, Sir."

Jack rested his head against the seat a fraction of a second before he felt the g-forces tug violently at his body as they were catapulted off the deck of the carrier and the pilot initiated a steep climb which sent them streaking upwards into the night sky. Jack listened to the comforting sounds of flight as they rushed around him in the darkness, his hands slightly restless at the absence of controls.

"Relax and enjoy the ride, Sir. We've got nothing but excellent weather and a clear flight path ahead of us."

Jack pushed back his worry and disturbing thoughts, reaching into his easy-going, cocky military persona to hide his concerns.

"So…no coffee or cute flight attendants, Lieutenant?"

A rich, warm chuckle played back through his headset and then the pilot drawled out his response in a calm, well-practiced voice.

"I'm afraid not, Sir, a bit short on room this flight."

"Ah, pity."

Again the light-hearted chuckle as Jack stared into the darkness.

"But what we lack in room, we'll make up in speed. The Captain tells me you're in a hurry to get home."

"Yes, yes I am."

"Well, I'll have you on the deck at MacDill in no time, Sir."

Jack's voice lost its humorous nature as a sincere appreciation crept into his tone.

"That would be most appreciated."

"Not a problem, Sir. Feel free to catch a few winks and I'll wake you on final approach."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

Jack again leaned his head against the seat, relaxing his body as much as possible into the familiar setting of the cockpit and then turned his head slightly to stare into the night. Unable to differentiate between the dark sky and the dark sea, he closed his eyes and imagined Sam beside him as he drifted slowly into welcome sleep.

TBC -


	15. Total Eclipse of the Heart

_Thanks to all of you that are reading the fic! Your comments and encouragement are very appreciated. I hope you enjoy this chapter! - Maggie_

**Convolutions - Chapter 15. Total Eclipse of the Heart**

Copyright © 2005 Maggie Eaton

_**Previously – **_

_Jack again leaned his head against the seat, relaxing his body as much as possible into the familiar setting of the cockpit and then turned his head slightly to stare into the night. Unable to differentiate between the dark sky and the dark sea, he closed his eyes and imagined Sam beside him as he drifted slowly into welcome sleep. _

**Chapter 15. Total Eclipse of the Heart**

Sam struggled with all her strength but to no good, her foot was caught and there was nothing she could do to free herself. The water was rising around her and even as she continued to search for a way out she began to accept the fact that she might not make it. So be it. She'd go down fighting.

She held her breath and ducked beneath the water trying to reach the debris that was preventing her escape. Bubbles rose slowly to the dark surface as she released her breath and pulled against the collapsed rock that held her. Pulling one last time she expended all of her air and was forced to rise to the surface gasping for live-giving breath, her foot still trapped painfully beneath the rocks.

Her hands came up to smooth her hair away from her face, squeezing the excess water to drain down her back. Alone in the darkness, Sam suddenly realized that her actions might not have been a great idea. She was shivering from the cold now and crossed her arms to try and rub some warmth back into her limbs. If the team didn't find her soon it would be too late. She wasn't going to be able to free herself and she'd die here, cold and alone. Those thoughts chilled her even more as the water continued to rise, lapping against her chin as she pulled and twisted in her futile efforts to escape.

Panic was slowly welling up inside her as thoughts of her impending fate filled her mind and the events of her life swirled in a multicolored funnel of missed chances and regret. She'd always known her death was possible but this was never how she'd pictured it; she didn't want to die and she certainly didn't want to drown. It seemed like a cheat to die like this, after all she'd survived didn't she at least deserve to die in pursuit of the enemy, as a guardian of freedom as she had lived? Stretching as much as possible, she raised her chin above the waterline and wondered why she was alone. Where was the rest of SG-1? Why weren't they here?

"Colonel! Daniel! Teal'c!"

Sam yelled into the darkness, pausing between each shout, then she stilled her movements completely and listened as the echo came back to her again and again. When the echo died and no answer came, she stretched her body to her physical limit and shouted again.

"Colonel! Colonel O'Neill!" And as tears began to slip down her cheeks and her mouth began to fill with water she made one last effort. "Colonel! Colonel! Help me! I'm here! Jaaaack!"

Then she was coughing and sputtering as the water began to choke her and she closed her mouth against it, no longer able to call for help. She was barely able to breath and was fighting the impulse to thrash at the water, grasping for purchase where there was none.

As her eyes closed in resignation a voice yelled out of the darkness, calling her name. Suddenly there was a splash behind her and strong arms encircled her waist, trying to pull her free. Unable to speak, she raised a hand to touch Jack's face and shaking her head, pointed to her foot.

Without hesitation he disappeared into the cold, black depth that surrounded them and in a few moments she felt the weight begin to lessen as he moved the rocks that trapped her. He popped back into view and grabbed onto her, pulling her face above the water as he yelled almost frantically.

"Pull, Sam! Pull your leg free!"

They both pulled but she shook her head and he dived again as she waited. Suddenly the weight that had rested on her leg eased a bit more and she tugged hard sinking beneath the icy water as her leg pulled free.

Then she gave into her fear and began to thrash about desperately as strong arms pulled her into a safe embrace and warm hands stroked long trails of comfort along her back.

"Jack! Help me!"

"Sam, it's ok! I'm here. You're all right!"

Sam clung to the familiar voice. She wrapped her arms around him and held on until her fear subsided and then tentatively opened her eyes. Still gasping for air, Sam ran a shaking hand along the cool white sheets as she relaxed into the comforting arms that held her. One hand went up to brush back the hair that had fallen into her face and her eyes widened at the touch. Her hair was completely dry. Placing both hands on his shoulders, she pulled away completely and stared with obvious confusion into his concerned eyes.

"Daniel? Where's Ja. . .the Colonel?"

"He's not here, Sam, you were dreaming."

"Not here?" Sam sat up and wiggled her foot. There was no pain. "Dreaming?"

"Yeah."

She collapsed back onto the pillows and stared up at him. "Not…not here? Where is he, Daniel? What's happened?"

Daniel placed his hand on her shoulder, rubbing softly, trying to soothe her pain. "You don't remember? Nothing at all?"

"I was trapped in a cave. The Colonel pulled me out and then . . . I was here." Her brow furrowed and her eyes moved restlessly as she searched her mind for more details. Jack had been with her, she was sure of it.

"Um, no, Sam. That was a long time ago. You, um . . . you were shot and there was an infection. You're still recovering . . . but you're going to be ok." Daniel's voice was shaking a bit as he recounted the story for her again, touching the bandage on her shoulder as he spoke. "Can I get you anything?"

Sam shook her head slowly, still silently searching her memories for the answers and finding only confusion.

OoOoO

Jack dozed restlessly as the plane streaked across the sky towards MacDill Air Force Base. Disturbing dreams battling against restful sleep as thoughts of Sam mixed with unfamiliar faces and glowing eyes. Again and again he drifted away only to be snatched roughly from his rest by his growing worry for Sam or a vivid flash of dark memories.

Finally he jerked violently awake, slamming his helmet into the side canopy as he reacted to the sound of Sam's voice calling for help. With every muscle tensed, he looked around the cockpit and then rubbed his hand across his face in frustration as he came fully awake and aware.

"You all right, Sir?"

"Um, yeah, fine. Just…nothing…I guess. How much longer?"

"We'll be there in a few minutes, Sir. Half an hour at most."

"Good. That's good."

Jack leaned back in the seat and tried to recall the dream that had awakened him. He was sure that Sam was calling him; that she was in real danger but deep down he knew it was just his concern surfacing in his dreams. He stared out into the darkness and whispered, "I'll be home soon, Sam."

He arrived at MacDill near exhaustion but still anxious to get home. Protocol demanded that he report to the base commander upon arrival and he was almost dreading maintaining the "Nelson" deception but at this point it was easier and faster than the truth.

He knocked and waited for the command to enter, then turned the handle and stepped inside.

"Colonel Nelson, Sir."

The gray haired officer sitting behind the desk finished signing the document in front of him and then looked up.

"Colonel Nel. . .Jack?"

"Tony?"

"Jack, what the hell . . .? What's going on? This notice says that Colonel Nelson will be reporting, not General O'Neill!"

"Yeah, that's a bit tough to explain, Tony." Jack dropped the hand he had raised in salute as a smile tugged at his lips. "It's good to see you. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, it's just a temporary thing. Carlson is on vacation and I'm filling in. Didn't you get the memo, _General_?"

"Uh, no. I must have missed that one."

Jack chuckled softly as he moved to sit in a chair in front of the desk.

"Ok, Jack what are you doing here and what do you need? The head of Homeworld Security does not just drop in to say hello."

"Actually, Tony . . . I need a ride home. I'm on my way to Colorado and I need a plane that'll get me there in a hurry."

"Yes, well, correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you just come in on a Navy jet? And since when is Florida on the flight path to Colorado?"

"Well, you know me, Tony!" Jack's eyes sparkled with mischief. "I could tell you but then I'd have to shoot you."

Tony laughed at the cliché that slipped so easily from Jack's lips as he started to pull forms from a file in his desk.

"You haven't changed, have you, Jack?"

"Not much, I guess."

"Ok, well, I'll get a plane lined up. When do you want to leave?"

"As soon as the plane's ready."

"Well, in that case, General, you'll need a pilot, too."

"I don't think that's necessary, Tony. . ."

"Well, unless that's an order, I think it is. You look like hell, Jack; you're exhausted, anyone can see that. I'd rather not be responsible for you crashing into the deck somewhere between here and Colorado."

Jack opened his mouth to protest but Tony cut him off.

"I assure you, it's not a problem, General. We'd be happy to provide a pilot to take you to Colorado. Now, why don't you get changed and get something to eat while I make the arrangements."

Jack smiled up at the man he hadn't seen in years and finally gave in, knowing he was right. It was probably for the best and his safest chance at getting back home to Sam.

Once he'd changed into the provided fatigues he followed a somewhat nervous airman to the commissary where he welcomed a warm meal. The food revived him, restoring some of his energy and when he'd finished, he made another phone call to Colorado.

It was approximately 0800 and Dr. Summers wasn't in the infirmary but a nurse informed him that there was little change. He asked to speak with Sam but the nurse was hesitant to wake her, saying that she had had a restless night. Jack breathed a long sigh but decided that she was right and that Sam probably needed the rest more than she needed to talk to him. He asked the nurse to give Daniel the message that he was on his way to Peterson and then hung up the phone and headed for the airfield. With any luck he'd be at the SGC by around 1400 and he could check on her personally. That, he decided, was much preferred to a long distance phone call.

OoOoO

"Colonel Carter?"

The soft voice repeated in Sam's head until finally she opened her eyes.

"Hmmm?"

"Colonel Carter, you must awaken."

"What? What is it, Teal'c?"

"You require nourishment, Colonel Carter. It will serve to increase your strength."

"I don't want anything, Teal'c."

"Colonel Carter, O'Neill will be most displeased if he discovers that you are refusing sustenance. A warrior must fuel the body as the opportunity arises in order to be prepared for battle, is this not true?"

"Yes, Teal'c, but . . ."

"I will request that the nurse assist you."

"No, Teal'c. All right, I'll try to eat something. Where's Daniel?"

"Daniel Jackson is resting in his quarters."

"And the Colonel?"

Teal'c cocked his head slightly at her question. He knew that she had been informed of Jack's promotion in rank and was concerned that she had again forgotten this information. He paused for a moment, considering whether to correct her error and then decided against it, seeing no reason to cause her further concern.

"O'Neill is not on base at the moment but he will arrive shortly."

"Oh, yeah? What's he up to?" Sam squeezed the words in around bites of food, discovering as she began to eat, that she was really hungry.

"I am not aware of his activities, Colonel Carter."

"Slipping up, Teal'c?" She smiled broadly at him as the big Jaffa stood stoically near her bed. "I thought it was your turn to keep track of the Colonel."

Teal'c stared back at her calmly, carefully considering his answer in a long silence.

"No, Colonel Carter, I believe that in fact, it is your turn."

"Yeah, right!" Sam chuckled softly and continued to eat her lunch while Teal'c stood almost silent guard at her side, responding only if she asked a question or made a comment to him.

He did not express his concern or ask how she was feeling. He was simply there, his loyalty and concern expressed in that simple fact and Sam felt comforted at his willingness to allow her to direct their conversation or his acceptance of her silence, whichever she preferred.

He was sitting quietly beside her when Mitchell entered the infirmary.

"Hey, Sam! How's it going?"

Sam glanced at Teal'c to judge his reaction to Mitchell's appearance. He didn't seem surprised so Sam accepted this visit as normal.

"Colonel Mitchell. I'm fine, thank you."

Her tone was respectful but somewhat cool. The memories of Mitchell were vague at best but there was an underlying current of rage racing through her that she couldn't explain. Her mind sought the answers for those feelings but there was nothing that she could readily identify.

"Um. . . anything I can get for you? Need anything?"

"That's nice of you but no. My team is taking care of everything."

Mitchell turned a quick glance towards Teal'c and nodded briefly. "Oooook, well, just say the word if anything comes up. I'll be glad to help if I can."

Sam's forehead wrinkled as she squinted her eyes slightly at his apparent concern and then she glanced at Teal'c whose expression had not changed. Sam interpreted that to mean that her slight uneasiness was a product of the infection plaguing her mind and having become familiar with the slight confusion, dismissed it almost immediately.

She nodded and Mitchell smiled broadly at her for a few seconds before turning to leave the infirmary.

"Teal'c?"

"Yes, Colonel Carter?"

Suddenly Sam realized she didn't even know what to ask and bit down on her bottom lip in quiet thought. "Um, never mind. Nothing, I guess. I'm kind of tired. I think I'll take a nap."

"I will remain here."

Sam looked up into Teal'c's solemn face and smiled, grateful for the friendship that kept him at her side.

"Thanks, Teal'c but if you need to go, I'll be fine."

He dipped his head slowly as a small smile tugged at his features. Sam shifted into a comfortable position and closed her eyes, confident that he would remain in silent vigil beside her while she slept.

OoOoO

The elevator doors slide noisily open to allow Daniel and Jack to step free of the car. Jack moved hurriedly, his determination obvious in his stride. Not so easily apparent was the fact that he was focused on Daniel's voice, absorbing his rapid-fire briefing as they moved along. Daniel seemed to be talking even faster than usual as they made their way down the hall to the infirmary but Jack didn't miss a single word.

"For crying out loud, Daniel! Give me a break! I won't upset her!"

"But that's just it, Jack! She's already upset!"

"Well then, it won't be any different than the last time I was here, will it?"

"The last time you were alone together you…"

"…you weren't there, Daniel."

"You were fighting, Jack."

"I didn't come here to fight with her, Daniel! And sick or not, I think Sam is completely capable of telling me to leave if she doesn't want me here! Don't you?"

"You? Maybe. But I'm not she'll have the same reaction to General O'Neill or even Colonel O'Neill . . ."

Jack stopped in his tracks and turned to face Daniel with a stunned look tugging at his features. He hated to admit it but Daniel was right. Sam had always been respectful and if she truly believed that there was no personal relationship between them she would rely on her military training to dictate her response.

"Ok. You might have a point there."

"So?"

"So, I'll take it slow but I am going to see her."

"You should talk to Dr. Summers first, Jack. Let her explain it to you."

"You've already done that, Daniel. Look, I said I'd take it slow. I know you're worried about Sam. So am I. I'll be careful, ok?"

He patted Daniel on the shoulder, then turned and was moving towards the infirmary door before Daniel could speak again. Daniel watched as he disappeared inside and crossed his arms in thought, speaking aloud to no one in particular.

"I just hope you can do that, Jack. It might not be easy."

Jack stopped and took a deep breath as he entered the room. The infirmary was relatively quiet. Most of the beds were empty and it wasn't hard to figure out that the one with drawn curtains was hiding Sam. He made a final mental adjustment attempting to force his return to CO status and then started across the room.

He pushed aside the curtain and stepped into the small area where Sam lay. His eyes slowly searching over her, taking inventory of her condition and as he stopped at the foot of her bed a small smile spread across his lips. She was sleeping, although not peacefully and Teal'c stood silently at her side. Jack pulled his eyes away from her long enough to meet Teal'c's calm, dark eyes and he nodded slightly as Teal'c bowed in greeting then moved to his side.

"She doesn't look injured." Jack spoke barely above a whisper as he continued to watch Sam.

"The bullet penetrated her left shoulder."

Jack's eyes moved to that area and he could see the bulk of a bandage beneath the gown she wore.

"She seems restless. Is she drugged?"

"She is not and her sleep is frequently interrupted by nightmares."

"Nightmares?"

Jack turned as he felt a soft touch on his arm and saw that Dr. Summers was now standing beside him.

"Hello, General."

"Doctor. How is she?"

"She's very ill, General. Teal'c?"

"I will be outside, O'Neill."

"Thanks, T." Jack turned back to Dr. Summers and she could see the beginnings of tears in his concerned, dark eyes. "Well?"

"The poison from the bullet settled into a tiny lesion in her brain. The antibiotics are helping but they aren't stopping it completely. Plus, there's a chemical reaction with the naquadah in her blood stream that's causing the lesion to become inflamed and it's slowly increasing in size." Dr. Summers paused waiting for Jack to absorb her words as she watched him watching Sam. A single tear crawled down his tanned cheek and his knuckles were white from gripping the footboard of the bed.

"What can you do?"

"Well, continue the antibiotics and maybe surgery, but that's a last resort. For now, she's slipping back and forth. Her memories are erratic. . .sometimes changing very rapidly."

"Is she in pain?"

"It's mostly headaches, loss of appetite, general confusion due to the memory loss and of course, there's still a bit of pain from the actual wound but it's healing so nothing too severe."

Jack moved his hands, clasping them in front of him. Dr. Summers saw his jaw move as he clenched his teeth in an effort to maintain control and she waited patiently for him to speak, completely aware of the stress he must be feeling. His eyes were still locked on Sam and he was staring with such obvious affection that there was almost a tangible connection between them.

"Will she recognize me?"

"I believe so but it's possible that she won't. She has consistently recognized Teal'c and Dr. Jackson but doesn't seem to remember Colonel Mitchell."

Jack didn't speak or turn to look at her, he simply nodded his head showing that he understood.

"Why don't I leave you alone for a while and if you have questions later I'll be nearby. Just try not to upset her. She may say some odd things, General. Things that are years in the past to you may seem like yesterday to her."

This time he did look at her and took a deep breath as he did so, nodding his head again slowly. Dr. Summers patted him tenderly on the shoulder and left the room quickly, leaving him alone with Sam.

For a long time he stood there, totally still, at the foot of her bed watching as her chest rose and fell with each breath or she turned in her sleep restlessly. Her face contorted as if in pain and she moved an arm randomly, her fists clenching and her lips moving as if trying to speak but unable to find the words.

Finally, he moved to the side and carefully sat down beside her on the bed. Her body jerked slightly as the bed shifted with his weight and he placed his hand on her abdomen to calm her. She grasped his hand instinctively and held on as she turned her body towards him mumbling softly in her sleep.

He watched her for a long time as she settled back into sleep and his thumb rubbed soothingly against the back of her hand. He stared into her relaxed features wondering what dreams were playing behind her closed eyelids and how she'd react to him when she did awaken. Then his mind went further, worrying about the words Dr. Summers had spoken and if they would find a medicine to pull her back from the brink of darkness.

His thoughts wandered to all the mornings he watched her wake up beside him. Bright blue eyes peeking out from sleepy lids as she snuggled into him and entwined their bodies in a comforting embrace. He wanted to hold her now but knew he shouldn't, not yet. He pushed the hair away from her face and leaned in to press his lips against her forehead, closing his eyes and concentrating on that one small act of affection with his whole being.

He was just pulling away from her when she moved slightly and whispered, "Jack."

"It's ok, Sam, it's just me. Go back to sleep."

He moved his hand lightly through her hair, stroking it lightly as he'd done a hundred times before but this time she didn't still beneath his touch. She mumbled his name again and then her eyes were wide open. Brilliant blue pools of light were suddenly searching his face and then staring at him in confusion.

"Colonel?"

"Yeah, it's me. How ya doin'?"

"They told me you weren't here, Sir."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I wanted to be here but. . ."

"It's all right, Sir, I understand."

"I'm here, now and I'll be here as long as you need me."

"Sir…?"

"Yeah?"

Sam looked around the room as if checking to see if they were alone then she turned back to him speaking hesitantly.

"Um . . . did you just _kiss_ me?"

Jack pressed his lips together chiding himself for not controlling his emotions and causing her even more confusion.

"Um, yeah." He rubbed his thumb against her hand absently. "I guess I did."

When he looked up she was staring at him in wide-eyed disbelief but she was also squeezing his hand a bit tighter.

"You really shouldn't do that, Sir."

Jack smiled. He let the smile warm his face until the corners of her lips began to tug upwards in response. Then he leaned in close and whispered.

"Well then, don't tell anyone."

"I'm not . . . dying . . . am I?"

"No, Sam, of course not! You're going to be fine. Why would you think that?"

"Well . . . you don't usually . . ."

"All right, ok. I got a little carried away. You looked like you . . . could use a little . . ." He squirmed as his body communicated his search for the right word.

"Kiss it and make it better?"

Jack's eyebrows rose dramatically and he pointed at her with his index finger, smiling mischievously.

"Exactly!"

"Sir, I don't . . . remember what happened."

He could see the worry rising in her eyes almost as if a cloud had covered the sun and he hurried to reassure her that all was well.

"Don't worry about that, Sam, it's the infection. Dr. Summers says it's affecting your memory somehow but we're gonna fix it." He shrugged his shoulders and made a goofy face hoping she'd believe him and relax again. "So . . .how ya feelin? Any pain?"

"A little headache and my shoulder . . ." She lifted her shoulder testing the nagging pain she felt there. "Ow!"

"Easy, Carter. You were shot, too."

Her eyes snapped up to meet his again and he could feel her pulse increasing rapidly.

"Hey, it's ok. They're filling you up with antibiotics and you should feel better soon but you need to relax and rest all you can. Feel like telling me what you do remember?"

"I . . . I don't know, it's all mixed up . . ."

"Whenever you feel like it, then."

Sam shook her head slowly as her eyes filled with tears that she struggled to control. She looked down at their intertwined hands and squeezed lightly.

"Thank you, Sir."

Jack allowed a brilliant smile to color his features as his eyes kept contact with hers.

"You bet. Anything you need? Can I do anything?"

"Would you mind calling Pete, Sir? Let him know I'm here but won't be home."

Jack felt his breath catch in his chest as he searched her innocent eyes. He struggled to quickly control the many emotions that were threatening to break free. He had to maintain control.

"Um, Sam, that was . . ."

She was watching him closely as he stammered, the rest of his sentence dying on his lips. There was something in his eyes she hadn't expected, some deep emotion that she couldn't identify.

"I know you don't really like him, Sir and I'd ask Daniel," she continued slowly, "but he's not military . . . and since I don't remember or even know how long I've been here, I just thought . . ."

Jack had looked away, staring down at his feet and brushing at imaginary dust on his uniform.

"He's all right . . . isn't he?"

"I'm sure he's fine, Carter."

He stared at her for a long moment and then stood to his feet, squeezing her hand lightly as he released it and determined to do what was best for Sam and ignore his own feelings, however hard that might be. Back to denial.

"Sure . . . whatever you need. I'll . . . check on it."

"Thank you, Sir."

Jack nodded slowly as he continued to stare quietly into her eyes then without explanation he leaned in and placed another kiss on her forehead.

"I'll be back later, Sam. I have some reports to work on but you call if you need anything, ok?"

Sam shook her head slowly, eyes-wide at his actions and his obvious concern. His hand grasped hers for one final squeeze and for a moment she thought he was going to lift it to his lips but he stopped and simply released it, then turned and walked away.

She watched as he headed towards the door lifting one hand to his face as if brushing at something near his eyes and a sadness seemed to settle over her as he disappeared. She felt alone and vulnerable, something was wrong. . .something.

When he'd leaned in towards her, she'd expected him to kiss her, really kiss her not just brush his lips against her forehead but she had no idea why. And now with him gone, the silent fear was reaching out for her again and she pulled the blankets up close around her, curling into a ball, her mind racing through everything she could remember. Maybe Jack would get Pete clearance to visit and he would tell her what everyone else was hiding. She closed her eyes and felt the sting of warm tears against her eyelids as she drifted into troubled sleep.

OoOoO

Daniel was pacing quietly in the hallway outside the infirmary waiting for Jack to return. As he turned back towards the door, he saw him exit and stop, scrubbing both hands roughly across his face. His shoulders seemed to slump for a moment then he raised his head to look at the ceiling, shaking it slowly from side to side. Daniel approached quietly and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Are you ok, Jack?"

Jack turned and quickly lifted his eyebrows in some vague expression as his eyes met Daniel's.

"Yeah, just peachy."

"Is Sam ok?"

"She's . . . I guess . . . for the moment, yeah, she's ok."

"So, what happened?"

"She asked me to call Pete . . . let him know she won't be home."

"Oh , God, Jack, I'm sorry." Daniel watched quietly as Jack struggled silently with his emotions.

"Well, at least it wasn't Mitchell."

Daniel frowned, totally surprised by that comment.

"Um, I don't think I understand that."

"Neither do I, Daniel, just forget I said that."

"Ok. What are you going to do now?"

"See if I can find him."

"Pete?"

"Yeah."

"But Jack . . ."

Jack cut off his words with an impatient voice.

"Sam gets what she needs, Daniel. If it's Pete she needs then I intend to get him here."

"But Jack that was over a year ago and besides it will probably be different the next time she wakes up. She's been asking for you . . . she's never asked for Pete!"

Jack stared into his eyes with a look that was all too familiar to Daniel. It was the same look he had seen hundreds of times before, the all out fierce look of a warrior in pursuit of his enemy. He was about to speak again when Jack brushed past him and moved hurriedly down the hallway. Daniel stood frozen for a moment then started to jog to catch up, calling out to Jack as he stepped inside the elevator.

"If you want to help, Daniel, that's great. You can start by finding Pete Shanahan."

"Jack!" Daniel paused but decided it was best not to anger Jack right now, he was obviously almost overcome with worry for Sam and trying to do what he could to help.

"Ok, Jack. I'll find him."

Jack nodded and released the door, allowing it to close in front of him. As the car began to move Jack leaned his head against the wall, banging it softly against the cool metal.

_TBC -_


	16. Reflections

**Convolutions - Chapter 16. Reflections**

Author: Maggie Eaton

Content Warnings: Profanity, Violence.

Spoilers:Evolution, Season 7, Season 9

Summary: As Sam's illness continues to revive past experiences, including her relationship with Pete, Jack decides he can't let her go.

Author's Note: As always, any and all mistakes are my own. Copyright (c) 2005 Maggie Eaton

**Chapter 16. Reflections**

Jack stepped off the elevator and headed for his office then he realized it wasn't his office anymore. He stood in the hallway for a moment and then continued. He needed to brief Landry anyway, might as well do it now.

He visited with Hank Landry for a short while, exchanging all the normal pleasantries and questions on Sam's condition then he addressed the Kassem mission. He didn't give Hank any more detail than absolutely necessary, bending the truth more than once when he told him how he'd come by this new information and expressing his desire that the SGC monitor this area of the world. Jack wasn't at all sure that he'd eliminated the threat, even if that contradicted what he'd told the President. He wanted to send a team to investigate; the problem was he didn't know where to send them just yet.

Landry assured him they'd have a team ready whenever the intel was available and after advising Jack that his VIP quarters were ready the two generals went about their separate tasks.

Jack stopped by the infirmary to check on Sam and then made his way to his quarters. He opened the laptop that Hank had provided then sat down to check messages and work on his report.

He could see that Alan Baker seemed to have everything under control as he scanned the latest flash messages and memos. This was as calm as it was likely to get and Jack relaxed a bit as he noted that random attacks and bombings were now almost nonexistent. He sent Alan a short message on one of the alerts that had popped up and then settled in to write his mission report.

Ninety long minutes later he was finished and the report was on its way to the President's desk along with his request to remain at Cheyenne Mountain until further notice. A few minutes later Jack had taken a quick shower and was crawling into bed.

He lay awake and staring at the ceiling for several minutes thinking about Sam and the events of the past few weeks until finally his exhaustion overpowered him and he fell into a deep sleep.

OoOoO

Five hours later Jack jerked awake to the touch of a hand on his shoulder and a firm but polite voice calling, "General?"

"What? What is it?"

"Dr. Summers is requesting your presence in the infirmary, Sir."

Now he was totally awake. His body already moving to free itself of the sheets and blankets that covered him.

"What's going on? Is Sam all right?"

"I'm not sure, Sir. They just called from the infirmary. Anything I can help with, Sir?"

"Get the elevator, I'll be right there!"

The airman moved out the door and Jack was half dressed before he closed it. If not for the boots he'd have been only a step behind him. Tugging hastily at the last tie he grabbed his jacket and headed at a jog for the elevator.

He stepped out on the level where the infirmary was housed and stopped immediately, the airman accompanying him also stopped and stared down the hallway. Sam was yelling. Not screaming, yelling. Carter, his Carter, was exercising her command persona in all her outraged, frustrated, glory (did I mention the yelling?) arguing and barking out orders in a way that was reminiscent of another SGC colonel. Jack turned to look at the airman for a split second before he started running towards the doorway and disappeared inside.

"Dammit, I don't care if it's the middle of the night! We are not just leaving him there! Do you understand that? I am fine! Now let go of me! Airman, get Teal'c and Daniel in here!"

"Colonel, please! You must calm down. You aren't well enough to leave and I assure you that General O'Neill is fine."

"You don't even know his proper rank for God's sake and you expect me to believe you? Now, let go, Doctor! I have work to do!"

"Colonel, please!"

"Airman! I am ordering you . . ."

Her voice died on the air as Jack appeared in the doorway. He caught hold of the door jam, swinging himself inside and stopped just short of the bed, staring wide-eyed at the scene in front of him. Dr. Summers and two rather large male orderlies were physically restraining her, having a hard time of it too, as she attempted to break free.

"Sir?"

"Hey, Carter. What's going on?"

His eyes were moving rapidly between Sam and Dr. Summers as he tried to decide exactly what was happening. The men had already loosened their hold on her as she stopped struggling and was now motionless, her gaze fixed on Jack. He stood still for a moment waiting for her to respond and could see the confusion beginning to set in. He moved closer and motioned for the orderlies to step aside but they waited for the confirmation from Dr. Summers before backing off. Then the three of them moved away slowly and allowed Jack to move beside Sam.

"Sir . . . I thought . . ."

"What?" He smiled as reassuringly as possible, forcing his concerns into the background for her sake.

"That you were . . . I thought you were trapped in Antarctica!"

"I was. Thor got me out."

He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly, her hand came up automatically to touch his.

"Thor?"

"Yeah, Carter. I'm fine. You ok?"

"Um . . . yeah. I guess."

"Still want to see Daniel and Teal'c. I'll get them if you want."

"No . . . it's ok, Sir."

Jack looked at Dr. Summers and cocked his head slightly in silent question. She indicated for the orderlies to leave and after a moment, turned and followed leaving them alone.

Jack's tone was soft and comforting as he spoke to her.

"Are you really ok, Sam?"

"I'm . . . a bit confused, Sir. I can't . . . I was . . ."

". . .worried about me and wanted to help? I know, Sam. It's all over now and I'm fine. You did everything humanly possible."

Sam pressed her lips together silently, her forehead still wrinkled in thought and a worried expression in her eyes. Then she looked down, shook her head and looked up again, a small smile spreading across her tired features.

"General?"

Jack chuckled warmly at the surprise in her voice.

"Yeah. Go figure!" He squeezed her shoulder again and then rubbed his hand up and down the bare skin of her arm. She was a bit surprised but didn't pull away when his hand slipped around hers. "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

He was smiling but she could see the concern in his eyes. Everything seemed just a tad out of place to her, wrong . . . somehow. He started to move away but she held onto his hand tugging slightly and causing him to turn back towards her.

"Sir? Why are you still here?"

"I was sleeping, Carter. In my quarters."

"Could you stay for a while? Just a little while . . . ?"

An unfamiliar vulnerability was apparent in her eyes and Jack didn't stand a chance against it. All of his protective genes kicked in. If she was worried enough to ask for his help, he certainly wasn't going to refuse.

"Sure, if you want." He let go of her hand and pulled a chair closer to her bedside then he tucked the covers around her tapping her nose lightly with his finger before he sat down. "But you have to promise that you'll try to sleep. You need the rest. Ok?"

She nodded her head and smiled at him, a touch of the normal glimmer returning to her eyes. The depth of feeling in them seemed to expand as Jack reached out for her hand again, closing it protectively in his own.

"Sir?"

"In the morning, Sam. There'll be plenty of time for questions later. Sleep now."

She didn't answer just snuggled down a bit deeper under the covers, pulled his hand close against her and closed her eyes.

He held onto her hand, stroking it lightly and a few minutes later her breathing leveled out and her body relaxed into sleep. Jack watched her for a long time, studying her face as he traced slow, lazy circles on the back of her hand. She was pale and hot from the fever that still plagued her but at least she was still alive. As long as she was alive there was a chance and Jack O'Neill wasn't known to give up easily.

He was searching his unique knowledge, methodically replaying every memory, trying to recall any advanced technology or even a random medicine man they'd encountered in their years of travel through the Stargate, anyone that might help her. He even tried to tap into the ancient knowledge that had, on more than one occasion, controlled his brain. He had healed Bra'tac easily when he'd possessed that knowledge but try as he might, he couldn't tap into that connection.

Sam started to move about in her sleep, trying to adjust her body and he could see stray emotions tugging at her features. She was squinting her eyes and biting on her bottom lip just the way she did when she was trying to solve some inexplicable galactic puzzle. He watched until she was still again and not wanting to disturb her rest, began to slip his hand out of hers, pulling away slowly from her now relaxed grasp. Just as his fingers brushed lightly against hers she grabbed onto him, holding his hand with much more strength that he would've expected.

"Sir?"

Her voice was little more than a whisper but clearly indicative of something very close to desperation. He quickly closed his fingers around hers eclipsing her small hand in his own.

"I'm here, Sam."

There was a moment of silence in which he thought she'd drifted back into sleep but then a mumbled plea escaped her tender lips.

". . . don't let go."

He watched her for a moment and then moved closer pressing his face against her cheek and running slightly trembling fingers through her hair. As his lips pressed a soft kiss against her cheek, he whispered.

"Never."

It was barely 0600 when Daniel walked into the infirmary, stopping short as he looked up at Sam's bed. She was sleeping and for the first time since she'd been here, she seemed to be peaceful, actually resting. Jack was still beside her. The bed had been lowered and he leaned over it from the chair, his head resting comfortably against Sam. One of his arms was draped casually across her body and the other was holding on to her hand. Daniel smiled hoping that their relaxed, almost intimate postures meant that Sam was better and that somehow Jack had worked his particular brand of magic on her.

For a few minutes he just stood there watching them sleep. She was lying on her side and it looked as if she'd curled herself around him. From where he stood, it was difficult to tell who was comforting whom. It wasn't often he'd observed them like this. When they'd been on missions Jack was so keyed to the slightest abnormality that he would often awake if you watched him for more than a few seconds and once his and Sam's relationship had finally begun to blossom they had kept it very private, always maintaining their professionalism while on base.

Daniel became aware of quiet footsteps approaching and turned quickly, lifting a single finger to his lips. The nurse looked back at him in surprise and then nodded as he started towards her.

"Sorry, I didn't want to wake them. Has he been here all night?"

"Colonel Carter became distressed during the night and Dr. Summers sent for the general. He's been here since then. I was just about to wake him so that the doctor wouldn't be upset that he's still here. She seemed concerned that General O'Neill also needed to rest."

"Ah! Well, he seems to be resting but if you insist, why don't you let me? He . . . um, sometimes . . . well, it's probably better if you just . . . let me."

He smiled charmingly and the nurse returned his smile as she nodded her head in agreement.

"Thank you."

Daniel turned and started back across the room to where Jack and Sam were sleeping. It seemed such a waste to wake him. The medical staff just didn't understand that Jack's quality of sleep was probably a hundred times better here, in a chair beside Sam, than it would be in his quarters. Daniel approached Jack cautiously and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. In a voice only slightly above a whisper, he spoke.

"Jack."

Then he waited. When there was no immediate response he spoke again softly.

"Your watch, Jack."

Jack didn't move but his muscles tensed a bit and Daniel's practiced eye took note realizing that he was now awake.

"Coming, Daniel."

"Um, no. Sorry, Jack, it's ok. The nurses want you to go and get some rest."

Jack slowly lifted his arm moving it away from Sam and then carefully untangled his hand from hers. His dark eyes studied Sam's face and a small smile involuntarily tugged at his lips as he ran a gentle hand across her hair before sitting back in the chair.

"I'm fine, Daniel."

"Breakfast?"

Jack shook his head slowly as he stood and gently guided Daniel away from the bed.

"I don't want to leave just yet. Where's the doc?"

"Not here, yet."

"Then get the nurse, her fever's up again."

"Jack, you were asleep. How can you know that?"

Jack tilted his head in that 'do as I say or I'll kick you ass' look and Daniel raised a hand to stop his response.

"Ok, ok, I'm going."

Dr. Summers arrived before Daniel returned and after a quick check went to make changes to Sam's medication. Once the medication had been administered Dr. Summers requested a word with Jack in her office. He agreed only after Daniel assured him that he would stay with Sam.

"General, I think it's time we told Colonel Carter who you are."

"She already knows who I am, Doc."

"No, Sir. I mean . . . I think it's time you tell her that you're her husband. I think Sam needs to know the truth and I know that it will be less stressful for you."

"I don't know. Won't that upset her? I mean, for cryin' out loud she asked me to call her boyfriend!"

"That's just a result of the infection, General. You have to realize that her memories are still there. . . well, at least I think most of them are. They are however, jumbled in such a way that she can't interpret them correctly. Some are very vivid and completely intact while others are just bits and pieces. A word or phrase may be clearly remembered but the situation in which it occurred is totally lost. She may even think that she's remembering a dream. It's a pretty scary thing when you can't identify reality."

Jack was completely silent as Karen Summers watched him. She knew it must be very difficult for him to be so concerned about Sam and have her ask for another man's comfort. She didn't believe that Sam actually wanted that to happen, now all she had to do was convince the general. She sat calmly waiting but he didn't appear to have anything to say.

"Sir, I really think it's for the best. If surgery is necessary I will need your permission."

Jack looked up and Karen saw something near terror flash across his features. He stood up immediately and began to pace in the small room.

"Sam would want to make her own decision."

"I understand that, Sir but she may not be able to do that right now."

"No, I don't think it's a good idea. Not yet anyway. She doesn't remember, Doc and if there's one thing I know about Sam it's that she has a stubborn streak a mile wide. If she can't remember for herself she won't believe me."

"She trusts you, General. Daniel tells me he's looking for Pete Shanahan. Surely you're not thinking of bringing him here?"

Jack looked down at the floor, rubbing a hand across his face as his footsteps suddenly stopped and he made a mental note to beat the crap out of Daniel.

"Yeah, if that's what she wants."

Karen could hear the sadness in his voice and it upset her more than she expected.

"Sir, with all due respect, I don't think that's a good idea. Sam's memories seem to be different each time she awakens . . . sometimes even without sleep, they seem to change as the fever increases or any crisis occurs. There's no pattern, no filing system. She's being subjected to random memories that are totally disjointed and popping into her mind with no control whatsoever. And what about Shanahan? How is he supposed to respond to this? You can't tell him what happened to her. Is he even aware that the two of you are married? No, Sir. I don't think it's a good idea. As a matter of fact I think it's a very bad idea for all concerned." Karen took a deep breath half expecting Jack to come down on her like a ton of bricks but he remained quiet, almost motionless. "I know that you are trying to do what's best for her, Sir but you are the only constant element. It's not Pete that Sam is clinging to, Sir, it's you."

"You sure of that, Doc?"

"Well, yes. Aren't you?"

"We weren't getting on so well before this happened."

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry to hear that, General but it's good that you've resolved it."

"That's just it, Doc. We haven't."

"Then all the more reason to tell her. I know this charade of playing her CO is wearing thin on you. Just think about it, Sir. I'll be happy to help in any way that I can."

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets, mumbled his thanks and quickly left the room. In a matter of minutes he was standing at the foot of Sam's bed staring into her peaceful face. Daniel was sitting quietly in the chair beside her. When Jack continued to stand at the foot of the bed, Daniel rose to join him.

"Everything ok, Jack?"

Jack shrugged his shoulders and never took his eyes off Sam.

"So, what did the doctor say? Is there any change?"

"She wants me to tell her."

"Tell her? Tell her what?"

"That we're married."

"Oh." There was a long pause before Daniel spoke again. "When are you going to tell her?"

"Who said I was?"

"Jack!"

"I'm not sure she wants to hear that, Daniel. Or that she'll believe it."

"She does. And she will."

Daniel's voice was filled with confidence and Jack believed his sincerity but that wouldn't make the task any easier. As usual, the timing was crappy and her asking for Pete hadn't helped. His stomach twisted into knots at the thought of the man. He'd almost lost her once. Those had been black days. Days of pretending that he was happy she'd found someone, of avoiding her in the hallways and trying to convince himself that he didn't care. He'd thought those days were gone forever but if she couldn't remember . . . or didn't want to remember. He winched internally and then slammed a steel door shut against those thoughts as he looked up into Daniel's concerned face.

"Look, Daniel I need to check on some things, can you stay with her?"

"Uh, sure, Jack. You should get some food, too. I'll call if anything changes."

"Thanks. I won't be too long."

OoOoO

"Sam? Hey! How ya doing?"

"Hey. Uh, I'm uh . . . I'm . . . I'm not sure."

"It's ok, Sam. You're in the infirmary."

"What. . . what happened?"

Daniel put his book aside and began to patiently repeat the story for her. He included all the details, the rescue mission, their approach to the village, how she was wounded and the trip home. Then he continued with fewer details of the infection and how it was affecting her memory. He smiled and tried his best to assure her that everything was going to be ok; it would just take some time.

She tried to smile when he'd finished but he could see the confusion as she tried to put the pieces together in her own mind. As her stress intensified he tried to distract her with small talk relating humorous bits of gossip and the day-to-day happenings she had missed. She was eating a light lunch when she stopped suddenly and asked how long she'd been back from the Prometheus mission. And the next question was about Jacob.

Daniel stopped reading abruptly at the mention of Jacob's name and after a momentary wrinkling of his brow, calmly filled in the blanks with appropriate information. He told her that Jacob had been to see her after she returned to the SGC but that he had been called away on another mission. True but not . . . everything. She seemed to accept it but there also seemed to be signs of worry in her eyes as she stopped eating and lay back against her pillows staring blankly at the walls around her.

OoOoO

Jack was on autopilot, moving through the familiar hallways without thought or even a glance at the people he encountered along the way. He went directly to his quarters and closing the door behind him allowed his conversation with Dr. Summers to replay in his mind. Then he moved calmly across the room and opened his duffel. He reached deep into the bag and pulled out a small box, opening it as soon as his hand was free of the bag. He held it there for a long time staring at the gold band that rested inside. Then he slid down into a chair and worried it between his slender fingers. As his mind wandered slowly through the recent past the ring moved constantly in his agile hands, twisting and rolling as his fingers tinkered with it endlessly. Then suddenly, he stopped and purposely laid it on the table moving quietly to his laptop.

It was almost four hours before he'd finished his work and as he stood he stretched his long frame, trying to ease the kinks from sitting for so long. He didn't usually remain still this long but since being assigned to the Pentagon he had grown accustomed to staying behind his desk for long hours. He glanced at his watch and started towards the door. He was just about to step into the hallway when he stopped and turned, moving back to the desk. He released a deep sigh and closed the laptop then reached down and picked up the ring, sliding it easily onto his finger. Scooping up the laptop with one hand he headed back to the infirmary to check on Sam.

OoOoO

Jack remained at her side for the next twenty-four hours leaving only as necessary to eat or make phone calls while Daniel or Teal'c filled in. He was sitting on the foot of her bed, the laptop resting on the tray table, checking his messages and typing in replies. He was smiling slightly as he thought of how unusual this scene was for them. Usually it was Sam on the computer while he thought of ways to distract her and pull her attention away from her work.

Yeah, things had changed. His life had changed. He had no choice but to embrace the computer world that he had avoided for so long. The information that he required was there, the updates, messages, troop movements and orders could be at his fingertips with the touch of a key. He shook his head slightly and was glad that at least now he had an aide to handle most of the paperwork, usually adding only his signature for approval.

Sam was quietly watching him and he occasionally turned a smile in her direction, the warmth in his eyes wrapping around her like a comforting embrace as their eyes locked and held a momentary connection. She felt safe with Jack close by and not for the first time, she wondered why he was here. It seemed to her that he'd been here almost every time she was awake and even though SG-1 had always watched over each other . . . this seemed different somehow.

Teal'c and Daniel had also been by to visit her a short time ago but no one had mentioned Pete. She assumed that due to security he wouldn't be allowed to visit her and thought maybe the Colonel was trying to make up for that by keeping her company. He worked hard to maintain his grumpy Colonel routine but she knew he'd do almost anything for his team. She sighed audibly and watched as he turned towards her.

"What?"

She shook her head and tried to brighten her smile hoping it would relieve the obvious concern in his eyes.

"Tired?"

"A little."

"Want me to go?"

"No."

"Need anything?"

She thought a hug would be nice but their military relationship nixed that so she just shook her head and pouted slightly.

"Get some sleep then.

He let one hand slide from the keyboard and gently squeezed her foot. She allowed a small smile and wondered if he'd always touched her like this; if that look in his eyes had always been there. He was massaging her foot now and the pleasant, relaxing sensations were spreading slowly up her legs and across her body. She kept her eyes on him even as her lids grew heavy, her mind questioning the stars on his collar for only a moment before she slipped into the quiet darkness of sleep.

An hour or so later she had awakened again and pushed aside the covers complaining about the overly warm temperature in the room. The nurses insisted that it was the result of her fever and administered more medication through the I.V. tube. Her bare feet were now resting comfortably against Jack's thigh as he typed away at the laptop.

She thought it must be a new game that kept him staring at the screen so diligently and didn't realize that she'd begun to rub her foot slowly along his thigh.

Jack, however, had noticed. He looked up as the foot suddenly stilled. The look on her face provoked a confused smirk on his as he watched silently and waited for her to speak.

"Are you going after Daniel?"

Jack stared at her wondering how to answer. It was a guess each time as to what her mind was piecing together and he'd found himself drawn into several traumatic past events without warning. He'd also noticed that he was repeating answers several times, just as Daniel had.

He had a fifty-fifty chance of being wrong but decided that he would normally answer yes to that question, so he did.

"Yeah."

"Good."

"You'll be all right?"

Something was nagging at Jack as he cautiously answered her question. He didn't know where this conversation was heading or why he needed to go after Daniel. The only thing that came to mind was when Daniel had been kidnapped in Honduras and he'd gone after him while she was assigned a mission to Anubis' super soldier base with Jacob and Teal'c. So, holding her gaze locked with his own, he waited patiently for her to reply.

"I'll be fine, Sir."

He nodded and closed the laptop, preparing to leave the room if that's what she expected but when he looked back at her she was staring at him intently, a strange dreamy look brewing in her eyes.

"What about you, Sir?"

He cocked his head and waited.

"If things had been different . . .?"

Jack stared back into her deep, blue eyes as the conversation came back to him. He had known something was going on with her and made up an excuse to drop by her lab. For whatever reason, this had been the time she'd chosen to show him the engagement ring from Pete. Then their conversation had turned to the choices made in their personal lives and she had asked that same question. He remembered exactly what he'd said.

His mind was working overtime as he stared at her silently. Had his answer pushed her into Pete's arms? Had this conversation been the deciding factor in her decision to marry Pete? His heart was racing as he stood motionless in front of her penetrating stare and all he could think was _'don't screw this up, Jack.'_

Was she asking him if there was a chance for them? The conversation was the same but things were different then and he'd had no right to stop her from trying to find the happiness she deserved. He knew he couldn't just stand by and let her walk away again. Even though he knew they were only having this conversation because of her illness and even if she confessed her undying love for Pete, he didn't want to let her go. Not this time. And then he remembered her words as she held onto his hand and slowly fell into a troubled sleep. She had asked him not to let go.

She was beginning to smile as she watched him, waiting impatiently for his answer and he knew he was running out of time. He should answer her. He just needed to find the right words.

His eyes seemed to darken with unspoken emotions as he continued to gaze into her eyes and when he finally spoke his voice was soft but confident.

"If things had been different, Carter, I wouldn't have waited so long."

As he paused she tipped her chin upward slightly and leaned in towards him as she waited for him to finish his thoughts.

"I would have taken you dancing and sent you dozens of roses. I would have taken you on long vacations to tropical beaches and romantic weekends in the mountains. And if I'd even dreamed you'd say yes, I would have asked you to marry me a whole lot sooner."

TBC -

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	17. Fractured Memories

Thanks to all of you for your reviews! Special thanks to Lilly for her encouragement and laughter! Only a friend would help me decide on a chapter title at 2:00 am. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

Archive: Jackfic yes, Note: As always, any and all mistakes are my own.

_Previously –_

_"I would have taken you dancing and sent you dozens of roses. I would have taken you on long vacations to tropical beaches and romantic weekends in the mountains. And if I'd even dreamed you'd say yes, I would have asked you to marry me a whole lot sooner."_

**Chapter 17. Fractured Memories**

Sam sat motionless, eyes wide and staring in surprise at the man she considered her commanding officer. Her mouth moved slightly as her brain tried to form single syllable words but no sound was forthcoming. He was just standing there, apparently unaffected by the words he had just spoken. His gaze was intense, locked tightly on her face as he waited for her response. She was in shock. The man never even shared what he had for lunch and now this? In the middle of the infirmary? Well, she _had_ asked the question but she'd never expected . . .what had she expected?

She'd been thinking about Pete and their relationship, considering his marriage proposal as she watched Jack sitting quietly on the foot of her bed. She'd been glancing nervously around the infirmary wondering what the gossip mill was turning out regarding his apparent vigil and suddenly realized that she didn't care. She wanted him here. His presence stilled the raging chaos of her mind, filling her with a sense of warmth and contentment. At first she'd thought it was just his alpha-male attitude that calmed her when she felt so vulnerable but then she realized there was more to it than that. The feelings she had long harbored for him had resurfaced and were the primary reason for her doubts regarding Pete. She had longed for a normal life and the Colonel had actually ordered her to "get a life." Even then, she hadn't actively sought out a relationship, it had just happened and Pete had filled all the requirements. Almost.

After what seemed an eternity, she managed a few shocked words.

"Sir . . . we can't . . ."

"Why not?"

"Um . . ." Was he was intentionally confusing her? He knew perfectly well why they couldn't have any sort of relationship. "Well, . . . there's the regulations, Colonel."

"General."

"What?"

"General, not Colonel."

Her brow furrowed deeply as she watched him lift a corner of his jacket, waggling it to draw her attention to the star that resided there but never releasing her from his unwavering gaze.

"You're not in my chain of command anymore, Sam. And we can."

"I'm sorry, Sir, I didn't . . ."

"I know. You don't remember."

"No, Sir." She shook her head slightly, expressing much more than her agreement with his statement. "I don't remember your promotion but I do remember that I'm engaged to Pete and that we've probably already had this discussion. Although I hope it was somewhere off base . . .we really shouldn't be discussing this here, Sir. Or . . . at all."

"Sam . . ." Jack's voice hinted of frustration as he moved to sit beside her on the bed and took her hand in his. "You aren't engaged, Sam. You're married."

She sucked in a deep breath and her eyebrows rose dramatically as her head continued to shake slightly in disagreement.

"Yes. You are. You know I wouldn't lie to you. You trust me, don't you?"

"Of course, Sir, but . . . I would not forget my wedding! And if I'm married why hasn't Pete been to see me? Where is he?"

Jack squeezed her hand and smiled his most loving smile as he spoke quietly to her.

"You aren't married to Pete, Sam."

Surprised blue eyes flashed a moment of total confusion before he continued.

"You're married to me."

He held onto her hand and raised his other to her cheek, caressing her skin beneath his fingers and letting them draw soft lines down to her neck. Their eyes were locked as his thumb moved slowly against her warm skin. She moved a shaking hand to cover his and pulled it away from her neck, holding it firmly as she stared down at the band of gold that surrounded his finger. She immediately lifted her own hand and found it bare.

"You were on a mission when you were injured. You weren't wearing your ring. It's probably in your locker." His voice was calm hoping to soothe her as she struggled with reality.

Without warning she pushed him away. He stood but didn't move too far away. He had no intention of leaving.

"No. No! I would remember. It must be some time warp or . . .or, or alternate reality!"

"Sam . . ."

"Get out! I wouldn't forget! I couldn't . . ."

"Sam, you've been ill! You're not choosing to forget. It's just out of your control right now, that's all!"

"Please, Colonel . . . General. Just go!"

"No."

"What?"

"I said . . . no. I'm not leaving you, Sam. Not now. Not ever. Unless you think you can bodily throw me out of here, I'm staying."

"Dammit, Jack!"

Jack smiled. She was still in there somewhere he just had to find her, try somehow to trigger her memories, defeat the poison in her system and help her remember.

"Nothing you can say or do is making me leave here, Sam!"

Their voices were getting progressively louder and a few of the nurses had stopped to listen. They had seen Colonel Carter become extremely agitated in recent days and they were on alert for any unusual behavior.

"Just get out and leave me alone, Jack. I need to think!"

He was watching her carefully trying to decide the exact location of that fine line he shouldn't cross. The one that would make things between them worse instead of better and might send her spiraling into a dark pit of confusion where she'd stop fighting the illness that was threatening her. He could tell her heart was pounding, her system probably flooded with adrenalin and her muscles tight from the tension.

"You can think with me here. I _want_ to be here for cryin' out loud!"

"You . . . are not Jack O'Neill! He would never say that to me! And he wouldn't lie to me."

"Which is the reason for this conversation! Baby, please, take it easy. I swear it's true!"

She shook her head and stared back at him.

"Don't you "baby" me, Jack! You know I hate that!"

A sudden realization struck him as he heard her tone of voice and he laughed.

She stared at him open mouthed and wide eyed unable to believe that he was laughing when she was so furious.

He was still laughing when the pitcher of water from her bedside table sailed dangerously close to his head and splattered across the infirmary floor. Several nurses came running but stopped short, staring in surprise at the two of them, Sam, obviously in a rage and Jack laughing.

"Is everything all right, Sir?"

The nurse's voice was a bit timid as she looked between them and the spilled contents of the pitcher on the floor.

"Everything's fine, Lieutenant. If she'd intended to hit me with that thing you'd be picking me up off the floor."

"Whatever you say, Sir. Colonel Carter?"

Sam shot a glare at Jack before she answered.

"Fine, Lieutenant."

The nurses went back to their duties and the room was quiet again. Jack moved to sit next to Sam.

"Sam?"

"What?"

She was pouting and Jack couldn't stop the smile that tugged at his lips.

"How would I know?"

"How would you know what?"

She tugged at the sheet angrily trying to loosen it where he had sat down.

"How would I know you hate being called "baby"?"

Silence.

Her blue eyes betrayed the anxiety and confusion she was feeling as they searched his. He waited. She turned away, her eyes still moving rapidly but looking at nothing in particular as she tried to reason out his question.

Finally she turned to face him again. She was still upset but no longer angry. Silently she reached for his hand and traced one finger along his wedding band looking up at him with mixed emotions.

"Married?"

Jack smiled and nodded.

"Married."

"Damn! I don't remember. How can I not remember?"

"So, it's ok? Being married, I mean. You done throwing things at me for awhile?"

Sam chuckled and then turned adoring eyes upwards until they met Jack's.

"Yeah, it's ok. Better than ok. I just wish I remembered."

"You will. We just need to get you well. And if you don't remember, well, I'll just have to win you over again."

"That might be fun."

"Loads of fun!"

They smiled at each other and Jack saw something in her eyes that he hadn't seen for far too long. He pulled her into a gentle hug and held her close not caring about the few still lingering souls who watched. He let go slowly until she was again resting against the bed and then slipped in to sit next to her. She turned into his shoulder and he wrapped a protective arm around her.

"Will you stay?"

"With you? Absolutely. Here? No."

She raised her head so that she could look into his face.

"Protocol?"

"That's part of it but mainly it's that you may not remember any of this once you fall asleep and waking up next to me might be . . ."

"Nice? Comfortable?"

"I was thinking . . . confusing."

"What if I don't remember tomorrow . . .?"

"Doesn't matter, I'll tell you again . . .and again until you do."

"I'll still trust you, Jack. I think I always have."

They stayed that way for a long time, Sam asking questions and Jack answering them patiently. She asked about Jacob again and Jack felt his chest clinch momentarily as he chose his words. She had enough to deal with right now and he didn't want her to relive that pain just yet so he told her he didn't know where Jacob was. It bordered on a lie but could still be construed as the truth; he'd deal with the consequences of that later.

When she began to sag heavily against him he stroked her back and felt the heat rising in her body so he pressed the call button. The nurse appeared and injected medication into the I.V. and after briefly checking her vitals disappeared behind the curtains again.

"Headache?"

"Yeah."

Her voice was barely a whisper against his chest.

"Time for sleep. Let the medicine do its work."

She nodded and squeezed his waist as he gently slid away from her. He cradled her with his arms until she was again lying against the head of the bed and then lowered it into sleeping position.

He sat beside her, holding her hand and reluctant to let her drift into sleep knowing that when she awoke she wouldn't remember. He leaned in close and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, brushing her hair behind her ear and smiling as her eyes opened.

"I love you, Sam."

"I know. I love you, too."

And then sleep captured her and he was left alone with that thought.

OoOoO

Daniel stepped out of his car and headed toward the security doors, glancing around him as he moved. He sensed someone watching and slowed his steps, coming to a halt as his eyes searched the nearby areas. It was still dark but the early rays of morning light were just reaching for the horizon, kissing the mountaintop with early morning splendor.

He glanced at the guard who lifted an arm, pointing to an area just ahead of him and Daniel took a few more cautious steps. His eyes searched the wooded area surrounding the entrance and finally his eyes fell upon something that didn't quite fit. A slight movement focused his eye on the spot where Jack was standing, leaning actually, against a tree waiting for the sunrise.

For one horrible moment Daniel's heart caught in his throat as he caught sight of Jack, wondering if his presence here meant that Sam's condition had deteriorated during the night, or worse yet, she had lost her battle against the poison and Jack had sought solace in these isolated surroundings. He stood for a few moments just watching and then moved quietly to Jack's side.

"Hey, Jack. What are you doing here?"

Jack turned and in the near darkness Daniel could just make out the shadow of a smile on his face and relaxed slightly.

"Just getting a breath of air. Doc threatened to ban me from the infirmary if I didn't get out of there for a while so I thought I'd take a walk. Sunrise is a sort of sign, don't you think? That everything's going to be ok?"

Daniel grinned and crossed his arms.

"Yes. Yes, I do, Jack."

There was a long silence as the two men watched the sun slip above the horizon and scatter its warming light on the ground beneath them.

"You ok, Jack? Sam ok?"

"She was sleeping when I left but Doc thinks she's slipping a little. There's no improvement."

Daniel saw the tension increase in Jack's lanky form as he spoke softly and continued to stare into the distance. He sensed the subtle signs of resignation and searched his mind for something uplifting to say.

"They're still working on the antidote, you know. It takes time but they'll find something."

Jack nodded but didn't speak.

"Well, at least she knows the situation now . . . about the two of you, I mean."

"Yeah."

Jack's voice was matter-of-fact as he resisted telling Daniel that he'd gone through that same scene with her three of four times now over the last few days, each one producing a slightly different reaction. She'd asked about Pete again, too and that fact was nagging at him even as he reminded himself that she was sick and not in control of her actions.

"So . . . did you take care of the problem?"

"Problem?"

"Yeah, whatever you were doing before . . . when we couldn't reach you. I assumed it was something important."

Jack straightened and slipped his hands into his pockets stretching his shoulders back as he spoke.

"Temporarily. I have a feeling it will surface again."

"Oh? Where were you, Jack?"

"Classified, Daniel."

"Ah! Yes, of course. Well, Sam was trying to call you before she was wounded you know."

"Yeah?"

Daniel smiled as he heard the slight change in Jack's voice that told him he'd just relieved a bit of worry.

"Yeah. She tried to call before we left on the mission and when we got back well, she was desperate to find you. That's when she did the number on the SF's and General Landry."

Jack looked at him with his face void of expression. His eyes moved up and down his length as if trying to see beneath the surface of his skin until finally a slight grin tugged at his lips.

"Um, yeah . . . Hank filled me in."

"Oh, good!"

"How was she doing in the field, Daniel?"

"Um . . . fine. Great!"

"Nothing unusual?"

"Um, no, Jack, not that I can think of. Why?"

"Run into any Goa'uld lately?"

"Well, there was that thing with . . . Ba'al, but nothing since then."

"Ah! Good."

Silence surrounded them again as Jack turned back to survey the early morning and Daniel watched him closely. He'd changed since his promotion but Daniel could still detect the signs of nagging worry and apparently not all of it was related to Sam. He had both admired and detested Jack's ability to control his emotions and disguise the turnings on of his complicated mind. Watching him now, a seed of concern worked its way into Daniel's consciousness as he wondered about Jack's concerns.

OoOoO

Sam appeared to be sleeping peacefully but behind closed eyelids a full-blown battle raged. Gunfire. Explosions. She was running and ducking low behind any available cover. Teal'c was on her right, the Colonel on her left and Daniel was with Janet helping to treat the wounded.

She could feel the heat building in her weapon, rounds exploding out of its barrel at a deadly rate. Teal'c's staff weapon was firing off to her right and she occasionally caught a word or two from the Colonel yelling to be heard above the battlefield noise.

The radio on her shoulder broadcast the intermittent chatter and part of her mind stayed focused on that, listening to the progress, or lack thereof, as the firefight continued to escalate around her.

She heard the Colonel acknowledge they would have to retreat, his voice betraying the adrenaline flowing freely through his veins and his was followed closely by another anxious, authoritative voice crackling through the radio. It was Janet, in full out emergency mode, requesting more time to stabilize a patient.

Another staff blast, this one much closer and off to her left, the sound changing to a dull thud as it found its target. She turned quickly to see the Colonel crashing backwards from the blast. Time slowed as she watched, his hand falling free of his weapon, his body as limp as a rag doll and smoke rising ominously from his chest.

She felt fingers of fear squeezing her chest, threatening to steal her breath away and then she was yelling and moving towards him.

"Colonel!"

She awakened gasping for air; her breath caught in her chest and her heart pounding wildly as her eyes searched the room. She took a quick inventory of her injuries and noting only a dull pain in her shoulder pulled herself into a sitting position. Her eyes moved slowly around the room and confusion colored her features as she realized she was alone.

Karen Summers was suddenly beside her, checking the monitors, steadying her as she sat erect, feet dangling over the side of the bed.

"Take it easy, Sam. You're ok."

"Where's Janet? Where's the colonel?"

"You were injured . . ."

"I don't care! Where is Janet? And who are you?"

Karen stood still for a moment and then smiled calmly.

"I'm Dr. Summers. Dr. Frasier isn't here just now."

"She's . . . oh, God." Her voice trembled as the memory flashed into her mind. "Oh, God, Janet."

Dr. Summers could see by the look on Sam's face that this was an extremely painful memory and she attempted to soothe her with a calm, caring voice.

"It's ok, Sam."

Karen watched as the reality of Janet's death settled around her, the memory fresh and the pain vivid. Sam swayed slightly on the bed and Karen rushed to steady her, forcing her to lie down again. Sam's skin was hot against her touch and Karen's forehead wrinkled in concern as she eased her down onto the mattress. She hastily checked her vital signs and called for more medication.

By the time the nurse arrived Sam was curled into a tight ball with tears streaming down her face. Karen injected the medication into the I.V. and returned the syringe to the nurse.

"Find the General."

The nurse nodded and moved away quickly.

"Where's Colonel O'Neill? He was wounded. Why isn't he here?"

"He's fine, Sam. You just need to focus on getting well right now."

"No! I want to see the colonel!"

"Sam, I swear to you that he's ok. They are all fine! Just take it easy."

"Janet? Janet is fine? You're lying! She's . . ."

Her words broke off sharply as she hesitated to speak aloud those final words then she pushed herself upright and off the bed, hanging on to the table as her legs trembled beneath her weight. Sam was completely out of control, adrenaline still fueling her responses and blue eyes flashing anger as she considered the words of the doctor beside her. She had just enough memory to make her extremely agitated, bordering on dangerous.

The memories were so vivid that it felt as if she'd just stepped off the battlefield. As her eyes searched the room the smell of weapons fire and burning flesh still filled her nostrils, her ears still ringing slightly from the repeated firing of her weapon. She had seen the colonel go down and knew without a doubt that Janet hadn't made it. So, it stood to reason that if this woman would deny that, she wouldn't hesitate to prevaricate about the colonel, also.

"I'm fine, Doctor but Colonel O'Neill was injured and I need to see for myself that he's here! Out of my way, please!"

"I'm sorry, I can't allow you to leave. You're not well."

Sam placed one hand on her shoulder, using her adrenalin rush to shove her aside as she made her way unsteadily towards the door. Karen called out once more and then pressed the panic button, which alerted all medical personnel to the emergency.

Sam stepped through the door and grabbed onto the first bed, steadying herself as her eyes searched the row of beds along the wall. She was aware of a slight buzzing inside her head and the ringing in her ears was increasing but she had no idea that it was the result of her rapidly rising temperature. Panic began to seep through her as her mind supplied the reason for the colonel's absence and she turned to move away. A young nurse blocked her path and was reaching out to help her but she jerked her arm away, her only goal to locate the colonel.

"Where is he? Where's Colonel O'Neill?"

"We need to get you back to bed, Ma'am."

"Didn't you hear me? Where is Colonel O'Neill?"

The young nurse looked past Sam to see Dr. Summers exiting from the room and she nodded as she stopped a few feet behind Sam.

"I'm sorry, Sam."

Sam turned again to face her, swaying slightly at the too quick movement.

"He isn't here. He's gone . . ."

"Gone? No! No!"

Sam's legs suddenly were too weak to hold her and she started to slump against the bed. She looked back at Karen with tear filled eyes.

"Jack! No!" Then she collapsed onto the floor, unconscious.

OoOoO

By the time Jack had been located and arrived at the infirmary, Sam was again safe and prone in her bed. She was unnaturally still as he stood close to her waiting for Dr. Summers to return.

"General! I'm sorry, Sir, she's slipped into a coma."

"What? What happened?"

"Her fever is continuing to rise, General and she became very agitated after a particularly vivid dream. She collapsed on the infirmary floor."

"Dream? About what?"

His brow was deeply furrowed as he reached out to grasp Sam's hand.

"Dr. Frasier, Sir. I believe she remembered her death. She pushed me aside and left her room but we were able to stop her before she left the infirmary."

Jack nodded. He didn't really understand but it didn't matter. She was in a coma – that was all that mattered.

"Did she ask for me, Doc?"

"Sir . . ."

Jack's eyes turned a heart-stopping cold as he stared at her and remembered the distressed, teary-eyed Carter he'd held in his arms that day. She had seen him go down from the staff blast and it had shaken her to the core. He could still feel her fingers digging into his shoulders as he remembered her holding on to him in near desperation, and for a few brief moments she was not a hardened soldier, she was the woman he loved.

"Did she?"

He voice was demanding and almost accusing as he questioned her.

"Yes, Sir. But her fever was extremely high and she was very disoriented."

"So, what now, Doc?"

"We just have to wait and see."

"Well, you're wrong about that! I am so not waiting!"

TBC -


	18. Journey's End

**Thanks for all the reviews! So nice to know that you are enjoying the story! Now, last chapter! **

**Title:Convolutions - Chapter 18. Journey's End**

Content Level: Suitable for all audiences G/T

Content Warnings: Profanity, Violence.

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without author's consent. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Copyright © 2005 Maggie Eaton

Note: As always, any and all mistakes are my own.

_Previously – _

"_We just have to wait and see."_

"_Well, you're wrong about that! I am so not waiting!"_

**Chapter 18. Journey's End**

Jack stormed into the labs like the irate madman that he was. His six-foot plus frame identifying him as an imposing menace, keyed up and ready to take on anything. Daniel followed close at his heels anxious for the scientist that failed to provide the desired answers and hoping he could act as a buffer between them and Jack; thankful that Jack didn't have a weapon.

"General! It's good to see you, Sir!"

Jack stopped and took in a deep breath but his demeanor didn't change in the least.

"What's the progress on the antidote, Jennings?"

"Um, well, nothing definite yet but we're working around the clock, Sir. We should know something in a few days, maybe a bit longer."

"You've got twelve hours, Jenson and then I'm kicking the whole lot of you out of here! You've had this stuff for what . . . weeks now? If you haven't figured it out yet, you aren't going to!"

He spun on his heels to face Daniel who instinctively pulled back just a fraction.

"Daniel, I want you to keep an eye on this and if there's still nothing by 1700 hours I want you to call me!"

"But that isn't twelve hours, Jack."

"Daniel!"

Jack's voice resounded about the room followed by clinking glass as someone dropped a beaker, startled by his sudden outburst. Daniel, however, simply slipped into his submissive personality and looked innocently back at Jack.

"Sure, Jack. What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to see Landry and then rattle a few cages. I'm sure there are lots of scientists that would just love a crack at this! 1700 hours, Daniel, don't be late!"

"No! No, of course not!"

"I mean it!"

Jack held Daniel in his penetrating stare while the silence in the room seemed to expand across the known universe.

"I know, Jack. I understand. 1700 hours."

Jack turned and hurried out the door and Daniel heard the scientists behind him literally breath a sigh of relief. They were all still standing frozen in place when he turned to look at them, five sets of condemned eyes hoping for reprieve.

"Better get to it, fellows. I don't think he was kidding."

The men exchanged alarmed glances and then began moving to their assigned tasks and whispering to each other, as Jennings walked up to Daniel.

"What's happened, Daniel?"

"Sam's in a coma, Matt. We're losing her."

"Oh, God."

"Just do your best, ok. We're running out of time. Oh, and Jack . . . really wasn't kidding."

Jennings nodded his head and went back to work while Daniel sat at a nearby table searching his mind for any avenue they hadn't yet explored.

OoOoO

Jack burst into Landry's office with the same finesse that he'd shown the scientist and the other General listened attentively for a long time before speaking. Jack was his friend but he'd never seen him like this. So he sat quietly behind his desk while Jack paced and ranted loudly about the lack of progress from the labs, never touching on the exact subject that was bothering him most. After ten minutes or so, he stopped and collapsed into the chair in front of Landry's desk.

"Feel better now, Jack?"

"No, Hank! I don't."

Then he was up again and moving, pacing the floor in the absence of anything positive to do.

"I'm losing her. I have to do something!"

"Ok, just take it easy. We'll call in the Chinese specialists and there's a guy in Germany, too, I think. Anyone else you want?"

"Thor?"

"The message's already been sent, Jack but he hasn't responded."

Landry paused then, seeing his friend in a new light and realizing for the first time just how much Sam really meant to him. Not that Jack would ever admit it but it was obvious, at least to him, losing her would devastate him, he might not ever recover. This was the woman that made him complete, that once in a lifetime love that so few were lucky enough to find and he resolved silently to do all he could to save her . . . and Jack.

"Why don't you go check on Sam and I'll make the calls. You have my promise, Jack; we'll do all that we can. We won't give up."

Jack turned to look at him and Landry saw the rage evaporate as quickly as the morning mist, all the fight going out of him only to be replaced by a deep sadness in his eyes.

"I'll call you as soon as I know something."

"Thanks, Hank."

Jack dropped his head, whether in worry or a bit of shame, Hank didn't know and didn't care then he watched silently as Jack left his office and headed back to Sam's bedside.

OoOoO

Jack became a permanent fixture in the infirmary. His cell phone could accept no more messages and his emails went unanswered. He phoned General Baker to advise him of the changes in Sam's condition and then he had ensconced himself beside her bed where three days later, he still waited.

His orders had been carried out and precisely twelve hours after he had issued them, Daniel informed the scientists of the arrival of reinforcements. They were to share all they had learned and then step back, allowing the new recruits a chance to find the solution. He hadn't removed them from Stargate Command only because Hank had convinced him that he was overreacting due to his personal involvement in the situation and that even though unsuccessful, they were doing their best.

Jack returned to her bedside and had sat impatiently waiting ever since that conversation. He'd held her hand and stroked her hair, he'd talked about the things they'd done together and the things they still wanted to do. He'd promised her anything . . . anything if she'd just come back to him.

Jack scrubbed a weary hand across his features and wondered how Sam dealt with these guys on a daily basis. She would have been able to talk to them, fill in the missing points that they just weren't quite getting but he couldn't do that. He just hoped one of them would find the missing piece of the puzzle before it was too late.

The nurses moved about quietly doing their jobs and not wanting to disturb him as he spoke in hushed tones for hours at a time. They were amazed that the usually quiet general could keep up such a running conversation for so long a time. They were also impressed by the strength and dedication that he showed for Colonel Carter.

Daniel appeared frequently to stand by his side or sit across from him and update him on any signs of progress, always attempting to raise his spirits and assure him that they would find the solution. Then he would disappear again to see if there was any more news or to sleep while Jack remained and waited.

Dr. Summers did everything in her power to get him to leave for a few hours and rest. She pleaded with him, pulled rank; finally insisting that she would sedate him and have him forcibly removed. At that point, General O'Neill advised her that it would be her final act as an Air Force officer or as a doctor, if she dared to carry out that threat. His eyes told her he meant every word and she accepted defeat, ordering instead that a small cot be moved into the room next to Sam.

Jack sat beside the bed holding her hand in both his own and staring at her sweet, peaceful face. Three days. Three days and she was still holding on but he knew she was growing weaker each day and slipping deeper into the coma. He'd heard the regretful whispers of the nurses when they thought he was sleeping but he had no intent on giving up on her. She was strong and she wanted to live.

He had just started to talk to her again when Daniel burst into the room. A brilliant smile illuminated the features of his face as he skidded to a stop a few inches from Jack.

"Jack! They've got it, Jack! They found it!"

He was on his feet before Daniel finished speaking, eyes-wide, daring to hope.

"The antidote? They found it?"

"Yes! They found it, Jack! They're on their way now!"

A few minutes later Dr. Summers injected the serum and then stepped back to wait beside Dr. Jennings. Jack's eyes were locked on Sam, searching for the slightest reaction or movement.

Fifteen minutes later they were still waiting.

Jack turned towards Daniel with unasked questions filling his eyes and then his gaze traveled slowly around the room, finally coming to rest on Dr. Summers.

"She's weakened considerably over the last few days, Sir. It may take longer than we'd thought."

"It _will_ work though, right? You're sure?"

"Yes, Sir, it will work."

Jack nodded and turned back towards Sam resuming his vigil. He didn't seem to notice as the hours passed and the room slowly emptied until he was again alone with Sam.

OoOoO

_**Twelve hours later, mid afternoon of the fourth day.**_

"Well then, why isn't she waking up?"

Jack's voice was loud and full of frustration as he stood beside Sam's bed talking to Dr. Summers. The past few hours had worn on him more than he'd realized.

"We just have to wait, General. I'm sure she'll come round soon."

"I'm tired of waiting, Doc."

Jack turned away from Karen and towards Sam, his emotions were on overload and his composure was beginning to wear thin under the strain of keeping them in check. He'd had enough waiting to last a lifetime.

"Carter!"

He barked out her name and Dr. Summers jumped slightly then looked at Daniel in surprise.

"Sir! Please!"

"Come on, Carter! Wake up!"

Jack reached out a hand and started to pat her cheek impatiently, then grasped her chin and shook her head slightly.

"I don't think that will help, Sir!"

"Carter, I am ordering you to wake up! Do you hear me, Carter? Now, right now! "

Sam didn't even flinch at his tone as Jack attempted to intimidate her into consciousness. Daniel finally stepped up and placed a hesitant hand on his arm.

"Jack! That isn't helping you know. She can't hear you."

"How do you know that, Daniel? Carter's brain never sleeps! She can always hear me, she just needs to fight back!"

"Sir, perhaps a softer tone?"

Jack threw a chilling glare in her direction and she shrugged innocently.

"I know you want her to wake up, Jack. We all do but this really isn't. . . "

"Dammit, Daniel! Don't tell me how to act and don't tell me how to handle Carter!"

"Handle her, Jack? She's your wife not some green recruit that you can bully!"

"Oh, please, Daniel! How many times must we have this same argument? Or haven't you noticed that we approach things differently?"

"Hundreds, Jack! And yes, I've noticed. I've noticed you never listen!"

"I listen when I need to listen but this isn't one of those times, so back off!"

"That's always your answer, isn't it, Jack? You're right and I'm wrong. How about considering someone else's point of view for a change?"

"Are you saying that I never considered your point of view, Daniel?"

"Yes!"

"Dr. Jackson? General?"

Karen tried to step in between the two men who were suddenly arguing over nothing but they ignored her, stepping to the side to avoid her interference. She let out a long sigh, crossed her arms and waited.

"I always considered your point of view, Daniel which is why we ended up in prison or enslaved as mine workers or the evening's entertainment for some slimy, overdressed snakehead!"

"That isn't fair, Jack, it wasn't always my fault! And your antagonistic attitude put you in harm's way more than once!"

"Saved your ass a few times, too Danny boy, as I recall! And no, it wasn't always your fault but you damn well made your fair contribution so don't stand there and tell me that I never listened to you! The fact is I listened too much! Now, you can either shut up or you can leave but Carter is going to wake up! If I have to shake her, or shout at the top of my lungs, I'll do it. If that doesn't work maybe I'll try firing off a P-90 in here and see if _that_ gets her attention!"

"Jack?"

"What!"

His voice boomed the word across the room in the same volume he'd just been using on Daniel, chopping it off quickly in a short, terse question.

"Too loud."

Soft, slurred words seemed to echo in the sudden quiet.

Both men turned towards Sam in unison. As the room went deadly quiet they turned quickly back to stare at each other in shocked silence. Then with no visible signal or communication they both bolted towards Sam, Daniel on one side of the bed and Jack on the other.

Their heated argument was forgotten in less than a heartbeat as Jack knelt beside the bed reaching for Sam's hand. When he spoke his voice was soft and loving.

"Hey, Carter. You awake?"

"Either that . . . or hell."

Her voice was weak and halting but Jack chuckled softly as he pressed his lips against her hand and then glanced guiltily at Daniel. She was conscious enough to be irritated and that was a welcome change after watching her still, almost lifeless form for days.

"Come on, Sam, time to wake up. Can you open your eyes for me?"

"Too tired."

"I know, baby, but you need to wake up and talk to me. Can you do that?"

She was already slipping away, her hand relaxing in his as he held on tightly.

"Try to keep her talking, General."

"Carter!" Jack raised his voice slightly again and Sam's body jerked in response.

"Sir?"

"Open your eyes, Carter! Look at me."

Her fingers curled around his again and squeezed lightly as she struggled against the darkness that held her captive.

Daniel stood by silently and Dr. Summers had joined him placing two fingers on Sam's wrist to check her pulse as they watched.

"Ummm . . .can't."

"Come on, Carter, let me see those baby blues."

A soft chuckle escaped her but it sounded more like a gasp for breath.

"What?"

Jack tickled her cheek lightly and his voice was teasing but there was a sense of pleading, too as he tried to pull Sam back from the brink.

"You heard me, open your eyes. We'll take a vacation . . . blue skies, pearly white beaches, a gentle wind through the palm trees. Come on, Sam, you love the beach."

"I thought she hated sand, Jack."

Daniel looked up innocently meeting Jack's eyes in a sincere stare.

"Keep talking, Sir, I'll be right back!"

Karen jogged out of the room and headed for the medical supply cabinet, quickly filling a syringe with a mild stimulant and returning to Sam's bedside. She injected the liquid into the tubing and placed her hand back on Sam's wrist, then nodded her head as the General met her eyes.

"It's just a stimulant. Keep talking, Sir."

Jack was nothing if not impatient, even with the strength of hope tugging at his heartstrings.

"Dammit, Sam, _open_ your eyes! Please."

Heavy eyelids quivered and lashes fluttered gently as her fingers curled tautly around his and Sam struggled to do as he asked. The muscles in her face tightened, almost grimacing as she forced each small movement.

"That's it, Sam, you can do it. Come on."

Jack's face broke into a full smile as she blinked once, twice and then locked onto his eyes. Daniel's smile almost matched Jack's as he fidgeted nervously beside the bed.

"Hey, Carter!"

"Sir."

"How ya doing? Feelin' ok? Anything hurt?"

". . . shoulder."

Jack's eyes moved to her wounded shoulder. It should have been well on its way to healing but the infection had eaten at her flesh and it was still an ugly, weeping hole beneath the bandages.

"Ok. Just lie still. You're gonna be ok."

Jack looked at the doctor for guidance and she nodded for him to continue.

"You remember what happened, Sam?"

Her eyes fluttered closed and he leaned in quickly.

"Stay with me, Sam! Look at me and tell me what you remember."

"Tired, Sir."

"No! Sam, stay awake! Come on now, talk to me."

There was a long pause while they waited for her to respond but she only shook her head slightly. Finally, Jack grasped her shoulders and shook her gently.

"Sam!"

"No . . . stop, Jack."

She was almost whining, her voice unknowingly expressing her exhaustion.

"I'm sorry, Sir, maybe we should let her rest a bit longer."

"But, Doc, you said . . ."

Jack stopped mid-sentence and turned back towards Sam. He stared at her for a long time watching as her breathing began to slow and she drifted back towards sleep. He didn't want to lose her in that unreachable darkness and he expressed his determination in a single word.

"No."

Then he leaned in and kissed her. He pressed his lips against hers and happily noted their welcoming warmth instead of the blazing heat that had plagued her. She was still for a long moment and then returned his kiss, gently and sweetly warming all the cold, neglected places in his heart. Then he pulled away slowly watching the small smile that danced across her lips.

"Who?" She whispered quietly, eyes still closed.

"What! You're killing me here, Carter!"

Dr. Summers exchanged a puzzled look with Daniel who just shrugged and smiled.

"Open your eyes and see."

"Um . . . tired."

"You've been sleeping for days, Carter. Can't spare a minute for your old CO?"

She slowly opened her eyes again and looked into Jack's face. He was sitting on the bed, leaning over her and effectively blocking out the presence of the others in the room.

"Hi, Sir."

"Hi, Carter! That's better! Now, you know me?" His thumb smoothed a gentle line across her cheek as he spoke.

She huffed out two short grunts of laughter.

"Yeah, I . . . know you."

"Good. Know this guy?" He lifted his hand and motioned Daniel forward.

"Hi, Sam."

"Daniel."

"It's good to see you. Feeling better I hope!"

Sam just smiled slightly and moved her head a bit trying to discern the figure standing patiently behind him.

Jack followed her eyes and waited as Sam studied Dr. Summers, feeling her fingers tighten slightly around his in what he suspected was confusion.

"Hey, how about me?"

"What?"

"Tell me who I am. What you remember."

"O'Neill . . ."

"And?"

"SG-1. CO."

Jack's shoulders seem to sag a bit as they watched him and then Sam's eyes seemed to twinkle with a devilish gleam

"My favorite CO." She clarified.

"Yeah?"

"Um hmm."

"Well that's a _little_ better."

Sam smiled, really smiled as Jack stared at her adoringly and Daniel moved quietly out the door with Dr. Summers close behind him.

"Man of my dreams?"

"Hey, even better."

"Love of my life?"

"That's the one."

Jack reached strong arms around her and pulled her close in a gentle hug, smiling insanely when her arms closed around him.

OoOoO

Sam slowly became aware of hushed voices invading the space around her and struggled momentarily to open her eyes. Daniel and Jack were sitting facing each other, talking quietly and drinking coffee.

"So it wasn't the new guys?"

"No, Alan Wainsley actually. Seems he's been working around the clock almost since the day he was released from the infirmary."

"Released?"

"Yeah, seems he was one of the scientists that we rescued."

"So, I guess he has a crush on her, right?"

Daniel chuckled and across the room, unseen by either of them, Sam smiled.

"Probably."

"So, what was it? What finally worked?"

"It was . . . um . . . beta, feta, megitone . . .something. You know I really don't remember."

"What!" Jack growled and then chuckled as Daniel stared at him innocently.

"Well, Jack, I'm not a botanist you know."

"No?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Jack, I'm sure."

"What's the difference? Isn't it all the same language?"

"Well, yes . . ."

"And you _are_ a linguist."

"Well, yes but . . ."

"So?"

"So what?"

A soft chuckle broke their concentration and they both turned towards Sam. She had turned her head slightly to look at them, her smile still accentuating her features.

"Leave him alone, Jack."

"Why?" He teased then moved close to her. "Hey, beautiful! How ya doing?"

"Ok."

"Yeah? Really ok? Or is this like that "fine" thing you always do."

"No, I'm really ok. A bit tired but ok."

"That's great, Sam!"

"You ok, Daniel?"

"Yeah, I'm great, other than Jack pestering me, I'm terrific. It's good to see you're feeling better."

"Yeah . . . about that . . ."

Jack's eyes widened as he waited for her to finish the sentence.

"What?"

"I'm not sure I . . . remember what happened. It's sort of mixed up."

"It's ok, baby, you've been sick for a while. It'll come back."

Sam's eyebrows raised in surprise as she looked at Jack.

"Baby?"

Jack turned a quick glance at Daniel who was biting his lip and then shrugged his shoulders quickly as he met Jack's stare.

"Um . . . yeah. We, uh, might have a few things to talk about."

"We? As in you and me?"

"Daniel?"

Jack gave a slight nod of his head towards the door and Daniel practically jumped from his chair.

"Uh, right! I'm going. Glad you're better, Sam and I'll . . . see you later."

"Daniel, wait!"

"Sorry, Sam. Gotta run. Later, ok?"

Then he was gone and the door was closing behind him.

"Sam, I . . ."

The door opened suddenly and Daniel poked his head inside again.

"Sorry. Jack . . . don't beat around the bush this time, ok? Give us all a break and just tell her."

"Daniel!"

The door slammed and when Jack turned to look at Sam her eyes were wide in a silent question.

"Tell me what, Jack?"

"That I was . . . concerned about you. That I still care."

"You do? More than you're supposed to?"

"A whole lot more."

"And you're a general." Her fingers brushed against the star on his collar.

"Yeah."

"My general?"

"Yeah."

Jack looked away, not wanting to go where she was heading.

"Thank you, Jack."

"For what?"

"For holding on. For pulling me back. For loving me."

"I do."

"I know."

"Then you know . . ."

"My hero."

"No." Jack shook his head refusing that title adamantly.

"Man of my dreams?"

"I hope so."

Her voice softened and her hand reached out to his as he looked up again quickly, a touch of confusion mixed with hope stirring in his dark eyes.

"Love of my life?"

Jack held her gaze for a long moment watching the small smile that threatened to spread across her lips. And finally he answered, repeating the words of the night before as she had.

"That's the one."

_**The End**_


End file.
